All-Star Criminals

Blackstone Baboon Does Some Day Time Drunk Driving In Shrewsbury With Unsecured 6 Week Old Baby In Back Seat, Smashes Into Route 9 Barrier, Throws Straw-Ber-Itas Out Window At Traffic

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Turtleboy Investigates

North Shore Eats Part 2: Greg Bates Sentenced To Jail For Non-Payment Of Child Support, Alleged Threats Of Violence In Front Of Kids, Use Of Fake Profiles To Attack Critics And Brag About Greg’s Sex Game

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Nudniks

Greg Bates Lawyers Up For Deformation Lawsuit, North Shore Eats Cult Followers Go Free My Boi, Hoodbooger Realtor Accuses Turtleboy Of Child Abuse

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All-Star Criminals

Webster Rapper’s Brother Accurately Predicts Turtleboy Debut When He Spends Father Day With Pa Dukes And Big Bro In Jail Cell After Crack House Gets Busted And Dad Fights Cops At WPD Station With Car Full Of Crack Cocaine

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Turtleboy Investigates

North Shore Eats Part 1: Meet Greg Bates – Unemployed Deadbeat Who Hides Child Support Money By Using Big Facebook Group To Extort Local Restaurants For Free Gift Cards And Cash

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Podcasts

Greatest Show Ever: Kevin Lynch Called In With Legendary Ranting, Ends Up Agreeing To Historic Peace Treaty Brokered By Uncle Turtleboy With Bret Killoran And Our Facebook Pages

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Smiles And Sunshine

Here’s The Agenda For Special Baby Daddy Day Edition Of Turtleboy Live From The Clarence Woods Emerson Facebook Page, Featuring Bret Killoran And Matty Mo

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Nudniks

Skag Who Provoked Vicious Red Line Assault By Lying About Upskirting Gave The Most Insane Interview On The News, Tells Reporter He’s A Creep Too For Pointing Out The Victim Has Broken Ribs

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Hoodrat Heroes

Fien Laqueefa Goes Full Crackopotamus On Boston Police For Being In Murder Central JP Projects, Claims To Be A Lawyer Who Wants To Do Her Homework, Says She Reps Jesus In Most Ratchet Video Of All Time

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Mainstream Media Fails

Boston Globe Investigation Find That Serial Plagiarizer Kevin Cullen’s Columns Were “Complete Fabrication” But They’re Bringing Him Back Anyway Because….Fuck It

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Turtleboy Investigates

Grafton High School Teacher Under Fire For Sending Noodz To Senior Who Just Graduated, Didn’t See Anything Wrong With It, And I Kind Of Feel Bad For Her

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Nudniks

Rockland Bobbin For Boners Selectwoman Now Says She Doesn’t Want The Town Hall Bone Zone Tapes Released, Was Too Drunk And Doesn’t Remember Anything, Tape Says Otherwise

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