Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.
We need more Police Departments to run their Facebook pages like the Rochester, NH Police Facebook page, because this is hilarious:
So we all agree that whoever the cop is that posts as this Facebook page, they HAVE TO BE a turtle rider, right? Because the flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat routine is a Turtleboy original schtick. Wouldn’t surprise us. Turtleboy is the guilty pleasure of law enforcement everywhere.
This genius accused them of discrimination against the flat brimmed hat community:
He sounds like fun.
Newsflash – if you don’t bend the brim of your hat, you look like a fucking idiot. It’s a bad phase in fashion. It’s up there with bell bottoms for chicks and skinny jeans for men. You’re gonna look back 20 years from now and hate yourself. Do the right thing and bend the brim.
It’s just too perfect. Even though that might be a Houston Texans hat, we’re gonna assume it’s a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat, because it’s way more fun that way. Either way, the Michael J. Fox puffy vest in the middle of January is such a bad ass move for this Granite State muffbasket.
I’ll tell you why more police departments need to do this – because it works. There is no more effective way to identify a local boob than by using Facebook. Everyone’s on it, and people can’t wait to be the first one to play “name that hoodrat” with their local police. And it took all of two seconds for this magnificent slugpump to be identified:
Oh yea, he looks like a Billy Morse. He writes like one too.
Gotta love Mark Leblanc and his disdain for snitches though. I mean, lots of grown ass men are still going through their “fuck the police” stage. And in the least surprising turn of events ever. Mark is also a fan of that flat brimmed hat. He doesn’t seem to own a Chicago Bulls one (yet), but he’s got plenty of others in the reserves:
Bros, the 90’s called. They said you’re embarrassing them.
He wasn’t the only one either:
But those all appear to be kids. If you’re saying that shit as a kid, you’re still a dipshit. But you have time to grow out of it. Unfortunately the “fuck the police” phase is all too common these days. However, if you look like a 40 year old man who’s seen some shit, and has a recovery meeting later this afternoon,
and you’re still doing, then it might be time to reevaluate your life choices. Just sayin.
Billy Morse appears to be your average millenial dumbass suburban white kid who thinks he gets to say the “n” word because they say it in his favorite rap videos:
But he’s totally not racist.
Glad he cleared that one up. Because apparently you can just call black people the “n” on Facebook, and as long as you follow it up with “I’m not racist but I thought it was hilarious” you are absolved from allegations of racism. Smart man.
He’s really into selfies
Chucking the bird
And posing for strange, homoerotic selfies with his fantastic friends, all of whom also rock the official hat of choice for ding-dongs everywhere:
Like I said, more PD pages need to start doing this. You just need to be careful and make sure the comments section doesn’t turn into the Salem Witch Trials:
Then you can go back to playing “Most Wanted Monday,” and everyone leaves happy.
Except for Billy Morse, because his dumbass is going to jail.
Anyway, check out the Rochester, NH PD Facebook page when you get the chance. Almost as entertaining as the Bangor, ME PD page. It’s fun, and a great way to catch the bad guys. Hope to see the Worcester Police doing it in the near future.
We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.