All-Star Criminals

All-Star Thompson Mom Found Drunk On Highway Shoulder With 5 Month Old In Backseat Doesn’t Realize Her Car Is Too Fucked Up To Move

All-Star Thompson Mom Found Drunk On Highway Shoulder With 5 Month Old In Backseat Doesn’t Realize Her Car Is Too Fucked Up To Move

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Here’s another All-Star ratchet out of the Connecticut Corridor, wasted in her car on the highway with a five month old baby in the backseat:

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Don’t let that glamour shot fool you – she’s a ginger:

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Nuff said. No rules. No laws. No soul.

Mother of the year candidate right here. I can just smell the strong odor of failure and disappointment she emanates all the way in Worcester. I bet if I go to her Facebook page I’ll find a profile picture of her ripping butts and drinking a bud light in public:

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Called it.

You know you’re wasted when you’re so drunk that you pull over and stop driving. Regular drunk drivers think they’re invincible, so they keep going. But this chick is a whole nother level. She obviously hit something which is why her tire was all fucked up, so she literally just gave up and waited to be arrested. That’s a special kind of drunk.

Look, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I don’t care if you’re such a degenerate that you end up destroying your life. Just don’t drag innocent children down with you. This is what separates the Gabbi Hebert’s from the Fall River Guttermuppet’s. It’s amusing for us to watch your demise if it’s just you. But when you bring kids into it, we really just hate you. And that’s not very funny at all.

But I’ll tell you what is funny – when the slugrakes go on WINY Radio’s Facebook page to defend their honor. Especially when they start off by using one of our favorite ratchet lines of all time:

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“Only God can judge.” LOL. We joke around with ghetto catchphrases like that, but it’s only funny because they actually say it and think it makes them sound profound. Newsflash – anyone can judge you at any time. It’s what our entire legal system revolves around – human beings judging other human beings. And even the OJ jury would find you guilty of oozing your gravy dumpster juices all over civilized society. So when you say, “all of your opinions mean nothing in my world,” you’re assuming I don’t get jury that day. Because you’re so guilty it hurts.

And for what it’s worth, God is judging you too. He says your wrinkled penis fly trap should be permanently shut down and condemned like Three Mile Island.

 

 

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4 Comment(s)
  • me
    April 19, 2017 at 6:30 pm

    i look back and know how damn dumb i was when younger. i did A LOT of stupid schitt–recklessness in the name of fun or misery. but it takes a super duper special kind of stupid to drive drunk with your child in the vehicle. girl, please get some help.

  • God
    April 19, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    Hi, it’s me. I’ve come to judge. Go to AA Amy.

  • mystressovmayhem
    April 19, 2017 at 4:07 pm

    “Only God can judge me, and your opinions mean nothing in my world.” Alright then! So do we not have to pay the lawyers fees when you claim you’re indigent, and need a court appointed attorney?

  • Tony
    April 19, 2017 at 3:41 pm

    Just breaking her kid in for partying, maybe a little early.

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