• The Gun Parlor

  • Certified Breeder With Six Illegitimate Kids Drops Baby Out Of Her Tunaflap On Dirty Malden Sidewalk, Claims She Didn’t Know She Was Knocked Up


    After six kids, the baby probably just fell out anyway.               Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us [email protected] for more information, and check out…

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    Gay Dude Tries Hooking Up Butterball Buddy With Jr. Bangshow, She Declines, He Flips Out, Gets Kicked Out, Runs To NECN For Interview About “Hate Crime”


    Another day, another professional victim looking for something to be offended by.               Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us [email protected] for more information, and…

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    NH Fugitive Of The Week Kiddie Diddler Signs Up For Saturday Night Karaoke Throwdown At Local Pub, Gets Spotted By A Not-Yet-Drunk-Enough Patron And Taken Down By The Fuzz Mid-Rendition


    If you’re ever topping a Most Wanted list somewhere, you should probably lay low, not belt out your best half-garbled “Free Bird” in a packed pub. Just sayin’    …

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    Backpage Hookersaurus Rex And Anti-DCF Crusader Turning Tricks Out Of North Shore No-Tell-Motel Has Her Boink Buddy Troll Employee Parking Lot For Open Vehicles With Valuables Inside, Gets Caught On Camera Ganking Front Desk Employee’s Purse With Kids’ Giftcards Inside


    Crack is whack, kids. Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer. Holla atcha girl: [email protected]    …

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    Junior Hoodbunny Daughter of Revere City Councillor-At-Large George Rotondo Caught On Video Throwing Hands With Classmates, Cries To Daddy Once She Loses The Upperhand And Gets Whooped; Dad Goes Free My Hoodbunny On Revere Scanner FB Page


    Abusing your position of ‘power’ within the city to try and bring charges against other children who were not the initial aggressors is kinda frowned upon. Want to advertise with…

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    Chelsea Woman Beater And Puerto Rican Pitbull Look Alike Tries To Shoot Wife And Daughter, Gets Caught In Firefight With The Fuzz From His House, Burns That Shit Down; Fam Goes Full Throttle Free My Boi, Starts GoFundMe


    Go big or go home and set that bitch on fire.               Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us [email protected] for more information, and…

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    Ratchetastic Arlington Hoodbunny And Former Mass Most Wanted Criminal Posts Clothed Stripper Routines For Her Facebook Fans, Gives Knuckle Sandwich To Anyone Who Gets In Her Way, Including Her Dog


    The dog was only trying to keep her from embarrassing herself.               Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us [email protected] for more information, and…

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    Framingham Fuckknuckle Plays Loop The Loop With His Leashed Pitbull Before Slamming Him Into The Ground Half A Dozen Times In Broad Daylight, Tosses Dog In Woods To Hide The Evidence, Gets Popped Thanks To Good Samaritan


    There is never an excuse to physically harm someone who cannot fight back on the same level. If you do this, you’re automatically a bitchboy.          …

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    Cracked Out Mimi Bobeck Pulls A Soup Nazi, Whips Noodles At Her Friend After Argument, Takes Epic Post Noodle Assault Mugshot, Because Manchester


    Because who hasn’t whipped someone with a wet noodle at some point in their life?             Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us [email protected] for…

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    Self-Proclaimed Feminazi, 41-Year-Old Ratchet Canadian International Student At Quincy College Starts GoFundMe To Pay Tuition & Bills, Sells Used Panties On CL And Cheats On, Beats Men In Her Spare Time


    SJWs are typically batshit, but this androgynous Feminazi takes the cake               Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information,…

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    The Grand Poobah Medford Peter Is Pissed At Uncle Turtleboy, Says He’s All That And A Can Of Pringles And His Lawyer Is Going to Own NSTB’s House


    Hope you’re not sick of the Revere Lesbo Ratchet crew yet. They’re the gift that keeps on giving. Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information,…

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    Captain Save-a-Ho And Perma-Friendzoned Randy Hurley Tries To Defend Honor Of Sabrina Lewis Who Had A Small Cameo Appearance In Revere Ratchet Blog, Says Mayor of Malden & City Council Will Get North Shore Turtlebabe


    We struck gold with the Revere Ratchets! Everyone is in an uproar from Malden to Revere, making North Shore Turtlebabe burn that midnight oil.            …

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    The Family That Nods, Bobs, And Robs Together, Stays Together – Meet the DiBartolomeos


    We’re all getting Turtleboyed around here these days! NSTB is gonna have to eat her words from yesterday’s blog. Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more…

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    A Sordid Affair Of Gutterslug Love And Junkie Rage: Meet The Lesbo Cheesehogs From Our Raunchy Revere Ratchet Fight


    Bulldykes, junkboxes, and artificial insemination, oh my! This is Part 2 – See Part 1 here Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check…

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