Brockton Fair: Land Of Abrasive Carnies, Magnificent Haircuts, Smashed Cars, And Hillbilly Entertainment

image



 

Join the Revolution and Like Turtleboy Sports on Facebook, and/or follow us on Twitter.

Like the Free Turtleboy Facebook page to follow our posts when our other page is arbitrarily suspended. If we ever get shut down for good, this will become the new Turtleboy Sports main Facebook page.

Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

 

 

 

This Turtleboy has never been to the Brockton Fair before, so we decided it was time to see if it was as spectacular as it was made out to be:

11540822_10205379694025810_1364838203922444232_o (1)

We went down on Saturday night, when the featured events included wrestling and a demolition derby. Turns out it was everything we dreamed it would be and more.

The first thing you notice are the carnies. Every one of these guys promises you that you will in fact strike it rich if you play their game. You can’t possibly lose. You win every single time. And if you can’t trust faces like these, then who can you trust?

image

image

image

It’s pretty much impossible to walk five feet by being serenaded by one of these guys, and they don’t like taking no for an answer:

image

This is basically all the Brockton “Fair” is – a bunch of scam games, tossed in with some fried food, rides, and tire fires. But normal fairs have different sections, particularly with farm animals. This was the agricultural section of the Brockton Fair:

image

The world’s saddest Brockton chickens. That’s it.

Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 12.26.24 PM

Although there is also an old British lady who puts on a show with the world’s most spoiled and lazy lion and tiger combination:

image

She spends most of her performance telling lion jokes and asking her pet lion to stop licking the pole:

image

There’s also a clown, (called a bloke) who talks shit about everyone who walks by, including small children, hoping you’ll pay money for the chance of getting him wet.

image

Most people miss because they’re throwing out of pure Brockton anger. But this guy, who felt his manhood was insulted when the clown made fun of his pink shirt and flat brimmed hat, soaked this guy over and over again:

image

Didn’t matter. The bloke got right back up and just talked more shit.

Screen Shot 2016-04-30 at 11.15.26 PM

There’s some nice shopping opportunities at the Brockton Fair. You can buy some tribalware

image

Or get some clearance perfume:

image

Because what woman wouldn’t wanna smell like a $10 Brockton Fair ratchet?

7e1fcfda-4de6-4da8-902b-1f429724deac

The men’s bathroom is state of the art:

image

Who doesn’t like pissing in a smelly trough? After getting in a quick Brockton Fair draining we headed over to the wrestling, where two members of the GED express were pretending to hit each other while the masses cheered them on. Safe to say that at least 95% of those watching still believe that wrestling is real.

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

Luckily many of them brought small children with them and watched as former Applebee’s employees kicked each other in the face:

image

Smelled each other’s butts

image

Slammed each other repeatedly

image

image

image

And taunted each other by calling their opponents “skanks”

image

Unfortunately since wrestling is DEFINITELY real, emotions run high and the fights have a tendency to roll out into the audience. After some back and forth taunting

this Turtleboy ended getting soaked with water, not realizing we were standing next to a prop Poland Spring bottle the entire time.

After that we headed over to the demolition derby where Holbrook’s finest were warming up for this amazing spectacle:

image

Never seen a demolition derby before. Turns out it’s just a bunch of guys with chin straps, blue jeans, NASCAR hats, and Timberlands crashing into each other repeatedly until the last person without a concussion is still driving their wrecked vehicle.

image

image

image

If you’re not entertained watching hillbillies crash into each other then Turtleboy feels bad for you.

Of course the real site to see at the Brockton Fair isn’t watching the Fuzzy Grape’s finest throw each other around in a ring, or watching cars smash into each other. It’s the haircuts. The sweet, glorious haircuts:

image
image

image

Screen Shot 2016-07-11 at 12.12.16 PM

image

image
image
image

image
image
image
image

image

Although the Brockton Fair outfits are equally as magnificent

image

image
Long live the Brockton Fair!!

 

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

7e1fcfda-4de6-4da8-902b-1f429724deac

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Screen Shot 2016-04-30 at 11.17.50 PM

Screen Shot 2016-04-30 at 11.15.26 PM

Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 12.26.24 PM

Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

Wormtown Brewery, Union Tavern, Scavone Plumbing, Bennie’s Cafe,  JJM Insurance, Smokestack Urban BarbecueSmitty’s Tavern, Julio’s Liquors, Solarreviews.net, The Gun Parlor Range, Attorney Anthony Salerno, Harris Auto Body, Rotti Power Equipment in West Boylston

Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.
Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Join the Discussion

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Discussion

  1. Reddog


    Gotta love browntown!

  2. Livesinlowell


    Brockton fair appears to attract some of the homeliest people in the area.

  3. Joe Max


    Looks like fun from here !

  4. Bill P.


    According to an article in the Enterprise last week, carnies would now like to be called ‘showmen’.

    Umm. Okay. I suppose it’s never too late to get in on the politically correct game even if you’re a toothless creepy drug addict trying to rip people off. LOL!

  5. Sal Monella


    Oh Stop it! Stop dissing professional wrassling!

    It’s as real as Hillary Clinton’s vagina.

  6. Worc Taxpayer


    I just want to know who used the stripper pole the lion or the lady?

  7. Mr Butthurt


    WTF no hot pink shorts TB? I am bummed

  8. CheyenneLeonard


    22……The best part of works is from comfort of your house and get paid from $4k-$8k each week. Start today and have your first cash at the end of this week. For more info Check the following link…………..WageMax30.COMcopy the web adderss

  9. wabbitt


    I for one wouldn’t let a child near that first carnie. Dude looks like he has a few kids dismembered in a basement somewhere.

arrow