Sports

Butthurt Indy Reporter Gregg Doyel Says Patriots Are Like 1919 Black Sox

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So I was listening to Dennis, Callahan, and Minihane on WEEI this morning and I heard this chump named Gregg Doyel, who evidently writes for the Indianapolis Star, compare the New England Patriots to the 1919 Chicago Black Sox – the team who rigged the World Series.

“You’€™re saying we had a team rigging a World Series in 1919 to lose it and we think that’€™s the worst crime ever. Having a championship game rigged to win it, it’€™s in the same sentence.”

LOL. Sure one team blatantly cheated in order to make sure they didn’t win several games, while the other team played with balls that science has proven caused them to lose an unnoticeable amount of air pressure. But besides that it’s basically the same thing because a yahoo from Indianapolis said so.

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He wasn’t done saying dumb shit though:

“This could be the greatest quarterback, coach combo ever, and that’€™s how it will go down in your neck of the worlds. In the other 49 ½ states they cheat and so how good are they? That’€™s the legacy and I’€™m going to tell you that’€™s true. This is not me saying they cheated the Colts, but this is me saying legacy is perception.”

Newsflash – no one cares what people in the other 49.5 loser states think. I don’t know what half of Massachusetts he’s referring to, but I assume it’s Cambridge and everything west of Worcester. Because those places are filled with morons too. And Rhode Island and New Hampshire are Massachusetts Jr., so that should be AT MOST 47.0 states who think we’re cheaters.

But the biggest problem with what he said is that scientific data suggests otherwise. This map proves it:

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Looks more like 1.5 states think the Patriots cheated. And 99% of people reading this blog right now have no idea what state that is. I mean, who cares what morons in Nebraska think anyway? That’s not even a real state. Just look at it’s shape. It looks like that dumbass Tetris piece you always ended up getting right when you needed the long straight bar. Get out of my face Nebraska. And Hawaii isn’t really a state. We just needed a nice round number of states so we stole them. No one cares what anyone in Hawaii thinks. Hell, even people in New Jersey are smart enough to know the Patriots didn’t cheat.

Finally he ended his hilarious butthurt Indy fanboy quote with this gem:

“Here’€™s the thing with Brady, with me specifically. He’€™s evolution. He’€™s bigger, taller, better looking, more talented, smarter, funnier. I think he’€™s fabulous and untouchable, until about a week ago. Now, you know what, he’€™s just like everybody else. I think the legacy is he’€™s a great, great, great quarterback, comma, just like everybody else.”

The butthurt is strong in this one. Clearly the many, many years of Patriots bullying the Colts have affected his brain. This is from a guy who likes a team that PURPOSELY LOST 14 games in a row in 2011, and then won their final two because they had locked up the number one overall pick. They cheated to get Andrew Luck – the best quarterback in the NFL after Brady retires. Because when you lose on purpose, it’s cheating. Like in 1919 when the Black Sox did it. Funny he should mention that. Oh yea, and they’ve pumped in crowd noise for years because their loser midwestern fans only get rowdy if it involves a tractor pulling contest.

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Don’t get me wrong, Brady has a lot on the line here. If we win he’s the greatest quarterback ever. Joe Montana won four, but he only made it four. Brady’s been to six and was a David Tyree catch away from being a five time winner. If he loses he’s still a close #2, but #3 isn’t even in the same ballpark. Winning is all that matters, and Devin McCourty put it best:

“If I have a ring on my finger, not at all,” he said when asked if the perception would bother him. “Not at all. I’ll let ‘em look at the ring.”

Exactly. Just win baby.

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4 Comment(s)
  • joeMomma
    January 30, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    So what are Greggy’s feelings on pumping in fake crowd noise?

  • OnToIndy
    January 30, 2015 at 11:22 am

    As it turns out I have the very unfortunate task of relocating to Indianapolis for work in two weeks, with no for certain return date in sight. I can’t say that I was ever really thrilled of the idea when I found out three months ago, but now, after all of this corny deflategate bullshit…

    But… when I do get there I can honestly say there is a good chance I am going to snap the neck of the first a snicker salad, sugar pie baking, pork tenderloin frying MoFo if the words “soft balls” escapes their lame ass mouth once.

    Their horrible excuse for a media are the group that started this whole thing an honestly, are the ones who kept it ALL going. My better half moved out there in November to get settled in before I arrived therefore was able to witness the shitty behavior from fans and media alike. He still had MASS plates on the truck and was hurled insults by random motorists. Are you frickin kidding me…. was he the ball boy? Was he anywhere near the stadium during the game? Nope… but this is honestly how ignorant these Hoosiers are. Bunch of nerds with terrible hard water acne skin and disgusting taste in cuisine. I hope I survive.

  • Woodiculous
    January 30, 2015 at 6:52 am

    Those are the 47% of losers on the taxpayer test that Mitt Romney was talking about. Now they want a free Super Bowl appearance, too.

    Get back to work. They will want you to pay for their loser team’s plane tickets to get there, too.

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    January 29, 2015 at 11:06 pm

    I love how even Indiana believes Brady and Belichick. That means the only people still crying about this are some assorted white trash from the various cities whose teams we beat every year *cough*BUFFALO*cough*, the Indianapolis media, and the supposed experts at ESPN. Everyone else has stopped giving a shit.

    Also, there’s a petition with 50,000 signatures on it demanding that the NFL strip the Patriots of the AFC championship, and replay the game between the Ravens and the Colts. HOLY SHIT, that might be both the stupidest AND the most butthurt thing I’ve ever seen.

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