City Councillor Mike Gaffney Got The Most Hilarious Voicemail From He Who Shall Not Be Named About Massive Lawsuit, Petition In Front Of Council To Stop Turtleboy
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The People’s Councilor Michael T. Gaffney gets a lot of shit because he’s one of the few elected officials looking out for the people who elected him. Unlike some of the other assbags whose lone political accomplishments seems to be having a dish temporarily named after them at O’Connor’s, he has consistently voted for the lowest residential tax rate, held corrupt institutions (Mosaic) accountable, and had the courage to take on the McGovern Crime Family.
But this comes with a price. He’s been called every name in the book – racist, sexist, hippiephobic, etc. The Turtlegram’s Dianne Williamson seems to have an unhealthy obsession with him, second only to Donald Trump himself. His world class legal services are also advertised on Turtleboy Sports.
And the price he has to pay is getting voicemails like this one, from a failed Mayoral candidate in Fitchburg (whose name is not worthy of mention) who doesn’t like to shovel his walkway and has been working on a massive civil action for the last 8-10 years. Listen to the madness:
It’s like every rant you’ve ever read from the butthurt patrol, except with a voice. The best part is he actually believes the things he’s saying.
“They feel that they can publicly shame people to the point of criminal harassment.”
Yup. Because posting screenshots of dumb things people said is harassment.
“We have 10,000 screenshots, we’ve got all the names. We are seeking a civil action against him, and all those who sponsor them. ”
“They have threatened to violently rape my 15 year old daughter.”
Oh, I see, it’s his daughter now. Got it.
“My niece, rather, my brothers daughter.”
Must’ve missed that blog. I’m sure they’re thrilled to be dragged into this. All I know is, this mystery 15 year old girl never seems to age. Because in every single of these rants she’s always 15. I don’t know what sucks more – never having a birthday, or having an uncle like this.
“We’ve got all these screenshots saved on thumb drives, we just have to copy the thumb drives to the number of people who are gonna be defendants in the lawsuit.”
Well, sounds like we’re fucked. I mean, we’ve overcome a lot of Internet lawsuits before, but no one has ever used a thumb drive. Until now. As soon as they get copies to the non-existent co-defendants we’ll be having a going out of business sale.
“We’re gonna have to change the way we do things around here.”
Sounds serious. VERY serious!!
“I’m gonna bring it to the City Council and we’re gonna talk about it.”
That would be the greatest City Council meeting ever. I would pay any amount of money to see this.
“What they’re doing is deplorable, it’s beyond deplorable, it’s illegal.”
“I know there’s certain police that block this in the courts. I understand the connections, we got em all down, and we’re gonna go around them. When we bring this forward we’re gonna show them the connections they have in the police station and in the courts.”
Corrupt police officer and court officials? Wow. Never heard of this theory before. Very original.
“It has to end. You guys have allowed this to go on.”
Pretty sure the City Council doesn’t allow blogs to exist, but OK.
“You participate yourself. I feel that you’re liable yourself. So you will be receiving a copy of it, whether you’re your own attorney or you hire one, I would like that contact information.”
I’m sure Councilor Gaffney will make a point to get that contact information to him immediately. Definitely.
“My number is 978-790-2059.”
That was smart.
“Ya know, this has gone too far now. They overstepped that line. I got them down for stalking.”
Well, as long as you’ve got them down for it, that’s all that matters.
“They’ve made major mistakes. They just screenshot whatever they want and they don’t realize what’s in the background on their phones.”
“Now I know you’ll tell them and they’ll try to change it, but we already got all the screenshots, and it’s in motion.”
God damnet!! They’re always one step ahead of us!!
“We’ve been waiting for over a year to do this and we’re coming at ya, and it’s gonna be mentioned you’re gonna be exposed like you read about.”
Councilor Gaffney might as well just resign at this point. He’s gonna get destroyed by the Fitchburg Perry Mason.
“This is deplorable. Any man that can stand there and allow this stuff is no man. They’re a jellyfish. They’re a backboneless jellyfish.”
As opposed to jellyfish WITH backbones. Those are the much more noble jellyfish, even though they’re mutants that live next door to Chernobyl.
Anyway, we look forward to the Council meeting where Turtleboy is brought up by a brilliant man who served seven years in prison for killing a guy, has no license, doesn’t pay Worcester taxes, and hitchhiked to get there. Should be epic.
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