Nudniks

Crackhead Mr. Perfect And Ursula Sea Heifer Tossed Kids In Back Of Uhaul Infested With Head Bugs, Bed Bugs, And Fleas

Crackhead Mr. Perfect And Ursula Sea Heifer Tossed Kids In Back Of Uhaul Infested With Head Bugs, Bed Bugs, And Fleas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Holla atcha girl: NorthShoreTurtleBabe@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

You guys… I am SCREAMING. I can’t even, if a white girl could ever even to begin with. Good God, take a gander at this gem that popped on the interwebz out of Ohio:

 

via WHDH: ELYRIA, Ohio (AP) — Authorities say two baby sitters have been charged with putting five children infested with fleas, bedbugs and lice into the back of a U-Haul truck in Ohio.

The Chronicle-Telegram reports 25-year-old Jamie Adkins and 55-year-old Brian Dekam were arrested Wednesday in Elyria after they were spotted loading the children into the U-Haul.

Adkins told police she and Dekam had been caring for the children for several weeks and the children’s mother knew they were being transported in the U-Haul from Cleveland to Elyria. Adkins described herself as the children’s godmother.

The children range in age from 2 to 15. The youngest was hospitalized for heat exhaustion. The other four are now in foster care.

Adkins and Dekam are charged with child endangerment.

Records don’t indicate whether they have attorneys.”

What.in.the.fuck – what kind of people would do something like this?

 

Say no more, fam.

Cracked out WWF Superstar of yesteryear, Mr. Perfect, AKA Brian Dekam and his own personal washed up sea heifer Ursula, AKA Jamie Adkins, both of Elyria, Ohio.

What I find quite perplexing is, who would trust this

with their children for weeks on end?

Shiiiid, NSTB is even worried about the well-being of the dogs in the pic who look like they’re about to be swept away after the waves crashed into the back of that giant, fleshy boulder

 

 

This dynamic duo, who appear to be ripe with the scent of fupa funyuns and cheesy taint, were running a kiddie delivery express from Cleveland to Elyria, which is only about a quick, 40 minute jaunt west

…except when it’s 85 degrees outside (as it was on the day when they decided to hit the bricks) then those “quick” 40 minutes must have been excruciating. No circulation, no ventilation, and FIVE mouths blowing out some steamy and moist co2 in what coulda turned into a 10′ rolling sarcophagus. It’s a fucking wonder no one is dead.

The best part? These are this melted pile of goo’s “God children” and supposedly, the parents KNEW the kids were going to be transported like a beat up leather couch in the back of a Uhaul. But like… where were they going? They couldn’t borrow a car to fit all 5 kids? 3 across the back, with 2 little ones lapping it? I know that’s not ideal, but fuck, it’s safer than throwing ’em all in the back of a $19.95 all-day special Uhaul truck.  Maybe shit just gets done differently in Ohio?

 

I guess it does! Looks like someone just got the roll of Pillsbury Biscuits canine style and decided to document the affair with a selfie once the bun was frosted. Get a load of Triangle Tits McGee rippin’ butts in the background!

I honestly had to scroll past that picture quickly as I am writing this, because this bitch looks like she’s ready to hop through the screen and get her a little North Shore snack. Oof. And remember, this overflowed pudding cup is only 25. TWENTY-FIVE. You usually don’t get that dead look in your eyes ’til you’re at least 40.

 

 

 

Anyway, she has attempted to defend herself on social media, and we allllll know how that goes. She claims the news has added facks to make the story more sensational – like the bugs. ‘Cause yeah, transporting a box truck fulla kiddos across Ohio isn’t sensational enough. The MSM had to add the buggy part to make it more juicy. Right.

 

BITCHES DUNNO ME! I DINDU NUFFIN!

Like yeah, she really looks like the dindunuffin type. And see, I have a theory here – she has been gearing up to get herself turtle famous. I mean, look at this! Thank you, Ursula, sincerely, for this incredible material that you’ve bestowed upon us. We (don’t) love you, too!

 

The other half of this trainwreck, Cracked out Mr. Perfect

The resemblance is uncanny

 

It appears this gummy-jawed nudnik has had his larynx ripped out, likely from rippin’ 3 packs of Basic 100s a day. Notice he has a stoma? that’s the hole they cut in your neck so you can breathe. I wonder if he has one of those voice box thingees, too? Maybe the kids opted to sit in the back of the Uhaul instead of up front so they didn’t have to listen to him yammering on in his Mr. Roboto voice. I dunno.

I know if I only had the two options of sitting up in the cab with his 80s-candy-van-drivin’/lookin’ dude or riding in the box,  I’d have opted for the back, too. Fuck.that.shit.

 

I have no idea what the relation of these two nudniks are, but I’d be interested to find out. Of note, one of the kiddos, the youngest, was hospitalized for heat exhaustion. I hope they’re on the mend soon, and that Ohio’s version of DCF is on the case and neeeeeeeeever allows these idiots, parents included, near them again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

13 Comment(s)
  • Troubled Nostrils
    August 5, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    Fat people ruin everything.

  • msheadkracker
    Ohio ain't claiming these two!
    August 5, 2017 at 1:33 pm

    I’m in Ohio, this is not what we breed, I guarantee this is an out of state transplant, likely Michigan or Indiana, for reals! The inbreeding runs rampant in those two border states, I wouldn’t doubt for a minute they came here for the food stamps, welfare and section 8 JFS hands out like water in a drought, it’s why all the straight-off-the-boat Africans do.

  • Save the Manatees
    August 5, 2017 at 9:58 am

    You people are so mean.

    Marine mammals are protected under federal law, you need to call the marine mammmal rescue at the New England Aquarium and help save these beautiful creatures.

  • C'mon TB... ariba ariba
    August 5, 2017 at 7:56 am

    TB baby!!

    Car “accident” in Chelll…seeeee 3 junkies in the car unresponsive on fentanyl trip, 10 doses of narcan used. Cops also had to be treated. Turned into a hazmat scene, the hazmat they injected into their bodies.

    Saw it on the news came strait to TB, so I could get the non pc version complete with video of the “victims” aka junkie shit bags trying to die. Come on TB you know somebody has a video of this mess.

  • suckittrebek
    August 4, 2017 at 9:12 pm

    This whole country needs a giant douching, its over run with daemons and fat goblins.

  • itsjustme
    Feeling sick
    August 4, 2017 at 7:08 pm

    Gross. You could have at least blurred out that things tit in the background, I just ate dinner. So

  • Mediocrity
    August 4, 2017 at 6:28 pm

    Holy sheep crap! It’s a relative of triggly puff!!

  • whatevuh
    whatevuh
    August 4, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    Sweet Jesus, roll it back into the water !!

  • Sonny's Mom
    August 4, 2017 at 5:58 pm

    “Police say city workers in Elyria, Ohio, were the first to spot the children, ranging in ages from 15 to 2, in the back of the U-Haul while it was parked at a gas station on Wednesday afternoon.
    “Police were called and the worker prevented the couple from leaving the scene….
    “Officials said the kids had fleas, lice, bedbugs and ringworm.
    “They were all placed in foster care, except for the youngest. WOIO reports the 2-year-old child had be hospitalized. There’s been no word on the baby’s condition.”

    Aug 3, 2017 -pittsburgh.cbslocal.com

  • Cooper
    August 4, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    Let’s just take them two outback…

    • whatevuh
      whatevuh
      August 4, 2017 at 7:28 pm

      two = to ?

    • TIG OLE BITTIES
      August 4, 2017 at 7:51 pm

      I fucked her

Leave a Reply to Ohio ain't claiming these two! Cancel reply

*

RELATED POSTS
Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron