Dear Jason Marchand, Please Pay Your Bill At Compass Tavern So These Nice Girls You Conned Don’t Get Stiffed

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Dear Jason Marchand, Please Pay Your Bill At Compass Tavern So These Nice Girls You Conned Don’t Get Stiffed

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We published this blog at 9:30 on Wednesday, asking the public to help identify these two dooshnozzles who stiffed Compass Tavern out of a $143 bill.


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Within 11 minutes we had a bunch of people all messaging the same name:

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Jason Marchand. Check out his Facebook page before he inevitably shuts it down.

As low as this is, I think we can all agree that the real crimes committed here were, 1) grown men drinking $143 worth of Twisted Tea, 2) those God awful “I’m a California hipster who is so chill that I only shave my overgrown chinstrap once a fortnight” things they have on their faces, and 3) a grown man wearing a knit cap indoors. Skipping on the bill can be forgiven if they pay it back and apologize. The other three infractions are simply unforgivable.

As you can see from his profile, Jason is originally from Brimfield, and appears to be around 38-40 years old:

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Which means chances are he graduated from Tantasqua somewhere around 1996. Evidently he moved to San Diego in 2014:

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Because he has meatstick friends that he uses as “body bait” for chicks:

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He moved to San Diego with a “different mentality” in 2014, adhering to the very strict code of “no drugs and no bottle rats.”

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He likes to eat out a lot:

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And he ironically was familiar with the job that these girls were doing, because he had a similar job himself while in San Diego:

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So yea Jason, we highly recommend you get in touch with Compass Tavern. And maybe give us the name of your friend too. That’d be nice. Hate to see you take the fall by yourself.

What’s fucked up about this is that the whole thing sounds premeditated. They ran up an obscene bill for two guys out getting lunch. Then they invite two girls over to eat them, make it look like they’re all together, and then leave under the guise that the girls paid for the meal. That’s some devious shit right there.

And Compass Tavern, we highly recommend you stop wasting your hard earned money advertising in the waste of space known as Pulse Magazine, and advertise with Turtleboy instead. We understand that Paul Giorgio thinks he’s the boss of the Worcester Gay Mafia, and he shows up at your door when you open up and basically strong arms you into running a full page ad in his shitty free magazine that no one ever reads. But you’re probably paying an arm and a leg for that add, and no one is seeing it that isn’t already going to Compass Tavern. You advertise with us and we’ll send crowds your way. We promise your return on investment will be much, much higher. After all, it took us exactly 11 minutes to find this asshat who stiffed you on the check.

But please, tell me more about Turtleboy Sports doesn’t do anything good for the community.


We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

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  1. Mambo

    Compass doesn’t need your shitty services, it’s always full there anyway. You lost sponsors from your previous blog and now you’re begging compass. It’s hilarious.

    1. Mr Butthurt

      and you will always be a cunt

      1. Mambo

        And you will always be butthurt hence mr butthurt

        1. Sasha The Fire Gypsy

          And you will always be in the corner fapping because you have a tiny dick that nobody wants. Unlike Mr. Butthurt.

          1. Mambo

            Jokes on you, my room is a circle. Sure Turtleboy’s room is a circle too, perfect for this circle-jerk

          2. Mr Butthurt

            Your the best Sasha. Any new tricks for me?

          3. Sasha The Fire Gypsy

            Thanks for asking Mr. Butthurt. I am working on a new trick which I’ve just about perfected. I can put a lit cigarette in my va jay jay and blow a smoke ring out my ass when I fart. I’ll show it to you the next time you come over for a sex marathon.

        2. Mr Butthurt

          Its a name I love to use on here for idiots like you who live butthurt each and everyday.

          1. Mambo

            All these flavors and you choose to be salty. Por que?

          2. Turd Burglestein

            We heard you liked salty based on your preference for draining dicks dry in record time.

          3. Mambo

            Why you gotta make it so nasty. Grow up. Talking about dicks and having pictures of shit. Like whats wrong with you. I think you’ll fit in perfectly in Fitchburg with Turtleboy’s best friend Kevin, you guys have the same fetishes.

          4. Turd Burglestein

            If you want to see nasty, post your email address or phone # and I’ll add you to my Turd Of The Day list and you can see my shit before it gets flushed.

          5. Mambo

            Is something wrong with you? I just told you that’s nasty and you ask me if I want to see more/worse. You must be inhaling your own shit or something to get that retarded.

          6. Turd Burglestein

            You must be a fag mambo.

          7. Mambo

            That avatar is exactly how you look like when you smell your shit. You’re nasty as fuck. No wonder you come here. You love the idea of a boy banging a turtle.

          8. Turd Burglestein

            No Mambo, that’s the smile I get when I hear your sphincter bones crack upon the initial entry of my giant turd cock into your back door and see the smile on your face afterwards.

          9. Mambo

            So you’re the fag here then. Thanks for the clarification. No wonder you always talk about putting it in guys asses. Kindly stay the fuck away from me. I heard this guy Kevin in Fitchburg is into the kind of things you do so please pay him a visit.

    2. Juan

      How do you say shut up in Spanish? Oh yeah…SHUT UP…all the hispanics in Worcester speak English and are just here for the welfare.

    3. Mambo Jambo

      And Mambo is always full with the underage customers and staff.

  2. thieves

    Call the cops and make a report. Probably will not do anything, but one never knows. Call the cops in San Diego too, do the same thing. Call where he works too, if he does, but doubt he works. Don’t forget number two loser. Be creative, go after them both.

  3. Publius

    Forty year old dooshnozzles dressing like they are 25. Pathetic. Is Pulse still published? never heard or seen anyone read it. TB talk of all the offices, shops City Hall and Statehouse. Even Clive a regular reader.

  4. Cat Vomit Tango

    Is this the same guy??

    Jason W Marchand ~39
    San Diego, CA

    Address records
    64 Haynes Hill Rd
    Brimfield, MA 01010

    View details
    Single Family

    5 beds 2 baths 2,524 sqft

    PROPERTY RECORDS for 64 Haynes Hill Rd

    Built in 1987Stories: 1Lot size: 5.6 acresExterior material: VinylFloor size: 2,524 sqftStructure type: Cape codRooms: 9Roof type: AsphaltBedrooms: 5Heat type: Forced airBathrooms: 2Basement area: Finished basement, 174 sqft
    Listing info
    Last sold: Jul 1996 for $100
    RESIDENTS RECORDS for 64 Haynes Hill Rd

    Resident Name Phone Information
    Jason Marchand (413) 245-7329
    Robert K Marchard (413) 245-7329
    Status: Homeowner
    Occupation: Construction and Extraction Occupations
    Glee P Marchard (413) 374-6890
    Status: Homeowner
    Occupation: Construction and Extraction Occupations

  5. Twat tickler

    TB, you don’t want advertising from Compass. The owner, David Domenick, is a certified grade A clown dick. He’s the former owner of Sh’booms which closed after a scandal involving replacing top shelf liquor with cheaper product. He’s also the former owner of Bahama Bob’s, who had their liquor license revoked because he said he “sold” it to management who changed the establishment name to “Fifth Amendment” and no onecouldn’t establish who the owners were to the liquor license board. He was later evicted from the location of Bahama Bob’s after he tried to file for bankruptcy as owner, which he originally claimed he wasn’t to the liquor board, and the bankruptcy claims were dismissed in court. He’s also the failed manager of Perfect Game. I went there one time and they completely botched a special occasion we were there for, and after speaking with him he couldn’t have given two shits. Domenick might have a good thing going at the moment with Compass Tavern but with his track record, he’s bound to fuck it up.

    1. Hugh Mongus

      100% correct. As a regular patron at dozens of Worcester’s finest eateries (Smokestack is far and away the best), I have never dealt with such an arrogant, apathetic owner when it comes to customer service. Right around the time they opened, my girlfriend was there with a few friends and they decided to check their coats. At some point during the night her coat was lost or given to the wrong person and when she confronted Dave about it, he pretty much said tough luck, not my problem. Came back the next day and was met with the same lack of empathy and then hid in the back until she left.

      I can almost guarantee that Dave threatened the vodka company and made them pay the bill and now the Vodka company is holding the girls responsible – regardless of the fact that this is an issue between Compass and two of their customers, not the promoters and these two sleazebags.

  6. Paul A

    What a shit bag . And he works as a bartender? Way to go turtle boy

  7. Turd Burglestein

    What a scumbag. I bet this isn’t the first time he’s done shit like this. Hey dickbag…I hope that $143 was worth a lifetime of this story coming up every time a potential employer googles your name. Karma’s a bitch ain’t it?

  8. Hughbo Mont

    Who’s his gay lover?

  9. Jason

    Single Mom, LOL. I looked at her snaggle teeth and bailed. Thanks for the free meal bitch!
    Fuck her…See you in San Diego

  10. LOB

    Jason Marchand – what a POS Loser he is !

  11. Heather (Promo Girl)

    i must say, i have a whole new level of respect for TBS after this situation. You guys helped my friend Lindsay so much and ill definitely be sending lots of free swag to the turtleboy hq! Thank you all so much!

  12. Sheriff BobnMic

    Don’t you worry Turtleboy! BobnMic here to the rescue! I just bought a new pair of handcuffs off Amazon. Thankfully I have prime so they arrived for free in two days.

    They have more of a plastic feel to them but for $2.99 you get what you pay for.

    I’m going to arrest this guy and show him how a tough guy takes care of business. I’m going to put my baton so far up his ass… mmmm… I just felt a throbbing sensation down there… hehehehehehe

    1. BobnMic's Gerbil

      Make sure he doesn’t have any gerbils up in there before you go crazy with that baton. You wouldn’t want to give a poor innocent gerbil a concussion or accidentally break my paw or something.

      1. Officer BobnMic

        Don’t you worry you furry lil’ cutie pie, big bobby is going to take care of you in all the right ways!