• Fall River Convicted Baby Beater Is Out of Jail And Wants You To Have A Ratchtastic Threesome And Ride His Inked Hog



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    You know, the last time I got out of jail for beating my child so bad that he almost died, all I wanted to do was find me someone to hop in to my hoodrat bed, with my future baby momma, and see if we could find another cracked-out gash to join us in a threesome.


    Oh. Wait. That’s not me. It’s Fall River’s Kevin Miguel. A guy who looks like a urinal cake covered in shitty stickers.

    You see, Kevin was arrested a couple years back when his son was injured so badly that he was unresponsive. When the cops showed up he had three outstanding warrants for larceny and they added on the child abuse charge while he was in handcuffs. The child is still suffering the repercussions of it from this day.

    The infant was initially transported Wednesday about 3:30 p.m. to Saint Anne’s Hospital after ambulance crews found him “unresponsive but breathing,” police reports said.

    He was subsequently transported to Hasbro Children’s Hospital in Providence. Police said the infant was in critical but stable condition in the trauma center’s intensive care unit.

    The state Department of Children and Families took custody of the couple’s other child, a 2-year-old boy, police said.

    The father, Kevin Miguel, 22, of 256 Globe St., Apt. 1, was charged and arraigned Thursday with permitting substantial injury to a child, a felony that could result in five years in prison or 2½ years in the House of Correction.
He was being held on $25,000 cash bail or $250,000 surety in the Bristol County House of Correction.

    The infant’s mother, identified as Natasha Caetano, 25, “may be criminally charged in the near future as well,” according to the police report by Detective Lawrence Ferreira.

    Based on evidence, Ferreira said, it is believed the infant “sustained serious life-threatening injuries while in the custody of the father, mother or both, during which time he required emergency medical attention.”

    “It’s an open investigation,” police spokesman Lt. Roger LaFleur said. “Anything that involves an infant is a priority.”

    Police located Miguel sometime Thursday at 310 Alden St. in the Flint area. He was charged on three outstanding warrants for larceny as well as the child abuse offense, LaFleur said.

    Ferreira’s report said the mother left the Globe Street apartment about 2:45 p.m. Wednesday to pick up her father from work in Bristol, R.I., leaving the two boys with Miguel. Ferreira said DCF forbids Miguel from being alone with the children because of “a past incident” involving the older son and “a bad drug test” taken in December.

    At some point, Miguel called Caetano and said their infant son was having trouble breathing. Caetano told Miguel to call 9-1-1.

    Miguel’s father, Jose Miguel, also arrived at the apartment for his daily visit, the report said.

    LaFleur said police became involved about 5 p.m. when the Saint Anne’s medical staff contacted them, and Officer Thomas Barboza spoke with them and with EMTs that transported the infant.

    Rescue workers Tim Oliveira and Nick Silva found the unresponsive infant in the father’s arms and transported him to Saint Anne’s emergency room, police reports said.

    You get that? Forbidden from being alone with children.

    But, beating your kid so badly that they might not survive is obviously just a learning experience. Ashley has it right though. When someone posted the news story on the Fall River page about him being arrested for almost killing his kid it truly does qualify under “There is no such thing as bad publicity.”

    Speaking of job description this seems legit:

    If your back alley tat guy can’t spell “licensed” correctly there is a fair chance he’s probably lying about his being a legit business. He might as well be called Red Flag Infection Starters.

    So, now Kevin is out of jail, has a new bae named Cara Matthews, and is doing unlicensed tattooing and piercings out of his house at 193 Palm St, and he wants to spice things up a little. 

    Oh. That’s hot. No sausage though. He wants to fulfill two women with his tattooed wangsta weenis.

    Can we just take a second to size these two up? They literally have matching his and her face tattoos. What better way to solidify your Facebook engagement then by getting your face drilled on with a dirty needle with the word “faith.”

    I might need to get glasses but does that thing coming off their faces say “ride” and “die?”

    I don’t know about all you Turtlegirls and Turtletwinks out there but I am just salivating at the thought of taking off my shell so these two guttermops to service my loins.

    Actually, now that I think of it, it’s probably just when your mouth starts watering right before you puke. Blech.
    Maybe people should call the board of health. Seems we might have a hazmat situation on our hands for both the tattoos and the sloppy seconds.

    Maybe people should call the board of health. Seems we might have a hazmat situation on our hands for both the tattoos and the sloppy seconds.

     

     

     

     

     

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    South Shore Turtlegirl

    [email protected] Covering the dirty South Shore and Coast. Email me with tips, send me some hate mail, or just say hello!

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    Discussion

    1. ZephyrCat's Tiny Penis


      I’d like to get a tattoo on my johnson too. I’m open for suggestions.

      1. Turd Burglestein


        Anyone interested in some heroin? I just got more shipped in. Get it before the cops break down my door.

    2. ZephyrCat's Tiny Penis


      If they can put your name on a grain of rice, I should at least be able to get my initials tatted on my meat whistle.

    3. Turd Burglestein


      Stop putting my relatives on this goddamned site!

    4. bird


      I fucking hate these people. Put them in camps.

    5. mommysjustjealous


      Everyone please go back and read the comments after the 2015 Letter to Turtleboy from Joe Social Worker. tbsports.wpengine.com/letters-to-turtleboy-dcf-worker-explains-how-overworked-they-are/ . Where have all these intelligent commentators gone? They were one of the best parts of this blog. Now it’s just a few high school boys trying to be as offensive as possible. What the hell happened?

      1. ZephyrCat


        Stop being so pretentious. We’re still here. Read some of the comments. Don’t tell me they’re uninformed. Just trying to have fun too. Childish? Perhaps. But I’m not getting paid for my insights or my humor, so piss off.

        1. ZephyrCat's Tiny Penis


          I have a child sized penis. Well, it’s really more infant sized, but you know how us guys like to exaggerate about our size. We should get a private chat room.

          1. Stfu


            Jesus Christ! Stfu already. Its fucking boring. Your skit is fucking old. Stfu.

        2. TheRealZephyrCat


          Give me a break. I was trying to stick up for all of you commenting for fucks sake! Well, me too but still. He basically called us all morons. I was trying to say otherwise. Maybe he was right.

          1. ZephyrCat's Tiny Penis


            The guy above me is an imposter.

            1. ZephyrCat


              Haha, you’re funny. Obsessed too. BobnMic’s gone so you turn your attention to me. How sweet. You Bob? Someone else? Have fun.

    6. FiestyLawyerLady


      Threesomes are my thing!

      1. Fiesty Turtle Lady


        Still here? Really, you really haven’t given up yet? So fucking pathetic! I can’t believe the comment section is THIS important to you. I also can’t believe that you have allowed myself, a stranger, to bother you so much you just can’t stop stalking me.

        1. ZephyrCat


          I think he’s shitfaced drunk if you ask me. In addition to being disturbed, obsessed and lonely.

        2. ZephyrCat


          Were you this fucking weird and twisted when you were a detective?

    7. HOOOHOOO!


      I bet this gets the Wendy’s owl tat girl moist.

    8. Hanginpossum


      He should have his crime tattooed across his forehead for the safety of the general public

    9. Fitchburg Owl tat girl


      Hey I’m down for this but you have to give me a ride to Maine so I can see my friend the murderer.

    10. Turd Burglestein


      For all we know his kid is one of those creepy brats with an inoperable brain tumor. Those spoiled cancer kids are begging for it! Well, them and chinks.

    11. WHATEVUH


      Awesome, two more trash bags I’ll have support for the rest of their lives, just fucking wonderful

    12. Clouseau


      Those face tats Gonna make it super easy to ID at next crime. Thanks for being a stoopid criminal!

    13. Misty Lockheart


      Does the three way pay? If it does count me in, I’ll settle for a free tat.

    14. Sloppy


      I think you should be ineligible for welfare if you get tattoos all over your face.
      Dumb tattoos are one thing, but the face tattoos really piss me off because I know damn well that:
      a) those fuckheads are never getting a job looking like that
      b) my fucking taxes are gonna pay for them to sit around with no job

      1. Gronkmonster


        Can I get a Tatoo of a bigger penis on my small one?? Maybe just a big shadow of one down the side of my leg??

        1. South Shore Turtlegirl


          Side of the leg would work. Not so much if the lights are off. Maybe it can take on a Peter Pan-like persona and just have a mind of its own to please the ladies.

    15. Inbred city


      Violent psychopaths.

    16. johnnyb


      Why is this scum still horizontal? I thought there was a code in prison. Anyone who messes with anyone who is at a lesser advantage, PAYS for their sins!! To all you prisoners in the RI Big House, Next time…Next time…

      Also>>

      Wait..He wrote “Liscenced” (Cripes,I have to learn the English language over again because of these Fupasloths and these Cement mixers..Took a couple of scrolls to get the License part right) Must have been eating a Snickers bar..”No Regerts!!

    17. 3sides2everystory


      wow there is so much false information in this article, also you are like five years late. we will all go infront of god for the things we do in this world. you better hope neither of these people kill themselves because you could end up in prison- nevermind having that on what little conscience you have left. he was charged with permitting injury because they think he allowed the mother to abuse the child, so why arent you putting that sad excuse for a mother on here as well? her name is natasha caetano she has 4 kids 3 baby daddys and 0 custody lol disgusting. trying to gain likes by posting about an innocent child who is wheelchair bound for the rest of his life is lower than low.

      1. ZephyrCat


        Sounds like a good tip on her. But don’t come across as sticking up for this circus sideshow freak who looks a lifesize walking cock’n’balls. Funny….the you could be charged for murder if theses wangstas decide to kill themselves…horseshit line. No, if anything the author of this story should receive a medal if anybody in the story decided to take a dive off a 5-story building headfirst. The kid isn’t named or shown or dwelled on so you’re wrong there too.

      2. KJDS


        I don’t care who did it. If you know it’s happening, and you don’t stop it, you’re just as guilty.

        And yes, anyone who hurts a child, or by deliberate lack of action allows a child to be hurt, deserves all the shit they get.

        You also have a lack of reading comprehension. This story was not about the innocent child – it was about the total asshat that hurt the child.

        If these people kill themselves, I won’t feel bad, and I sure as hell won’t be liable.

        Fuck off – how can you defend this?

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