• The Gun Parlor

  • Fall River Crack Muppet Selling Her Klonopin On Facebook Has Too Many Buyers And Not Enough Drugs



    Is selling prescription pills on Facebook the new food stamp? Jocelyn Cruz thinks so!

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    I feel like we cover a lot of Fall River and New Bedford. It’s just a rare day when both of these ghetto dens collide. It’s like hitting the Turtleboy geographic lotto.

    I want you all to meet Jocelyn Cruz. I know this isn’t really her last name. She’s “Facebook Married” to a guy named Jose. Jose went to jail for selling the drugs that Jocelyn is addicted to and killed her last bae.


    (Message us if you have her real last name as I’m sure she’s got an awesome arrest record.)

    Now, Jocelyn is apparently notorious for selling food stamps on her Facebook page. She will post that she’s looking to unload some of those fine, free, benefits and then delete the post once she has a buyer. I don’t have those for you today even though its Food Stamp Friday. I do, however, have the next best thing available for sale on Facebook. Drugs! 

    Just in case you’re not really down with the lingo – KPS is short for Klonopin. It’s a Benzodiazepine in the same family a Xanax. It’s a premium snack for heroin addicts and drug bags alike.

    We also pay for those KPS with our tax dollars. But seeing that Jocelyn makes it no secret that she has a substance abuse issue, has lost custody of her kids, can’t seem to be able to keep a stable job, I’m guessing that she’s considered diseased and gets Masshealth. Being high all day is still a disability, right? 

    I shouldn’t be so judgemental. She probably needs the cash for something super important. (Usually it’s more drugs.)

    Now, I’m not sure what I’m more amused with. Jocelyn selling her drugs, Jocelyn tagging friends who usually buy her drugs, or the people who are excited by the drugs and want to them of her hands. Let’s take a look at these fine creatures. I’m sure they are all totally innocent. 

    (Just message Abi, our Desk Girl, if you think you shouldn’t be on this shame list. She will guide you through how to get your name and pictures removed from our website.)

    It’s a cliche ratchet brouhaha!

    Jay Rock is an aspiring white rapper. He likes a deal when he sees one. He knows Jocelyn is hard up for cash so he’s going to barter.

    Next up we have Christopher Jorge. He doesn’t care how much they are but he wants THEM! She’s in his hood and will deliver.

    Alicia Tavares, a cashier at Dollar Tree, seems to be a regular. Ah yes. A PCA and a babysitter. She’s straight out of the “I’m clean” handbook. The only thing she is missing is fire engine red hair. 

    Jocelyn also tagged some of her drug buddies to give them a heads up she was selling. They look like wicked winners too. I love girls who have lube as their cover photo! Not sunsets, children, or flowers. Lube. 

    She looks lucid.

    I wonder what her next cover photo will be? Here are some ideas for when she wants to change…

    Next up we have Tyler Baptiste!

    Tyler has one special thing about him. Aside from his daunting job at “Gettin Money” he also likes fishing and the Chicago Bulls.

    Such a innocent group of misunderstood young folk. Maybe they needed the Kpins to stop anxiety attacks? Doubtful. Chances are if you’re buying or selling drugs on social media you’re pond scum and should have to fight for survival on Ratchet Island.

    South Shore Turtlegirl

    [email protected] Covering the dirty South Shorw and South Coast. Email me with tips, send me some hate mail, or just say hello!

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    Discussion

    1. Michael Hutson


      i think that show”America’s Dumbest Criminals” is overdue for a comeback!

    2. The Vorlon


      Love Lube Girls eyeliner.

      Most of the ‘Southcoast’ would be good grounds for a Neutron Bomb test.

      Just saying…

    3. Streetsweeper


      If only some enterprising pharmacist would cut these wastrels’ pills with arsenic, society would be a lot better off.

    4. does it matter


      The KY killed me… fucking. Lube.

    5. Oh man


      Look at her Facebook page the pronunciation looks like Murrey “mug-REE” I think it said. That’s probably her real last name.

      1. Loome


        her real last name is Ridge.

    6. Turd Burglestein


      In some of those pics up at top, she has a strong resemblance to the gutter muppet.

    7. John P George King of RI !!!


      Jill Donahue looks like she’s down for some anal, ass play, butt sex, back door pile driver, reverse cowgirl colon massage…. ooooh yeah… dirty Jill got the backdoor booty and she knows it.

    8. Murt Burful


      3 things:
      1-face painted and curly haired Alicia with those push up bra titties over dollar tree Alicia
      2-smack face blondie does not have a need for plan b (although it was a nice touch) because she takes every load up that big ole ass of hers. She needs an std test first
      3-would, all 3 but smack face blondie needs to pass that std test first with flying colors

    9. Queef Richards


      Tyler baptiste flat-brimmed piece of shit is a poacher too. No way that striper is 28 inches.

    10. Horn Dog


      I could spend an entire weekend banging the blonde with the weird eye makeup. Nothing but room service, sex and a little sleep, no drugs so she would never go for it and that hurts my feelings, where is my ebt and social security $$$$ for hurt-feelings!!

    11. Nina


      I really think who ever writes these are fuckin genius!!! Literally the shit im thinking

    12. jilldonahuefanclubpresident


      Can we have a blog for Jill Donahue’s ass her ass deserves it’s own blog.

      Jilly baby if your listening pls get a webcam and make your own ppv site safer and more legal than hooking, I would sign up. You would make bank with that beautiful booty.

    13. Jg


      She recently robbed me of my laptop, jewelry, meds and over $500. She claims to be clean but she isn’t. She makes me sick. Biggest liar I’ve ever met

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