Hoodrat Heroes

Falmouth Fupacho Grande Goes Full Queefnado On Dude In MAGA Hat

 

Click on the hat to get your MIGA Turtleboy 2020 hat today!

Some poor guy in Falmouth went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant the other day and he decided to wear his red MAGA hat out, not realizing there was a wild Avalardo who wasn’t going to allow him to eat his meal in peace.

I don’t care what side of the aisle you’re on – this has been the longest two years of everyone’s life. Every day is a roller coaster ride. This one man has driven people like Casa de Queefa completely insane.

I’ve never been a fan of Donald Trump. Everyone who’s been reading me over the years knows that. I would prefer if he wasn’t President, and I don’t really feel like arguing about it because life is too short. Bite me if you don’t like it. With that said, if you cannot walk into a Mexican restaurant and eat your bean burrito without attacking a random person you don’t know because he’s wearing a Goddamn hate with 4 words on it, which in and of themselves are not offensive, then you should just stay at home in your rocking chair and chant “not my President” to yourself over and over again like Hillary does.

Here’s my question – does anyone even notice the lettering or words on these hats? If you replaced them with other words, but the same color scheme, would it evoke the same visceral reaction? Like, if the hat said, “Make Pocahontas President 2020” would anyone even read it? I doubt it, but let’s find out. These hats are now available in the Turtleboy Store by clicking here

Anyway, El Feenyo’s name is Rosiane Santos of East Falmouth, and she ended up getting charged with disorderly conduct, simple A&B, and thrown in the drunk tank.

But from this point on she will forever be known as the Falmouth Fupacho Grande.

Thank God she was PC’d. Can you imagine sharing a cell with her after she just housed down four enchiladas? We’re gonna need a bigger plunger. Just sayin.

Young Bryton’s Facebook post has garnered a lot of attention, particularly in the light of the Jussie Smollett hate crime hoax. And not all of it is good attention……

Oh man, I forgot my “bring back patriarchy” hat at home. And my favorite part of world history was when holocaust survivors stuck around East Germany after the war and got traumatized by the Berlin Wall which was built 16 years after the war ended.

This hat is the same thing as wearing a swastika hat to a gypsy parade.

Because it might cause PTSD.

I’ll tell you what would give me PTSD – looking through her wedding album.

And it’s up to the guy in the hat to take his hat off because he’s traumatizing other people. It’s not their job to stop being easily triggered twatwaffles because they saw a hat with words on it. Everyone else has to cater to YOUR insanity.

Then there was Alyson with a Y. And when your parents add random Y’s where i’s are supposed to go, it means they want you to become a stripper. Unfortunately that wasn’t in the cards for her.

Maybe the Foxy Lady daytime shift. Here’s what she had to say.

Oh look, another basic white chick here to lecture us all on what the day to day experiences of minorities are. Evidently all black people get randomly assaulted by gestation gyros every time they go out to eat.

I was actually watching this on the news tonight and the bartender was Mexican. They interviewed him and he was laid back and said he didn’t give a shit. Because it’s a freaking HAT!! The hat was red, but the money the customer was paying was green. Turns out Mexicans are kind of like regular people. They just wanna make money and pay their bills and don’t need dumbass white people to protect them and treat them like porcelain dolls.

Then there was the “he was asking for it” crew.

Just like women who wear short skirts were asking to get raped, right Alyssa? That’s how it works doesn’t it? People wear certain clothing which inadvertently causes criminal behavior, and when it does it’s the fault of the person wearing the clothing since the offender’s bodily functions are outside of their control.

Do you people want more Trump? Because this is how you get it. He’s only in power because of people like YOU. These MAGA people find him appealing because he pisses YOU off, since everyone generally hates you. They figure if you don’t like him then he must be doing something right. So if you actually want some sort of return to normalcy, try acting normal. Or just keep doing what you’re doing and we can all have the longest 8 years of our lives together. Oy-vey.

 

 

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:




Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 

 

61 Comment(s)
  • Deep Thots by Jack Handey
    February 25, 2019 at 11:41 pm

    A threesome with Alyson and Fupachica might be interesting.
    I’m betting Alyson would eat the other one’s taco to atone for her white privilege.

  • GOP
    February 23, 2019 at 8:36 am

    Trump vs Clinton in 2016:

    I more voted against Clinton, than for Trump, and I’m a registered Republican. There is just no way I could vote for the Butcher of Benghazi, despite her having much more political experience than Trump. Four good Americans are dead because of the Butcher of Benghazi, and that does not include Vince Foster (google him, whitewater and Clinton if you don’t know what I’m referring to).

    Trump 2020
    MAGA
    Death to Arabs/Muslims/Non-Christians!

  • Kim Un Jong
    February 23, 2019 at 2:10 am

    I didn’t make it past “your the ignoramus” lol

  • Phaka
    February 22, 2019 at 10:37 pm

    I can’t lie. I like the whore look. Big tits, lots of make up, fake (sexy) nails, dyed hair, yup love it all. With that said, id buy a maga hat just for her to wear when i fuck her. She reminds of a latina i used to bone. Picked me up one night, she was driving, took a few beers for the ride and she was tossing back heinekens on the lynnway, chucking out the emptys. This chick is a definite load receiver. Bryton missed out on some latina mild pussy.

  • The angry taint
    February 22, 2019 at 5:07 pm

    She has 3 felonious A&B’s on buffets too

    • Captain Trips
      February 22, 2019 at 6:52 pm

      Stop and Shop delivers her Peapod orders with a forklift

  • mike
    February 22, 2019 at 4:01 pm

    The Nazis built the Berlin wall.

    Hmm I didn’t know that. Thanks Fupacho Grande!

  • Y
    February 22, 2019 at 1:34 pm

  • Randall Guy
    February 22, 2019 at 12:53 pm

    Well the little boy got the attention he wanted.

    What a snowflake.

  • JJ
    February 22, 2019 at 11:47 am

    Why is no one talking about how far her little titties are pushed up. Looks like she has 3 push up bras on. Fucking tit neck over there. For fuck sake that’s a crime in it self. And that ass, that ass is just sooo, gross. I bet she has to shit in a tub. How the fuck do you fit an ass like that on a toilet seat..

    Why do so many ppl hate trump? Honestly wtf has he done that has been so bad? I genuinely want to know. Aside from the typical orange man bad, you’re a racist because I have no argument, you’re a nazi because facts hurt my feelings. I really want to know. Please tell me what he has done that is so bad. Educate me with facts and point out what he has done that makes him such a horrible person.

    Why was it ok for blacks to make music videos celebrating the fact they had obumma? Why was it ok for blacks to run around and act a fool for 8 years?
    Why was it ok for blacks to be racist to white people during those 8 years. Why was all of that ok? Why is it racist when a white calls a black an n bomb but it’s not racist if a black calls a white a honkey, cracker etc? Why is it ok for blacks to call each other n bomb & use it as a run on word in their music. Why is it ok for wiggers to call blacks and whites my n bomb? Why is that all ok? White people were harassed and terrorized for 8 years, along with Spanish people under obummas rule. Why was all of that ok but a MAGA hat is not?

    Stop drinking tap water, I think the fluoride & chloramine has done something to all of your brains.
    People are so brainwashed it’s sad.

    Democrats only want to keep blacks & Spanish uneducated, dependent on government aid, poor & in jail. The real racists are the Democrats!

    How does one load a video to the site? There is a video ide like to share of some extreamly racist Democrats to prove my point. I tried to cut and paste a link a few months back for a different video. It did not work.

    • Let me up, I've had enough
      February 22, 2019 at 12:43 pm

      JJ – You are absolutely 100% right on all counts. The only reason that people don’t like Trump is because the Democrats thought Hillary was a shoo-in for President and now they are all throwing the temper tantrum from hell. Truth is, this is EXACTLY why Trump will win again. These nutjob wacko lefty liberal Democrats are ALL mentally incapacitated in some way or another. Democrats wants nothing more than to keep the minorities poor and uneducated and keep them in their back pocket for votes to keep them in office. Fuck em all. Sop all the handouts – both within the USA and the world. I am behind my President. He is running the country like a company. Get in line or get the fuck out.

      • Y
        February 22, 2019 at 6:36 pm

        Everyone loved Trump till he became the Republican candidate. He was sung about and featured in rap videos/TV shows/movies, was friends with Democrats, etc.
        They hate him because he’s trying to get America out of the swamp and away from a one world order.
        He’s a Patriot.

  • Gabriel Ascher
    February 22, 2019 at 10:14 am

    Falmouth in the news a lot lately with stories about SJW’s, since when did it become Cambridge with sand?

    • ...
      February 22, 2019 at 10:42 am

      My some Holden dude’s got a 2nd home there?

  • Old Tom Morris
    February 22, 2019 at 9:58 am

    SSTGIRL = LIBTARD.

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      February 22, 2019 at 12:06 pm

      Well, if she voted for Hillary, then you’re right. I wasn’t a big Trump fan, but no way in hell we’d fare well if she became president and I had no problem voting for Donald.

  • Walking Contradictions
    February 22, 2019 at 9:38 am

    Anyone think it’s weird that a guy who wants to build a wall between the US and Mexico, is super eager to hand over his cash to eat their food?

    I wonder if he realizes their delicious food arrived in his mouth by means of immigration and under the table migrant farming?

    • Gronk
      February 22, 2019 at 12:06 pm

      Or..it was grown in this country and the owner of the restaurant is a rich white gut that owns a chain of restaraunts… Just as possible as the scenario you tried painting… Right? Could be the food has never seen a Mexican at all….

      • Take a few more hits to the head Gronk
        February 22, 2019 at 12:13 pm

        Oh Gronk,

        I’m gonna speak real slow now so you can understand.

        The food WAS likely grown in the US … what I said was that it was framed by the hands of undocumented migrant workers … which is true of the majority of US farms … in other words rich white guys paying undocumented people under the table, and them voting for a wall to keep them out.

        Ok again … see if you can keep up.

        Here is the second point. Regardless of the heritage of the establishment owner … the fact Mexican restaurants exists at all in this country is a DIRECT result of immigration.

        Cool. Now that we have that straight maybe you can bitch about how the president who wants to build a wall, is the same dude who hires illegals at his golf courses and gives them a reason to come here in the first place.

        • Gronk
          February 22, 2019 at 1:29 pm

          Ohhhh I understood you ridiculous statement. And the more I look at it, the more foolish you look. You obviously hate Trump and will tie anything you can into it. Fact is.v it seems to be only Anti Trumps like Yourself that act with violence. The food on that restaurant is no more “framed” the food food at Taco Bell…. Go back to following Liz Warren abd Bernie….

        • Y
          February 22, 2019 at 1:32 pm

          Legal immigration is what we want. What is so hard to understand?

          • ...
            February 22, 2019 at 2:10 pm

            Cool cool … so we agree.

            In which case we should be all up in arms at rich white men (on both sides of the aisle) who hire them under the table.

            I mean if no job opportunities existed, they wouldn’t come.

  • Viva la Raza
    February 22, 2019 at 9:15 am

    Why wear a MAGA hat to a Mexican restaurant? #1 your food will get spit on! But hey he knew what he was doing.

    • TheCureForHope
      February 23, 2019 at 2:34 pm

      So, are you saying we should self-sensor and cringe in terror at these crazy libturds?

      Maybe we should adopt their boldness, mob tactics, and yelling ‘racism’ when they can’t defend their viewpoint?

      SMH

  • Allyson’s Right (or is it Left?)
    February 22, 2019 at 8:54 am

    I nearly drowned when I was 7. Now swimming pools give me PTSD. We should ban all swimming pools and if you don’t remove yours you are an insensitive hate mongerer. Let’s get rid of all ponds and lakes, too. I can hardly drive anywhere around here without being triggered, and that’s society’s fault and Trump’s fault. Not mine!
    /s

    • Kim Un Jong
      February 23, 2019 at 2:12 am

      PTSD from that wedding photo is real

  • GAS MASK STAT
    February 22, 2019 at 8:37 am

    And yet she feels entitled to pass toxic bean gas whenever, well pretty much constantly , I know that woman she is a walking sewage station, nobody smells more foul…

  • Goya bitch
    February 22, 2019 at 8:10 am

    You know this man is a gentleman and was raised right, because he kept his hands to himself. And this cow is very lucky for that. I can guarantee that a lot of men would have flipped out when she pushed his hat down. She is so lucky he didn’t smash her in the face, this fat bitch assaulted him. Build that wall and throw her fat Goya ass over it.

  • Spicola
    February 22, 2019 at 7:57 am

    This woman needs her ass kicked. And I will put money on it that it will happen very soon

  • Leigha Gendoso
    February 22, 2019 at 7:23 am

    Notice how all the FB commenters are women? They’ll probably walk proudly back to their slum knowing they educated someone that day. I love how they act like every minority, etc. is their little pet project to defend and save from the toils of American life. They need to get out more.

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    February 22, 2019 at 7:04 am

    Her side is on fox 25 this morning ( of course) Bruton declined comment. She says “I’ve been bullied all my life”… Didn’t see him bullying her, did see him sitting there taking it. Who is the bully?

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    February 22, 2019 at 6:34 am

    She has nothing going for her, She screwed up some liquid courage and decided to play hero. Ok wearing the hat wasnt the smartest thing to do, But why is it, the anti Trumpers are always the ones with the aggression? the guy just sat there, Now this woman?/beast? got to spend some time in a cell. Meanwhile the guy enjoyed not only his dinner, but watching her get hauled out. She is one of the thousands that give people the reason to say “Build the wall” at least once a day. Wonder what ype of day shes going to have at work today. That right there is what we used to call a “Blouser” a loudmouth pig.

  • Best TBS punch line yet
    February 22, 2019 at 6:26 am

    I spit out my mother fucking coffee after reading

    I’ll tell you what would give me PTSD – looking through her wedding album.

    then scrolling down to see the picture of Sephanie Simpson and her Pudding Plugger

    Keep doing the Lords work TBS we love you.

  • Washashore
    February 22, 2019 at 6:20 am

    The restaurants name is Casa Vallarta” in East Falmouth, “”#3 shit hole town on the Cape. The food is very good, the mixed drinks (other than a margarita) suck…

  • Dick LaBone
    February 22, 2019 at 6:09 am

    Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t wear my “I made Linda Lovelace gag” T shirt to the church supper…

  • Old Man
    February 22, 2019 at 5:51 am

    Where can American’s donate to the wall? i expect that might pay for a few miles. Dig deep…

  • Farting in your general direction
    February 22, 2019 at 3:35 am

    The left in this country is beyond nuts. It’s impossible to take anything that comes out of a leftists mouth seriously. In fact it’s getting harder and harder to stop myself from bursting out into uncontrollable laughter these days. That being said I have a dear friend, gay married couple, and they both walk around together wearing Maga hats and the woke patrol probably blows a few thousand brain cells just seeing it and knowing that they can’t make a scene because they fit it into one of the special leftists ‘oppression’ categories.

  • Austin Powers Quote
    February 22, 2019 at 12:23 am

    That’s a man baby
    Y help me out

    • Y
      February 22, 2019 at 11:23 am

      • At Caramba
        February 22, 2019 at 11:30 am

        Thanks
        You da man

  • El Presidente Jr
    February 22, 2019 at 12:21 am

    Trump is doing what needs to be done and people hate him for it. It’s certainly not his fault for how the ignorant are acting. It’s their fault and those who pander to them. By the way you put “hate” instead of hat in your story. Was that a mistake or how you feel coming out ? When did TBS become so liberal? Sounded more like a Barstool story

  • Milf Assessor
    February 21, 2019 at 11:05 pm

    I love wearing my maga hat around …first one to knock it off will suffer badly.

    Maga

    • Randall Guy
      February 22, 2019 at 12:55 pm

      Todays internet tough guy award goes to…

  • z
    February 21, 2019 at 10:58 pm

    Want another #OrangeManBad?

    the reason web site

    Headline

    Trump Is Continuing Obama’s Opposition to Other Countries’ Anti-Gay Laws. This, Somehow, Has LGBT Leaders Angry
    President George W. Bush was once attacked by the same people for rejecting the very same policy.

    Want the short story?

    An even stranger response came from the gay magazine Out, which gave space to a writer who attempts to argue that the whole plan smacks of some sort of white colonialism coming from Western countries because the targets are in the Middle East, Africa, and the Caribbean. The headline of Matthew Rodriguez’s piece is “Trump’s Plan to Decriminalize Homosexuality Is an Old Racist Tactic.”

    Fuck you all to hell.

  • Y
    February 21, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    #Trump2020 #MAGA

  • Ozzy
    February 21, 2019 at 10:22 pm

    Haters going to hate!!! Hilary sucked Monica swallowed.

  • H
    February 21, 2019 at 10:20 pm

    If you’re wondering why the proud, Trump supporting Coast Guard HERO was planning a mass extermination and racial cleansing, this is it. He was absolutely ready to Make America Great Again.

    • Terrorist or Thought Crimes
      February 22, 2019 at 5:13 am

      Than Omar Muslim Congresswoman from Minnesota argue for leniencey on this man’s behalf as she did for the Somali “Americans” joining isis.

    • ...
      February 22, 2019 at 9:41 am

      The REAL US military kicked the shit of those wishing to exterminate entire races … literally had a war about it. You lost.

  • MAGA
    February 21, 2019 at 10:17 pm

    Rape the bitch, send her back to Mexico and BUILD THE WALL!!! I know this kid, proud white and trust me, if the trash slut was black they’d be mopping her brain matter off the floor right now. #MAGA

  • Timothy Maynard
    February 21, 2019 at 10:08 pm

    MAGA.

    President Donald J. Trump is the Man, Commie swine, bow down to Trump and thank him for saving this country.

  • WeRFuked
    February 21, 2019 at 9:57 pm

    I imagine Alyssa Dunn may have a bigger penis than me by the way she looks.

    I would not walk into a Mexican restaurant wearing that hat. I think that is indeed stupid. But nobody should be knocking it off him either. How about you look at him, say to yourself “what a douche bag” and continue walking by.

    I understand why any Mexican would find that hat insulting. I don’t want to insult anyone. This chump knew exactly what he was doing. I hope someone spit (or worse) in his burrito.

    • Timothy Maynard
      February 21, 2019 at 10:10 pm

      Fuck Mexico and your donkey bestiality show.

  • Fat Fupa Flake
    February 21, 2019 at 9:54 pm

    Fat cunt. Once again the guy with the MAGA hat was the only one who acted rational. She ‘s lucky she didn’t fuck with one of the local rednecks named Cooter and yank off his camo MAGA hat.
    These people need some serious sensitivity training and anger management classes before they get themselves justifiably hurt.
    Truly pathetic.

    • The Triggering Is Real (Funny)
      February 22, 2019 at 6:20 am

      I have a camo MAGA hat.
      It has triggering powers that sometimes exceed the red version which I’m guessing has to do with them not recognizing it for the fine piece of expressive headgear that it is until they are generally in a closer proximity to the patriot wearing it.
      It worked great in a certain mall that was over a bridge and beyond a canal, on a finger of land known for great dysfunction and raging entitlement. No one dared to say anything (because they are definitely liberal pussies that have no intestinal fortitude until they gather in very large groups) but the looks were absolutely fucking priceless.
      If looks could kill, I would have died a hundred agonized deaths. Fortunately for me, they only tickle the funny bone, lol.
      God Bless America. It will be made great again, despite the best efforts of the worst of humanity.

  • z
    February 21, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    Do you people want more Trump? Because this is how you get it. He’s only in power because of people like YOU. These MAGA people find him appealing because he pisses YOU off, since everyone generally hates you. They figure if you don’t like him then he must be doing something right. So if you actually want some sort of return to normalcy, try acting normal. Or just keep doing what you’re doing and we can all have the longest 8 years of our lives together. Oy-vey.

    Of course. The guys a tool, but dammit he’s our tool.
    Warren just said she’s open to giving reparations to blacks because of slavery.
    Keep up the good pandering Liz.
    I love gridlock and the fact that the scab has been picked at in Washington.

    Every fucking president for the better part of forever has talked about border security.
    Because this guy might actually do it, you see the true face of the beltway.
    R + Ds joining hands. National Emergency??? He can’t do that!!!
    There’s currently 31 outstanding National Emergencies out there. Going back 30-40 years.
    A president back then didn’t go to Congress. But, this time, this time it’s different, because
    #OrangeManBad.

    Trump suggests we bring the troops home. Same joining of hands. If we leave now, it will look bad. Endless war. That’s what they want. Endless war is profitable. Fucking WWII wasn’t this long.

    If Trump was smart he’d lobby for the draft. Men and women. The reason we have endless war is because “They” volunteered so who the fucks cares if we’ve been doing nation building for 15-20+ years with no results. If “They” die well they picked that as a job. Sucks to be them. A draft would focus the mind of people. You mean my little Becky might be put on the front line in AssHumpwa Afghanistan? Yup and her brother Billy in a couple of years. Be happy citizen!!!

    The Rs + Ds say “But think about the defense plants in my state or congressional district!!!”

    You here legally? Yeah? Great!.
    No?, get the fuck out. And I don’t care if you’re some paddy from Ireland, a Pollock from Poland, Germany or Lebanon. I mention those because those are the predominant countries of me and most of my relatives. Other then some kind of supposed affinity you are nothing to me if here illegally.

    Let it fucking burn.

  • Land Of Misfits Libs
    February 21, 2019 at 9:33 pm

    I read about this on The Gateway Pundit also. This seemed somewhat innocent but the other things that have happened like in Kentucky is going to get some killed. This shit needs to end or some mild mannered conservative is finally going to say fuck it when they get assaulted and seriously injure or kill one of these retards.

  • Wade Boggs Taint
    February 21, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    I can’t tell if that couple are incest or Downs Syndrome babies

    • snoop pig
      February 21, 2019 at 9:59 pm

      The last two swipes in all of Tinder.

    • Stroke Me Stroke Me
      February 22, 2019 at 5:24 am

      Yep… Democrats and Leftists… we dodged a bullet.

      • Y
        February 22, 2019 at 1:28 pm

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It