All-Star Criminals

Feministos, Race Baiters Fired Up About All White Alabama Sorority Softcore Porn Recruitment Video

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Feministos and race baiters are uniting across the country to bash this sorority recruitment video from the University of Alabama, which features some of the most insanely gorgeous women, all of which are white:

See that right there? This is why Abraham Lincoln fought so hard to keep a bunch of redneck states in the Union. That video right there. Yea, sorry, that’s not a sorority recruitment video – it’s softcore porn. Tell me how any straight man can possibly watch this and not have your mind consumed with sex. All over the country husbands are sitting in dark rooms, waiting for their wives to fall asleep. That’ just a scientific fact. I mean, do you understand how many award winning movies began like this?

Screen-Shot-2015-08-16-at-7.23.26-AM

Like, half.

Look, when I first saw this video, which has now been viewed over half a million times despite the sorority taking it down, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I hated it and loved it at the same time. It’s one of the most mesmerizing videos I’ve ever seen. But the only offensive part about it was the music. What the fuck was that all about?

Here’s the thing though – this is Ala-fucking-Bama. A school that Forrest Gump had to be integrate at gunpoint. I mean, maybe, just fucking MAYBE give a bid to a sister once in a while? Or two or three? Maybe toss an Asian girl in there with a couple Cubans. It’s just a much, much better look considering this sorority is in Ala-fucking-Bama. I mean, it’s a state with a lot of black people and the only black guy in it is the football player, who clearly is banging all of them.

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And I’m sorry but the feministos have a point here. If you’re a heavy hitter in Tuscaloosa and you watch this video, you would NEVER in a million years think that you had any shot at getting a bid. Ever. Like, it’s impossible. Because there are at least 100 babes in that video and every single one of them is a knockout junior smokeshow extraordinaire. And with the bidding process, you don’t get a written explanation as to why you were rejected. But if you’re a heavy hitter, you know exactly why you didn’t get in. And that’s pretty fucked up because bigger people have feelings too.

Look, they’re a private institution, but they’re really not. The bottom line is they live in a house that the publicly funded school owns. And you don’t have to be a genius to read between the lines here. Only hot white, preferably blonde babes need apply.

Last thing I’ll say is this – sorority’s are the stupidest fucking institutions that ever existed. They serve absolutely no purpose. Sororities are not allowed to have parties. They are gigantic dens for petty 19 year olds who like drama, yoga pants, head bands, and acting fake 24/7. That’s it.

Fraternities have a purpose – they’re for guys who find it too challenging to pick up girls at bars. When you’re in a frat, freshmen girls haven’t been on campus long enough to realize that frats aren’t that cool. Every year you get older, but the girls you’re hanging out with stay the same age. All you gotta do is suck it up and be someone’s bitch for a semester, and the rest of your years you get to destroy your house and have it cleaned up by a bunch of slaves pledges. It serves a purpose to be in a frat.

P.S. Every major TV network in this country is guilty of doing the EXACT same thing, which is why it’s so hypocritical that the media made a big deal out of this. And no one is worse than Fox News. To debate this video they brought on three women, who would undoubtably not have their jobs if they gained 15 pounds.

My point exactly.

Screen-Shot-2015-08-17-at-11.50.15-AMScreen Shot 2015-08-17 at 11.43.23 PM

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11 Comment(s)
  • RSoxGuy
    August 18, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    God has obviously blessed ‘Bama.

  • thibby
    August 18, 2015 at 1:04 pm

    all white girls, all black girls, all girls of any race. if there hot like that, bring it on . Bear Bryant got a woody . go bama……….

  • Publius
    August 18, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    University of Alabama rated #88 in US News, UMASS #76, pretty darn close. Hmm, attend a ugly dumpy school in cold climates with a culture of severe political correctness or attend a beautiful school, with attractive people and warm weather…not really a toss up at all. Roll Tide !

  • BobnMic
    August 18, 2015 at 11:59 am

    https://youtu.be/vqonFv4oIhM

    COB if you need a backup with this flock of beauties I hereby volunteer my services!

  • Z
    August 18, 2015 at 10:10 am

    This video makes me question a number of decisions I have made over the last few years of my life. The most notable of those decisions:

    1. Why did I not opt to attend an SEC school? (Sports, parties, sorority girls)

    2. Why did I choose to miss out on the last Barstool event in Worcester?

    I’m just going to ponder all of the questionable decisions I have made in the past for the rest of today.

  • anon
    August 18, 2015 at 8:55 am

    It’s called FREEDOM OF ASSOCIATION YOU TURTLEPRICK

    #BLONDELIVES MATTER

  • The Philistine
    August 18, 2015 at 8:22 am

    Big Al needs a blue pill for that trunk of his.

  • Chris From Georgia
    August 18, 2015 at 7:52 am

    You guys up north can just eat your hearts out!!!! If I were a young man I’d seriously consider attending the University of Alabama!!! Roll Tide!!!

  • Adam
    August 18, 2015 at 7:33 am

    Problem is they are having the wrong kind of fun. They should be out protesting the patriarchy or demanding free birth control. Instead they are “dancing” and “making friends” and other socially unacceptable activities. Kind of funny nobody mentions that their collective GPA is higher than the all school and all female average, and the thousands of philanthropy hours they perform as a house. These stupid white chicks ought to know better then to have a good time and create life long relationships while looking feminine.

    PS – This is what heaven looks like for 95% of all men, assuming that 5% of men are gay.

  • strata
    August 18, 2015 at 7:31 am

    I love it …. the inner city youth killing inner city youth isn’t as much a problem …. but this Sorority video !!!!! Que the manufactured outrage !!!!!!! LOL let the idiots have at it

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    August 18, 2015 at 12:10 am

    Something tells me that diversity for this sorority is to have a token redhead.

    #GingerLivesMatter

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