• Follow Turtleboy on Facebook

  • Fitchburg Chick Will Smoke You Up And Buy You Subway If You Give Her And Her Boyfriend A Ride To Visit Her Murderer Friend In A Maine Prison

    Fitchburg Chick Will Smoke You Up And Buy You Subway If You Give Her And Her Boyfriend A Ride To Visit Her Murderer Friend In A Maine Prison

    4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

    Our Facebook page is suspended again, so make sure you to LIKE THE LOST BOYS OF TURTLE Facebook page to keep up with our latest blogs.
    Our Facebook page is suspended again, so make sure you to LIKE THE LOST BOYS OF TURTLE Facebook page to keep up with our latest blogs.





    FYI, this is never a good idea:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.06.13 PM

    Hey guys, is anyone out there looking to take a 3 hour bone ride with me during rush hour traffic on Friday up 495 north so we can visit my friend in prison?

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 9.59.55 PM


    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 9.59.27 PM

    Pretty please?

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 9.59.40 PM

    Seems like it would be one hell of a bone ride:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.18.06 PM

    Just a quick heads up. Marijuana is technically legal. But soliciting strangers from Fitchburg with free weed is never a good idea. The type of person who would look at this and say, “Fuck it, I’ll go,” is probably the kind of person who’s gonna take a wrong turn somewhere and end up where no one can hear you scream. Ya know, because normal people don’t have 10 hours to kill on a Friday to drive some goth chick on Facebook to a prison in Maine. Just sayin.

    Anyway, what’s her friend Tia Ludwick doing in a prison in Maine?

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.02.35 PMScreen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.02.05 PM

    Oh good, she’s going to visit her friend who robbed and murdered a meth dealer. Joy. She seems like a real peach too.

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 9.57.27 PM

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 9.57.36 PM

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 9.58.08 PM

    She seems nice.

    My question is, what do you talk about with this stranger broad for three hours?

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 9.59.18 PM

    So……..you like tattoos? I thought about getting a tattoo once if the Red Sox won the World Series. But I ended up chickening out because realistically I just never saw that happening. 

    Ummmmmm…..where did you go to high school?

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.00.00 PM

    “Oh good. You went to ALL of the high schools. That’s normal. Do you have any good emo CD’s we can listen to, or shall we listen to sports talk radio? What do you prefer, Felger or Dale and Holley? Do you think the Pats should trade Jimmy G? Is Isaiah Thomas a top 10 player? What do you think the biggest concern for the Red Sox is heading into spring training? What do you think of the Bruins trade deadline acquisition?”

    So many things to discuss. So little time. I’m sure that three hour ride will fly by.

    Anyway, as you can see, this chick can’t weight more than 90 pounds.

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 9.59.34 PM

    Which kind of makes you wonder, is she insane? This might be the most dangerous thing I’ve ever heard. Which then kind of makes me think, maybe she’s the insane one, and I should be worried for the guy who volunteers to drive her. I mean, she is visiting a good friend who’s in prison for murder, so, ya know. Birds of a feather. Plus the second you bring up her murdering friend this happens:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.01.58 PMScreen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.00.55 PMScreen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.01.46 PM

    Yea, so if you do give this chick a ride on Friday, icksnay on the urdermay.

    Here’s a question – why not just take the bus or a train?

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.18.15 PM

    Oh I see. It’s inconvenient waking up early. Better solicit a ride from a complete stranger and entice them with marijuana. That sounds like a much smarter thing to do. Don’t think she’s gonna be getting a ride from this guy:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.07.02 PM


    Well, as this thread went on, and on, and on (over 500 comments and counting), Tiara must’ve finally realized that her plan was ill advised. So she added another stipulation to the deal – you have to let her boyfriend come too:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.18.53 PMScreen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.18.22 PM

    So let me get this straight. You had a boyfriend of six years this entire time, who happened to have Friday off from work (shocking, I know) and was willing to drive with you to Maine to visit your friend the junkie slayer? What am I missing here? Let me guess, your winner of a boyfriend doesn’t have a car or a license? All I’m saying is, this greatly decreases your odds of finding someone who is willing to drive you up there. I mean, if I was a creeper with some time to kill, I might drive you to prison if you bought me Quiznos and we burned down at least 3 L’s. But yea, if there’s gonna be some random guy there and you guys are finger blasting each other in the back seat, no dice.

    Anyway, I actually really wanna hear how this ends up going. If I killed a guy in Maine I wouldn’t expect anyone to visit me in prison. And all of my friends have cars. This is the definition of a Fitchburg ride or die chick.

    Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 9.59.48 PM


    We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

    Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.10.12 AM

    Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM


    Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

    Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

    Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

    4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

    Join the Discussion

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


    1. Spend It All

      If she stayed a blonde, I would…just sayin.

      Oh… and firsties!!

    2. Gronkmonster

      A little mis leading on the title…I thought she was offering to smoke the driver during the trip..Total waste of time filling up my truck with gas

    3. I hate stupid people.

      WHAT?? I can’t believe what I was reading, talk about CRAZY. Getting rid of Jimmy G is a horrible idea also by the way. We won’t find one as good by the time the GOAT retires. I love how she says “say a single bad word about her and your really guna regret it” yeah makes me think I might not make it all the way to Maine if she has an issue. If someone gives her a ride they might wanna offer her a xanybar so she sleeps the whole time and they don’t end up dead. Wait I know Brian Albrecht can give her a ride and if she trys anything crazy he can use his SUPER WEYMOUTH powers on her. I hate to say it but I kinda miss that shit show. SSTG or TB you guys need to do some research on him and do an article about the Queen Of Weymouth.

    4. Mr Butthurt

      I hear them chicks with tongue piercings are the bomb for BJ’s I would have to say would.

      1. Sasha The Fire Gypsy

        I have a tongue piercing. Just putting that out there.

    5. Saul T. Balz

      how bout dem arm scars in the last pic?

      1. Red red

        The cuts are aaalllll over her body…I unfortunately know this nut job

      2. Turd Burglestein

        +1 for that awesome screen name.

        1. brian albrecht(the real one)

          Whats your address you FUCKING PUSSY. Or do you just feel like making weird videos to show how much of a low life loser you are. I WILL FUCKING END YOU. It would actually be awesome just to know i knocked a faggot turbo like you out. would be a step up from fucking up pussys like duggans day. HAHAA NEXT IN LINE LITTLE FELLA

          1. brian albrecht (the real one)

            And don’t forget I THREW A ROCK the other day. My boyfriend, I mean my friend, drove me there because I DON’T HAVE A CAR. Thanks God I gots someone who really loves me, not like Courtney. She don’t show me the love that another man does. Anyway, someone saw me throw that rock and said I throw like a retarded girl with a stub for an arm. And I said THATS RIGHT MUTHAFUCKA!!!. I even squealed a little. Same dude that said I throw like a girl said I sound like a gay goat when I squeal. I said DATS RIGHT HOMO, ITS LIKE DAT!!!

          2. Turd Burglestein

            Oh look what floated back up. Guess I need to wipe and flush twice this time. BTW, where’s your proof that you actually did this shit? I didn’t see any police reports in Quincy about this and I asked you to post a video of all this mayhem you’re claiming to cause, yet nothing. I posted a video showing how I wiped my ass with you, so don’t come back with that pussy excuse that you don’t have a youtube account or your phone doesn’t work or that you’re just too damn stupid to figure out how to upload a video to the internet…although that last reason might actually be the truth.

            Or is the truth of the matter that Duggan is really your boyfriend and none of this shit happened to begin with. I bet you 2 are currently sitting on the couch in your snuggie for 2 right now watching soap operas…which is why your gay ass can’t post up any proof.


            1. Turd Burglestein

              TAP TAP TAP

              Still waiting you weenie sniffing alley fag

            2. brian albrecht(the real one)

              wait what? YOU”re asking me to go back to his house and video tape it or something? HOW FUCKING DUMB ARE YOU? if duggan wants to post a video of his smashed door he can go ahead i dont give a fuck. I have no idea if he called the cops or not, IF HE DID ILL BE BACK AT HIS HOUSE TONIGHT! your still being a faggot big surprise there…. post your address you ugly toothless pussy

          3. Turd Burglestein

            Ok you ball molesting trick ass bitch…you really want to come visit the Turdman? Oh, this is gonna be great. You’re such a pussy. You won’t show up. Or if you do show up, I bet your yellow ass will turn tail and run the second I open the door. Or you’ll make up some pussy ass excuse about how you must have the wrong address. So go ahead and call your crackhead boyfriend to bring you over because we all know you’re too much of a pussy to hop on your bicycle and pedal your skinny pimpleboy ass over and handle your shit one on one. You already proved that with Duggan. So go ahead and put the address below into your Gayman GPS and head on over. Just be warned if you come with your pussy posse that my crew is ready to step up and fuck them up while I stomp a mudhole in your ass. Make sure you have a few zanny bars with you or at least $20 because I ain’t kicking your ass for free. We got a nice vacant lot out back where we can go at it. There’s plenty of rocks back there for you to throw at me seeing as how you’re a rock throwing pussy.

            388 Franklin St, Unit 4
            Worcester, Ma. 01604

            You have any problems finding the unit, just knock on any door and ask where Jose lives. They’ll point you in the right direction.

            But hurry up though because I got to go score me a lick around 8p tonight…or head over after 11p and I should be finished with my business.


      3. Tiara taylour

        How about them?

    6. Darwin

      To quote Chris Rock, “If she has a pierced tongue, she’s gonna suck your dick.”

      1. I hate stupid people.

        “If a guy has a pierced tongue he will probably suck your dick.” Just remember no matter what a stripper says there ain’t no sex in the champagne room.

    7. Ted Bundy

      Hell, I’d give her a ride half way there, have some fun with her and leave her in a shallow grave somewhere.

      1. Jeffrey Dahmer

        Not if I get to her first.

        1. Gary Ridgway

          I’ll beat you both there. Since you’re both dead and I’m not.

          Besides Jeffy, you like dudes, remember?

          1. Jeffrey Dahmer

            I’m adding some variety to my diet.

    8. Gimpy

      “icksnay on the urdermay” . I think its actually “ixnay” , but very fucking funny anyway.

    9. Secretone

      Omg she was on a lesbian dating app trying to pick up women for a threesome or a robbery, who knows lmao

    10. WHATEVUH

      Low budget crappy tattoo that’s for sure

    11. WHAT?

      Just another day.

      In Fitchburg.

    12. BobnMic

      She’s hot. I’ve always wanted to bang a goth chick. Think my wife would go for it?

      1. Branch Mgr from Boylston

        You sonofabitch! How dare you? I’m the exact opposite of her- clean, professional, BBW, I have a drivers license!

        (pssst, Brian A- still waiting for that hot text! 😉 )

        1. BobnMic

          I’ve told you over and over that I need a dirty woman……just like that pink floyd song. Now go get yourself an owl tattoo on your chest and a few strategically placed piercings and pick me up a handle of Captain Morgans on your way home and maybe, just maybe, I can get this little chub to spring up enough to penetrate that first fat fold in your fupa.

          P.S. make sure one of those piercings in your back door so you can put a big stud through your ass lips.

    13. Noseface

      I’d shoot a couple ropes across that owl. Amirite?

    14. LMAO

      “Ass, Grass or Cash”, well at least she got one of them, but the wrong one. She would need all three and then that’s still not enough.

    15. Turd Burglestein

      Unfortunately I don’t have a car but she can come to my place yo play XBOX and vape with me anytime!

    16. ZephyrCat

      Drive her to Lewiston and leave her with all the Somali refugees. They’ll know how to show her a good time.

    17. T k

      Is she the Nightshift Brewery girl?

    18. Independent Thinker

      Why do so many people think it’s sexy to take a selfie of yourself with your tongue hanging out, or with your lips all puckered?

      Now, I hope you do realize that nobody is going to hire you with all of those piercings and tattoos. And for the SJW’s who want to raise the minimum wage for McDonald’s workers to $15 an hour, I just came back from Florida and they are already experimenting with kiosks to replace the counter workers.

      1. Lightning bug

        She likely isn’t looking for a job anywhere and won’t be anyhow. Burden to society.

      2. Bob


    19. Fitchburg Rocks

      Please don’t judge Fitchburg from this one girl. I assure that most girls in the dirty burg are far more hideous than she is!

    20. DJ BobnMic

      I’d give her a free mustache ride!

    21. Talisman

      Is she Goth, or Emo? Emoth, or is it Gothemo? I get confused.
      One thing is for sure, even though she may have her cutter on hand at all times, she’ll entrust the wrong person one day and she won’t be as tough or street wise as she thinks she is, even with her best friend being a murderer and all. It’s gonna be a bit different trying to cut a 200+ pound shitbag with ill intent. So, good luck to her surviving that internet hitchhiking thing for very long. Look for her in the Obits.

    22. Saul T. Balz

      Sorry. Throw me a 30 rack of Natty Ice and cashmeoutside laying a mushroom tattoo on that owl.

      1. Talisman

        Don’t mind the bluntness of my purple tat machine

    23. Z

      Glad the comments are a sexual predator meet up
      All of you are extremely pathetic and sad. All this “article page” has become is the way to bash people and to laugh at others because you cant actually look in the mirror and figure out what’s wrong with yourself. What astounds me is most these people are grown men and women it’s pretty fucking disgusting you should be ashamed of yourself. None of this website entails anything informative anymore it’s just a bunch of bullies making fun of other people. There’s no talent any linguistics anything really to make you want to read any of this trash anymore. you want to talk shit all these hood kid you talk about while you stoop beyond their level from behind the computer screen. Just because a couple of people bought your mugs and T-shirts doesn’t mean you have free reign to be a fucking asshole. You give no informative information you do nothing for the community news wise you literally just take up a web browsing space. You’re honestly down there with satire news and the onion. And for all you married a man who were talking about sexually assaulting this girl I really hope your wife reads the screenshots of your comments cause you best believe I’m taking them ✌️

      1. ZephyrCat

        I’m sorry, did you say something. No? Well, thanks for playing.

      2. MrSmiley

        You must’ve missed the articles calling out welfare fraud, scam gofundme setups, parole officer ethics violations, Worcester government shitshow,state government shitshow, bringing attention to the light sentences handed out by DAs and judges, hypocrisy among both political parties. That’s just touching the surface. The internet is forever, people forget that if you do or say dumb things they live long after you do. But please continue, your opinion means sooo much to us here….?

      3. Talisman

        Is informative information better than regular, every-day, information?
        Did your school ban commas before you dropped out? (that’s the little “,” between words that indicates a pause, but not quite a sentence ender like a peroid “.”)
        Do you frequent HuffPoo and take screenshots of the bashing of everything non-SJW?
        We all want to know why a dumbass like you bothers to read and comment on a site that’s allegedly beneath your obvious pseudo-intellect, when you should really be out in the wilderness getting a running start to jump from Fuck-Off Butte and do the planet a favor.

        1. Talisman

          *period, thanks Android

    24. Annabelle

      I dated this crazy bitches ex and she got jealous and smashed my windshield. She is a complete nut job. Looks like things are going well for her HAHA what a loser

      1. BobnMic

        Hi Annabelle and welcome to my blog. I really loved your comment. I laughed so hard my spleen fell out! Do you want to get a private chatroom sometime?

      2. yourtittieslookednasteythough

        Annabelle do you have proof of this or a police report? you may to be careful you could be sued

    25. Kevin Lynch

      I’m free to give her a ride….. shes gotta sit in the back though.. My golf clubs all ways ride shotgun! smooches <3

      1. brian albrecht(the real one)

        HAHA shut the fuck up. PUSSY

        1. Kevin Lynch

          Bring it you little fucking bitch! I will rape you so hard! 48 Cedar St, Fitchburg, MA 01420 motherfucker! I will stretch your asshole open so much! i am sure you will love it! might want to numb the back of your throat too because i will be fucking that too!

          1. TheRealZephyrCat

            Whoa, slow your roll. No need to rape and throatfuck him. You don’t want to do something that’ll make him happy.

    26. Like a virgin

      The body art is obviously a cry for attention. Is there any chance she is a virgin and saving herself for her wedding day?

    27. Uhhhhhh

      I just cringed so fucking hard at the content of this article; not about the girl because honestly who fucking cares (Just don’t give her a ride if you think it’s weird??????) , but the amount of info this dude dug out and put together in context of the situation is unsettling :X

    28. DJ Buffalo Bill

      I’ve got room in my van.

    29. CC


    30. FatFingr

      Thanks a lot, TB. I fell asleep on the couch, and this Ringu nightmare crawled out of the TV.

      Billy Mays arrived and blasted it with a fire hose of Oxyclean and Kaboom to save the day.

      I didn’t sleep well, but woke up to the smell of coffee.

    31. Stamos

      You’re setting yourself up for a lawsuit. I believe you meant “If You Give Her And Her Boyfriend A Ride To Visit Her Friend In A Maine Prison that is facing charges for murder”…

    32. Dunk

      I’d hit it

    33. Andrea Alexis

      Tia was one of my best friends growing up. like hide and seek type we go way back. Really fucks me up having watched her go down the path she did.

    34. […] But based on the date it most likely means that the two friends of hers who got roasted were these winners from […]

  • Heidi Wellman For Senate

  • arrow