• Follow Turtleboy on Facebook

  • Fitchburg Queefpie Announces She Threw Boiling Water On A Cat, Goes To Doyle Field To Fight Anyone Talking Shit On Facebook

    Fitchburg Queefpie Announces She Threw Boiling Water On A Cat, Goes To Doyle Field To Fight Anyone Talking Shit On Facebook

    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.





    If you’ve ever taken your dog for a walk and had to deal with another animal that won’t leave your dog alone, you know there are a few ways to handle such a situation. This is not one of them:

    Maybe that’s how they do it in Fitchburg, but out here in civilized society we generally refrain from throwing boiled water on kitty cats. If you feel like the cat is playing too rough then just do what the President does – grab it by the pussy. Trust me, when you’re a celebrity they let you do it.

    At first we figured she was just kidding. After all, we’ve gotten a million messages about some skag asking where to dump a newborn baby all over various town pages. This is the new thing now – saying outrageously false things to see if Turltleboy will blog about it. So we have to vet these stories for fake news.

    Turns out this one is all too true.

    It’s a wild cat? Sure it is. Because lots of wild cats live in domesticated environments. I’m sure it was about to make your dog it’s dinner. Especially since her dog easily weighs at least 3 times as much as the cat. Definitely.

    She also claimed that she only threw the scalding tea (because this chick sure seems like a tea and crumpets kind of gal) on the cat’s tail:

    Just the tip. Just for a minute. Just so the pussy could see how it feels.

    Pick that booger girl! Go for it!

    People started criticizing Aracelis for throwing boiling water on a cat, which of course only strengthened her ratchet resolve:

    Next thing you know she was planning on fighting everyone in the twin cities:

    She wasn’t kidding either. She went full hoodrat and actually went to Doyle Field to document the fact that she will cut a bitch if they talk shit to her on the Internet.

    That’s when the ratchet reinforcements came in, and somehow managed to turn a cat and dog beef into a black and white thing:

    Jennifer Ho-pez is NOT fucking around. She’s “fleek.”

    I think that’s a good thing, but I don’t speak EngFitch.

    While Aracelis was apparently looking for new cats to throw boiling water on, Queen Fleek was holding it down and keeping white folks in line:

    Yea, everyone knows that white people are the only people who own cats. We be loving that shit almost as much as we love Whole Foods.

    Anyway, keep working on that selfie game girl. I see a bright career as an Instagram model in your future.

    And by Instagram model I mean welfare queen with an iPhone.


    We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.


    Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

    Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

    Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

    Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM

    4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

    Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

    Join the Discussion

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


    1. Charisma Beauty

      I’d throw a shot at both those PR’s. But it’ll have to be quick cause they don’t age well.

    2. Rico can I still claim it

      It’s never just the tip. Pussy feels way to good for just the tip.

      If she did that to the cat, she deserves to have her face pushed into a pot of boiling water.

    3. Publius

      Where hoodrats so proud to be hood and ghetto ten years ago?

    4. Michael Hutson

      some folks are just lacking something internally-heart,brain,whatever;just sit back and watch ‘karma’ do it’s immortal thing-as a Christian i have to hope they will get better,but wouldn’t put odds on it

    5. Burgling turts

      Did i really see a Pur Juz ad up there?

    6. Phil

      Yeah “Yadira” lmao you and your Mom and Grandmother and every other woman in your family would know if white peoples houses were dirty cuz you’re the ones cleanin em ya fuckin ugly ass jumpin bean. Put ya eyeballs back in ya head Goya bitch.

      1. Kevin Lynch

        My house is dirty. But I do love Pure Juz!

    7. BillsAlwaystheBills

      Cute little Huni isn’t ? Why all these Puerto Ricans wanna move to Boston? Is it the frigid summers or the cold water lobsters ? Them Chatham banannas or just that wicked Harwichport tan ? (PRs are known to come to New England to tone up on their tans) not to mention the abundance of coconuts, rum, palm trees and other tropical fruits this side south of the Arctic Circle.
      She speaks Spanish,,, Wouldn’t know Bobby Ore from a rowboat Ore….. And to think China is working on technology to bomb us ….

    8. Stephanie

      Both of those girls are dirty. You can tell by looking at them. They’re the typical trash that has DESTROYED Fitchburg.

    9. MexicanHousekeeper

      I’ve actually never been in a Puerto Rican’s house that didn’t smell like dogs and beans.

    10. JoeMomma

      She was mad that the cat had a much higher IQ than she did.

    11. Jafreese

      Cats suck. For some reason it’s ok to let them roam free and do whatever they want. We had one for a while in our neighborhood that would go after my kids and dog. But if it was the other way around and my dog went after someone it would be front page news and I’d probably get sued. Of course that would never happen cuz we are responsible dog owners.

    12. Publius

      speaking EngFitch, classic.

    13. Captain Crunch

      Racist Puerto Ricans in Fitchburg.

      Everything is wonderful in Puerto Rico.

      They hate White People but love the charity of White People.

      She should hang-out with the sicko who microwaved the turtle.

      1. The Wall


      2. Sonny's Mom

        Makes sense. PR is also known as “Dead Dog Island”. Unbelievable number of abused, abandoned and stray animals down there.

    14. Hhgg

      But feral cats are terrible

    15. Michael Savage

      Press 1 for English.

      1. The Executioner

        Awesome! Press 1 for deporting! This guy just makes too much sense!

    16. Chip Striker

      Like all brown people, Peurto Ricans come from a shilthole poverty stricken place to exploit our welfare system and just end up polluting our neighborhoods and schools.

    17. Mayor William Lantigua

      Diversity in Lawrence, Massachusetts

    18. Mayor William Lantigua

      If you live in Lawrence you should move to Dominican Republic, what’s the difference. Live cheap and payoff the cops and prosecutors for protection and no investigation of your business dealings, harem and use of deadly force.

      1. BantamBallers

        EBT sign in foreground, nice touch

    19. Mayor William Lantigua

      Lawrence Massachusetts

    20. Barry

      So she threw boiling water on a cat. At least she didn’t throw the cat in boiling water. Anyone that has a problem with what she did but still eats at the Super Buffet is a damn hypocrite.

      1. Cracker Jack

        Exactly. & it wasn’t boiling! It was warm tea water. Probably 120 degrees, far from 212. Hot enough to warm your chilly fingers. Savage rocks!

    21. They call me Ponch

      Pure Juz ??!!

      Tried to go there. They be closed.

      Those chicks probably love da Juz!

      1. Archie Bunker

        Sounds more like a banking operation

    22. Mike Rochannelle

      Excuse me, I can’t see her complaint. I thought French people were white. I mean she IS French right ? Don’t they have the French Rivera ? Thing I wonder is why would one would leave the French Rivera,, to come here? And what’s with the complaining there’s white people here ???

    23. Juz Hater

      I mean does Turtle even know who owns Pure Juz? Seems like a funny person to be taking money from.

    24. Irishcurse

      I see this cunt posted the boycott turtleboy on her facebook. If she isnt afraid of people outing her why is she calling for TB boycott. I hope she OD’s tonight .

  • Heidi Wellman For Senate

  • arrow