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  • Food Stamp Friday: Fall River Beef Bucket Nicknamed “The Hammer” Buying Stamps at 70% Face Value, Is Friends With Turtleboy Famous Klonopin Saleswoman



    Food Stamp Friday: Fall River Beef Bucket Nicknamed “The Hammer” Buying Stamps at 70% Face Value, Is Friends With Turtleboy Famous Klonopin Saleswoman

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    Remember – food stamp abuse is rare:

    On that note, Happy Food Stamp Friday everyone!!! Meet the first of our winners this week – Richie Ferreira from Fall River:

    Luckily Richie does not receive food stamps. He’s a buyer:

    These are a rarity on food stamp Friday. Eighty percent of the time we are dealing with sellers. Buyers are usually up to some bigger scheme. Either they plan to resell them for a profit, or they are trying to save money on their own grocery bill by buying cards at a discount rate from people who are desperate for drug money. What rate is he offering?

    Wow!! Seventy cents on the dollar is pretty much the best offer a junkbox can ever receive. Needless to say his inbox obviously blew up quickly. That’s well over the average market rate of 50 cents. For the junkies it’s like selling your house in 2008 right before the bubble burst. You’ll never get as much for your stamps as you will right now. Total seller’s market.

    And as his friends pointed out, he was about to have a buttload of offers:

    Oh, and look who else chimed in with her thoughts:

    Jocelyn Cruz, AKA Jocelyn Ridge. The muff machine SSTG wrote about a week or 2 ago, who had junkies all over the South Coast lining up to buy the klonopins she was selling on Facebook:

     

    What were the odds two Facebook dope salespeople from Fall River would run in the same ratchet social circles? Never saw that one coming. But seriously, there’s nothing that makes my shell harder than when a ghost of Turtleboy past reappears on another gutterslug’s page while we’re doing reconnaissance work.

    Shockingly when you google Richie’s name you get a plethora of his “when keeping it real goes wrong” greatest hits. Like the time he led cops on a 100 mph chase into Rehoboth, bailed out of the car, and caused four hours of traffic delays as the cops searched for him:

    Or when he was caught breaking into houses in Falmouth and once again ran from the cops in his Honda:

    Or when he was arrested in Tiverton on outstanding warrants:

    Or when him and his crack donkey girlfriend were arrested for selling fentanyl in Fall River:

    Or my personal favorite, the time he tried to have charges dismissed after he got a booboo while actively resisting arrest after he dragged a Fall River vice unit officer with his car:

    Luckily he lives in Massachusetts where you can drag cops with your car, sell drugs, break into homes, and lead cops on high speed chases, and never, ever go to jail.

    Here’s another thing about Richie Ferreira – he puts his poon baton where he wants, when he wants to:

    Because what chick can resist the girth of an online food stamp broker?

    Better not talk too much shit though – according to his boy Ty, Richie is “the hammer” and a true “hitta”:

    Hey Ty, who’s your favorite professional sportball team?

    Oh, the Chicago Bulls. And you purchase their hats and don’t bend the brim. Shocking.

    Anyway, Richie can afford to buy your stamps because he has so many dead presidents buried in his wallet that you might in fact mistake it for a cemetery:

    And everyone knows that when you’re filthy rich like him, you stay living in Fall River, because it’s just that glamorous there.

    Anyway, once again we do realize that the vast majority of people on government assistance are not abusing the system. But the fact of the matter is that abuse is rampant. It’s so rampant and commonplace that people see nothing wrong with doing it publicly on Facebook. You don’t see people buying and selling weed like this on Facebook, and weed is legal.

    But please – tell me how rare food stamp abuse is. I hardly ever see it……

     

     

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    Discussion

    1. Ms. Lotta Leadpipe


      It’s because people like this exist, that we have David Lynch films.

    2. Mark D


      a real life cartoon character

    3. wabbitt


      Never mind sex offenders, we need a registry of everyone with a flat brimmed Bulls hat. They’re the real danger to society.

    4. Chip Striker


      What a fucking loser.

    5. No Drugs, lifting without drugs


      Hope he enjoys his kidney dialysis and organ transplant wait list beginning in 10 years. Hard to believe a person can be this big and strong and this insecure. Most body builders pride themselves on living healthy and helping other people learn fitness. Go strait to jail and wait for organ failure.

    6. They call me Ponch


      Easy does it people.
      He looks Syndromic. Like that kid Corky from that show.

    7. Bench Press


      I lift things up and put dem down.

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