Hoodrat Heroes

Food Stamp Friday: Pregnant Hood Heifer Really, Really Wants To Buy Food Stamps For Her Upcoming Baby Shower

This classy lady is Ida Christine Williams, and she is planning a baby shower for herself.

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You can tell it’s going to be a super classy affair, because this is how she put out invites:

 

And because she’s having a shower for what is definitely not the first crotch fruit she’s fired off from her baby cannon:

 

And….well….all of this:

 

 

So naturally, while planning a celebration for the imminent of arrival of the newest addition to your litter o’ critters with your newest baby daddy and all of your friends currently out on parole, there is only one catering option that will do:

 

Foodstamps, baby! Half on the dollar!

She’s clearly in need and missing meals here.

 

And she really, really, really needs someone to “sale” her those stamps, guys. Her high class event depends on it.

“I don’t wanna pay cash for food.” Of course you don’t.

Unfortunately she hasn’t had any luck yet, and her ratchet scholar friends have deduced it must be because it’s tax refund season, naturally. The handout cup doth runneth over this time of the year, and in this bounty of welfare handouts, the ratchets are holding on to their tax payer funded money for food, to maximize their taxpayer funded cash windfall.

How astute.

Jaylo had an innovative solution – shoplift your baby shower spread from Wal-Mart!

But alas, apparently Wal-Mart has “caught on” to blatant shoplifting. Bummer. It’s a really good thing welfare abuse is just a myth, and that Ida-Ho over here hasn’t been feeding herself to the point of obesity by purchasing other people’s benefits for at least 5 years, or anything.

 

Oh. Damn.

I guess that explains why it appears she’s been anticipating March 1st since February 11th, actually.

 

But tragically, there’s just too much free money to go around right now, so I guess Ida is just going to have to suck it up and buy her baby shower prepackaged cupcakes, Cheetos and Malta with her E.I.C tax refund instead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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47 Comment(s)
  • Pocahontas Warrens Tribe
    March 10, 2019 at 11:41 am

    Dat Sistah beezs a Kween an sheeeeet y’all!

  • Diego
    March 4, 2019 at 10:54 am

    The last thing cheese hog needs is food stamps. How about some wight loss stamps (aka Diego’s black tar Heroin special???)

  • TJB
    March 3, 2019 at 9:57 pm

    Thats just what Massachusetts needs; another corn log to support from the stank cradle to the indigent grave. Its free $wipe yo’ EBT. This ‘chile’ already has a WIC card before it even escapes this bitches stank.

  • Big Wick
    March 2, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    Another spot-on column, Bristol, except for one thing… I do happen to be rather fond of Malta. Don’t get it often, but every now and then I get the hankering… just like for Limburger/ Liverwurst/ onion “Rosebud style” (“on rye, with mustard”).

  • Kareem Abdul Jabbar
    March 2, 2019 at 7:13 pm

    Imagine how big her slot is

    She could shoplift basketballs in that thing

  • JJ
    March 2, 2019 at 11:51 am

    O0o0o yay goodie. Another bastard child born out of wedlock that we will be taking care of. Since we as the tax payers take care of so many children. We should all have a collective say on how these children are raised.

    I think it’s time to make a law. The law would be that you need to be married for over two years. File a petition with the state to have a child. No parent can have a criminal record. Both must submit to mental health evaluations. You must both earn a combined 120k a year before tax. Also before all of this happens you need to have 20 people verify your character before you would be eligible to file a petition to have a child. You would also need to pay 10k to file said petition. Though if everything works out in your favor after the first year you would receive that 10k back in tax credits. If you are caught having a child with out going through the proper channels then you will be put into jail for 18 years. Your child will go to a school where they live & learn to be productive members of society.

    They kind of do some of the same shit if you want to adopt a child. I dont see any harm in it at all. This law would make it so that only people who are normal, educated, established & can actually raise a child with out any money from the state. Who also have a good overall moral compass have children. This law would solve a lot of problems!

    • JJ
      March 2, 2019 at 11:56 am

      O p.s. a friend of mine got a message from this chick on pof a few months back. It was a very nasty vile message. One could only think that she met some other rando fuck pig on there, had a one night stand and now this. The picture of her ugly ass in the multicolored dress is the same one she used in her profile picture.

      • Pennsrant
        March 3, 2019 at 3:46 pm

        I agree! To drive you have to be a certain age and take a test. To adopt a pet: You have to prove you have a good home, be interviewed and pay money. You also need to show a mortgage or some such, or have a letter from your landlord stating you can have pets. If they put all of these restrictions on things like this, we should absolutely do it with prospective parents! I also like your idea of imprisonment if the kids are conceived without express permission. What I would add to this is that there should also be a civics test or some other current events test that would be graded thus determining whether or not you have the right to vote. Too many stupid people breeding; too many uniformed morons voting.

  • Burlando Castile
    March 2, 2019 at 9:21 am

    She reminds me of a song by AWOLNATION

    SALE!

    This is why I need to breed
    Maybe I want shit for free
    Lack of ‘sponsibility, baby
    Gotta load my EBT – SALE!

    Gonna find no fault in me
    Gonna get my shit for free
    Blame it on the Mass AG, baby
    Racis crackas be hatin me – SALE!

    SALE!

  • Condoleezza Rice is Nice
    March 2, 2019 at 8:42 am

    Instead of giving them cards and letting them buy Funyuns, Pepsi and Yodels why don’t we just hand out 50lb sacks of rice.
    They should not have the privilege of picking what kind of food they want to eat. When we do food drops for humanitarian missions we don’t take orders on grub hub and make deliveries. If you want to eat anything other than rice then get a job. Problem solved and we would also save millions on their free health care costs in the process. Win win.

    • Rochambeau
      March 2, 2019 at 4:48 pm

      If the taxpayers wanted to, they could model SNAP like WIC. Children wouldn’t starve but there would definitely be some pre-planning, cooking and parenting going on… just like the other adults.

      That’s were the dignity starts.

  • Torah! Torah! Torah!
    March 2, 2019 at 7:13 am

    Time to mass report this pig and see what happens. Boy, she’s gotta have a tough time wiping that fat ass after a steamy dump!. I’m doing my part, I’m reporting this pig right after I type this. I’m only one person though. It’s gonna take more than just me…

  • Fuck yous
    March 2, 2019 at 3:29 am

    yull r fukkin losers. fuckk care if i buy stamps or not, gots nothing 2do with any yous. DOnt like my messsage, keep on searchingg by god damn must be a bunch of cracka azz motherfukkrs. No ones gonna tell me of me only my sweet jesus and savior gonna do that. comes to our hood no last seconds dip azz motherfuckrs

    • Rochambeau
      March 2, 2019 at 5:59 am

      “Only god can judge.”

      I can’t tell if this is a masterfully crafted satirical take or a real response by Ida Christine Williams. The spelling is atrocious.

      • Hensley bam bam Muillens
        March 2, 2019 at 3:10 pm

        I agree, if this was done in satire I am impressed……truly a masterpiece. Unfortunately something is telling me it was done by the robust one. The spell check must be flipping out on their government funded iphone 9’s

    • Burlando Castile
      March 2, 2019 at 8:58 am

      “god damn must be a bunch of cracka azz motherfukkrs.”

      No, not at all you disgusting excuse for human being. You’re the reason why you make us minorities look bad. You ONLY see race because you have no intelligent argument. You’re an embarrassment to all of us and I will judge you. You’re a racist lowlife who gets by on scraps by seeing how much you can get away with.

      That is why you deserve no respect but deserve all this criticism. There are blacks and then there are N’s, guess which one you are that some of us aren’t.

    • Juan Peron
      March 2, 2019 at 10:37 am

      If Jesus ended up in your ghetto, he’d prolly get mugged and stomped

    • Get AIDS
      March 2, 2019 at 4:04 pm

      Stop talking like you’re Joe Pesci and learn how to use condoms you fat fucking Petri dish of a woman. You look like a smell.

    • What?
      March 4, 2019 at 10:07 am

      I misplaced my ratchet to English dictionary. Could someone please translate this. Thanks,

  • Amy Schumer
    March 1, 2019 at 10:42 pm

    I remember my first freshman 50.

    • Memet
      March 2, 2019 at 8:10 pm

      You hate condoms, love white cock and cream pies. You’re still ok in my book despite your bats hit crazy politics. Abortions should be a regular procedure with you.

  • Cottage Cheese Cunt
    March 1, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    Fat Bitch be shitting her XXXL panties, was dat a fart or a shart.

    Minorities are majorities around da world. In the USA they be minorities dats why USA is dominate. Gives it time da mud peoples will destroy da USA alsos.

  • Bob Kraft
    March 1, 2019 at 8:16 pm

    This would be a bridge too far.

    • Bill Clinton
      March 1, 2019 at 9:07 pm

      Not me, hold my beer.

  • Emily Dickinson
    March 1, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    fucking pigslut

    • porky pig
      March 2, 2019 at 7:26 am

      I wouldn’t touch that fat greasy hog

  • Dog Ate My Earlier Blogs
    March 1, 2019 at 7:14 pm

    Bristol’s on fire today with three articles.

    • WWG1WGA
      March 1, 2019 at 8:25 pm

      We got ya gurl. We know. Love Q

  • Build More Prisons
    March 1, 2019 at 7:01 pm

    Another day, another ratchet.

  • Yuck
    March 1, 2019 at 6:42 pm

    It never ceases to amaze me how fucking low dudes’ standards can be. That fat slob would be a solid 2 with the thickest of beer goggles. Even in my drunkest state I would never settle for a 2. I’d go home and jack off before I would even think of fucking a fattie like that.

    • ANGRY GIANT
      March 2, 2019 at 9:51 am

      It’s not an issue of standards.

      There are many people that want to destroy America. And some of them want to destroy it from within.

      They can’t beat us in the competition of ideas. They can’t beat us in battle.

      But they can beat us in breeding, especially when the liberals take the money from us and gives it to them.

      What would the working class birthrate be if every couple had 30% more money?

      What would the useless class birthrate be if they weren’t being paid to have more babies?

  • Grandpa’s Typewriter
    March 1, 2019 at 6:40 pm

    With the misspellings, lack of grammar, emoji’s, and ratchet talk i sometimes feel like i am reading wing ding font.

  • Where are People with Common Sense ?
    March 1, 2019 at 6:33 pm

    No shame or self respect. This has been made a joke of with no concern of getting in trouble. They are stealing from the government which means they’re stealing from each one of us that goes to work
    Where are Liz Warren, Ed Markey or Katherine Clark or Jason Lewis or Maura Healey about this? There are more non black people in this state than not. How about we vote out these useless hacks out

    • Freedom is For All People
      March 1, 2019 at 6:37 pm

      Before the comments about how racist we are here begin let’s remember that they can say whatever they want to further their rights. We have the same rights and can speak our minds also. We just don’t loot and burn shit down when we don’t get our way

      • Alan Smithee
        March 2, 2019 at 4:51 am

        …or have a tantrum when they don’t give you an Oscar.

  • Randall Guy’s Alter Ego
    March 1, 2019 at 6:07 pm

    Want govt benefits? Mandatory sterilization. No exceptions.

  • Old Tom Morris
    March 1, 2019 at 6:07 pm

    Where can I get me some stamps y’all?

  • No mo farting cows
    March 1, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    Gee i wonder why racism exists

  • Martini Luther is Turning in Hus Grave
    March 1, 2019 at 5:50 pm

    What a disgrace. Perhaps all these benefits would count as reparation money. They also haven’t worked since the slave days Decent black people should put a stop to this shit as it only furthers the stereotype. Truth hurts sometimes

    • Freeing the Blacks was a BIG MISTAKE
      March 1, 2019 at 5:55 pm

      Blacks have NO ONE to blame for the black stereotype but themselves.

      I agree – government benefits should count as reparations!

      That means, by the latest calculations, AFTER reparations are figured in, the blacks owe us about 18 Trillion.

      • Dindu Plantation
        March 2, 2019 at 10:55 am

        Fucking Dindus.

  • Abraham Lincoln
    March 1, 2019 at 5:49 pm

    Another single black mother. What a shocker. Where’s the biological father?

    Oh right, he’s out making more kids with other women.

    We should’ve picked our own damn cotton

    I regret my decision

    • John Wilkes Booth
      March 2, 2019 at 8:21 am

      ^ Gotcha!

      Pow.

    • Juan Peron
      March 2, 2019 at 10:39 am

      Where’s the biological father?
      Prison or rehab

      • Mike Hunt
        March 2, 2019 at 2:01 pm

        The fathers are around. But why pay for your kids when the state does it willingly for free? You never get married and you get free housing, food and money. You get paid to be a fucking pig. They laugh at us working folks.

  • Francis Sidebottom
    March 1, 2019 at 5:23 pm

    She 8s definitely a candidate for the Maduro diet

    • Captain Trips
      March 1, 2019 at 5:50 pm

      Losers like this slag are candidates for the euthanasia diet

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