Careful, they normally have a strict diet of Hennessy so this one might be rabid.
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We need a break from all the reality and what better way to do that than watching a surveillance video of a 300lbs woman robbing a liquor store blind!
Sekonie Jones is a ghetto gift in these dark times. The video of her cramming EIGHTEEN bottles of booze in to her overdeveloped snatch, knock-off purse, and sweaty fun bags in a Louisiana store is one of the most hoodrattastic things my two eyes have ever seen. Her shirt says “Glam” when it should say “Ham.” I needed her in my life.
Can you just imagine going to crack open that fine bottle of stolen Cuervo, have it begin to omit this fat-funk-cheese-smell? Sekonie isn’t a small chick. It’s AUGUST in Louisiana. That thing probably reeks like microwaved break room fish and the soggy foot scrapings from a ped egg. I wonder if she told everyone that she was a mixologist and the smell was just the bitters she was using while she dumped her hijacked cooch hootch in to a slurpee cup.
Don’t even give me the crap about fat shaming. Homegirl utilized her literal chub pouch to steal hundreds of dollars worth of frivolous shit she didn’t need from a small business. So spare me the whining. She’s not on the endangered species list so hunting season is wide open.
Before she waddled in the to clink she had some serious philosophical words to throw down on the Facebook machine.
She blames it on the hustle and admits she’s been bagged shoplifting before. So she knows the ropes.
Whatever, as long as it’s not murder, right?
Well Sekonie, when you walk in to a store with a giant empty purse, fill the damn thing, and then wedge another bottle in your vagina, and another in your sweaty bra, what did you think was GOING to happen? You live in an area where crime is rampant. You think there isn’t going to be one of the most high-tech security systems in place? You aren’t a hustler. You’re a moron. A moron with stank liquor.