All-Star Criminals

Gardner Homeslice Jumps Out Of Moving Vehicle To Evade Cops, Forgets He Was Driving And Leaves Two People In The Car As It Crashes Into Tree

Gardner Homeslice Jumps Out Of Moving Vehicle To Evade Cops, Forgets He Was Driving And Leaves Two People In The Car As It Crashes Into Tree


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TurtlegramA Main Street man jumped from a moving vehicle as he allegedly tried to flee from police Monday afternoon. Francis Bermudez, 22, of 42 Main St., Apt. 7, was charged with multiple motor vehicle offenses, along with possession of cocaine with intent to distribute, two counts of cocaine possession, and heroin possession. Police said they tried to stop a vehicle Mr. Bermudez was driving around 2:17 p.m., but the car drove off. Officers pursued for a short distance when Mr. Bermudez jumped from the vehicle. Mr. Bermudez ran, while the car collided with a tree. Officers were able to catch up with Mr. Bermudez at Timpany Plaza. Police said they found narcotics on Mr. Bermudez after a search. 

You’ll never guess who this winner’s favorite basketball team is:

Man, Chicago Bulls games must be ratchet central. I’ve never been to one, but it sounds dangerous.

Anyway, generally if you’re gonna jump out of a moving vehicle, you wanna make sure that you’re a passenger and not the driver. Or else you’re kind of fucking over the people riding with you. And that’s exactly what Francis here did. He left a chick and another Chicago Bulls fan in the car while he bailed out. Oh well, you gotta keep it 100 sometimes I guess.

Francis seems like he’s really going places. He lives by a very strict code – “money be the motive” and “never trust a hoe.”

Although the hoe in the backseat who was left behind in a vehicle with no driver would probably argue that they could never trust a Gardner chudmuffin like Francis either.

Don’t matter though, because Francis is all about that cash money, and is a really deep thinker:

True that yo!! Francis over here is so gangsta he puts the G in GED!! And luckily he has reproduced (because, of course), and is obviously instilling values and morals into the next generation, so the cycles of ratchetry do not repeat themselves.

 

 

 

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11 Comment(s)
  • Kas
    January 13, 2020 at 2:26 pm

    Homeless dope fiend rapist loser. Francis Bermudez is the biggest fuckin clown around, ask anyone. If you see this just know who this is.

  • Ling ling
    June 7, 2017 at 5:04 pm

    He puts the G in GED

  • Big Raymond
    June 7, 2017 at 5:48 am

    “you either with me or against me”

    Please note, I’m against you, and anyone who is “with you”

    As the Arabs say “The friend of Gardner home slice is my enemy”

  • whatevuh
    WHATEVUH
    June 6, 2017 at 9:29 pm

    Just another shit-stain on the underwear of society

  • Cock Grinder
    June 6, 2017 at 7:11 pm

    So, you be out there “grinding”, yo? What ya “grinding” on BITCH? Some dude’s cock?

    You’re not one of them “Diesels of New England” fellars, are you?

    If so, you and Shaun Hitchcock should hook up. I hear he “likes” corn on the cob!

  • Savage Squaw Bitch
    June 6, 2017 at 4:24 pm

    Skinny piece of shit. And he is ugly, too. What a catch [NOT!!!]!

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    June 6, 2017 at 2:46 pm

    Facks G!!!

  • June 6, 2017 at 1:49 pm

    because like,defense lawyers,yo

    • Ashamed Atholian
      June 6, 2017 at 9:02 pm

      These low-lives from places like Fitchburg are moving in to towns like
      Gardner and Athol for the free housing that’s popping up everywhere.
      This whole area is gonna be such a dump in the next decade.

      • hmmm
        June 8, 2017 at 9:11 pm

        “This whole area is gonna be such a dump ”
        Going to be?

      • Sterling Turtle Rider
        June 10, 2017 at 2:45 am

        ‘Going to be’ passed a long time ago… its spreading faster than a social disease at a Shriner’s Convention

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