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  • Gothopotamus Musician Harasses Innocent Women Online Because He Can’t Score A Date While Living In Mom’s Basement

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    Gothopotamus musician loves harassing innocent women online because he can’t score a date while living in his mom’s basement.

    Well folks, we have a new “opotamus” for you, the “Gothopotamus” better known as an “overweight or large goth” or we can just call him by his name, George Alen. I present to you one of the biggest losers on the internet. A man who has a severe case of the, “I can’t get laid” blues.



    Of course, a musician with a regular job because his “music” won’t ever get him anywhere besides a bar or lounge for the hearing impaired.

    A nice woman contacted us on the Facebook machine showing us some sceenshots of this guys behavior. Typically, I try to avoid things like this because it’s usually just some guy sending over a couple of messages or unsolicited dick pictures that he shouldn’t be proud of to begin with (please don’t do that unless you are 100% sure a woman wants to see it, and it’s half decent looking). However, George Alen persisted to harass this lovely lady for over 3 hours.



    He truly believed he had a chance at knocking her socks off. I am amused. It’s as if he is looking at himself from a mirror that is glazed with his own semen and unable to identify his horrible physical features, “mirror mirror on the wall, why is there so much cum here?” – I hope you weren’t expecting me to rhyme… Not really my gig.

    Here are his lovely messages:


    The first request was denied but he doesn’t get the hint and asks again the very next day. You are already showing signs of desperation dude, relax.


    I guess he caught wind that she was at a party, and he wasn’t invited. Man, she already turned down your invite to hang out without saying a simple, “maybe next weekend” to show some interest. She obviously wants nothing to do with you. She is allowed to hang out with other guys because guess what? She isn’t dating you man. She isn’t even MESSAGING you at this point!

    When a woman says, “When I’m free i’ll hit you up” and she doesn’t do it within at least two or three days, that’s code for “I will never hang out with you, ever” and most men would get that, but not George:


    Dude…………really? I mean, really? There is nothing more real than a woman ignoring you. If you’re being ignored, she is NOT interested. I feel like I should be teaching a class somewhere, “Follow these easy steps to avoid being a virgin for the rest of your life” – it would be a best seller, I could see it now.


    Oh look, “Hey genuis, do you have any fucking STD’s?” No, she does not. Neither do you, but not because you’re clean, more because you don’t get laid, bro. He then realized he’s unblocked and called her a “pussy” wow this guy is so charming.


    This guy has quite the way of going about getting women. Typical men say nice things like, “Your hair looks great” when in reality it means, “I want to bang you, a lot” and if the guy has a nice bologna baton, just once…………….she let’s him fill her bear with honey; happily ever after, Am I right? This guy though… He hasn’t felt a vagina since he was squeezed out of his mother’s birth canal. I’m thinking her cervix closed during birth, and that is when his development delay began.


    He keeps going and going. What is he talking about Taco Bell for? Is this guy alright in the head? I mean what’s really going on in that dome. It must be filled with angry thoughts and loneliness. I understand he’s not getting laid, but let a load out somehow dude before you hurt yourself or someone else.


    Wow…. he’s like the gift that keeps on giving except he’s a fucking nightmare. One of those dreams where you wake up screaming, calm down, and then realize you’re still in the nightmare.


    She finally put him on block. I want to praise her for being so patient with this moron. I would have tore into his manhood so well that he would have regret every life choice he has ever made concerning disrespect toward women.

    I really want to brighten everyone’s day and show you some picture of this man every woman dreams of dating, if she wanted to be yelled at and threatened of course:

    Oh, the glorious middle finger photo… What a losah!

    The, “Where is my neck?” picture.

    The, “I am sweaty, and wearing the same army fatigue shorts in every picture, and I may have a meth scab on my leg” picture.

    The, “These are my band mates and we are not very successful at all” picture

    The, “I’m stuck in deep thought about how my father was right, mom should have swallowed or done a reverse kegel and squeezed me out” picture.

    The, “Here I am playing guitar in my mom’s basement, don’t look at the dirty towel being used as window curtain” picture.

    His band is truly a gem.

    Yes, his band name is “Chaotic Meltdown” how amusingly fitting for his type of personality.

    Click here for their YouTube channel that has a whopping 23 subscribers, 21 of them are probably family members, the other 2 are more than likely spam bots.

    One particular video shows just how successful his band is:

    Ha! Just kidding. No idea where they are playing, but they do mention on their page that they often play “live” as if they are at some important venue. I’m pretty sure most of the people there didn’t show up for them as they look sort of confused. I think there were about 18 people in that crowd… Way to go! Can someone tell me what the lead singer is saying? All of that screaming is no good. He’s going to ruin his voice box; my mouth to God’s ears, Am I right? Anyway, the loser is playing his guitar. If you watch close enough you can see he’s out of shape and has a better set of tits than the average woman. I feel kind of bad for their drummer, he’s pretty decent. If you’re reading this, run!

    I hope when George reads this blog, his tiny dick inverts into his sausage casing and stays there for good. If it ever happens to slip out again, I’m sure he still won’t get laid. Typically for sex to be enjoyable, the man can’t have a penis so tiny he pisses on his balls while it slowly drips down his leg and washes away the one ounce of self confidence he has left.

    Thoughts? Ladies, how turned on are you by this guy? Rate your attraction to this mama’s boy on a scale of “One” through “My ovaries wilted and died.” Can’t wait to read your comments!



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    1. Duke Westwood

      “so you’re basically saying that you’re easy, right?”

      But can’t even get a text message response…

      Bwah haha haha haha… LOOOO-SAH!!!

    2. Couldnt help but notice...

      that these guys CLEARY think theyre in some underground dark basement metal rave when theyre actually in a record store…during the day…

    3. KJDS

      I hope he contacts Deskie. She’ll fall in love.

      1. wabbitt

        Oh yeah, she’ll need her lady cave scraped out again after meeting him.

    4. Semen Cannon

      Most of these morons think “musician”/”artist” will score them a lot of trim, like (insert-their-male-musician-idol) here gets on tour.

      Unfortunately, they’re not smart enough to realize the reason their icon is scoring major trim is not because he’s a musician, but, because he’s got a shitload of cash, and, unfortunately, living in your mommy’s basement doesn’t put you in the same socioeconomic class.

      Oh, and I do not think that is a bath towel on a window casing, I think its a pair of his tighty-whitey underpants.

    5. Turd Burglestein

      Yeah…he’s really rocking it there with that walmart guitar. He looks like the kind that’s saving his allowance money to upgrade to a Peavy.

    6. Turd Burglestein

      Maybe he could learn how not to suck from this video.

    7. wabbitt

      When Georgey Porgy reads this, Deskie will be the next one getting called a taco slut as he tells her about his deformation of chatter lawsuit. I’ll bet he already has Richard N. Vulva on retainer.

    8. Turd Burglestein

      Holy shit…I tried to watch that video and got about 30 seconds into it before I had to shut it down. The lead singer sounds like diarreah is coming out of his mouth as he tries to fellate the microphone. Then the guitar player with his arsenal of three whole chords combined with over distortion so you can’t tell that he doesn’t even know 2 of those 3 chords turned my stomach so bad I literally had to go drink a bottle of pepto bismal. I’ve seen 10 yr old kids that have only played a few months do a better job than this.

      Just being exposed to that shit for 30 secs has emotionally damaged me. Fiesty…I’m sending you the bill for my therapy because you didn’t put a strong enough warning out on that video.

    9. Big Raymond

      Tries to meet girl by being cool, loses his cool with girl and demonstrates pure uncoolness.

      Dude… she want’s someone exciting and fun, she wants to feel good about the person she dates not sad and brow-beaten.

    10. Pops Zadiia

      I could hear that poor woman’s Vagina drying up with every key stroke he made. He is a lead guitarist?!? that has LSD(lead singer disease). If that woman, who coaxed her poor boyfriend into killing himself, via text messaging, gets off…..maybe they can hook up and there will be peace in this world.

      Oh yeah, and that entire band sucks. They should got to group lessons and start with, how to hold your instrument properly.

    11. BobnMIc

      Hmmm maybe a wedding singer? Divorce imminent by sun down…

    12. CuteGirlPerspective

      Ughh, what the hell is wrong with some guys??? I’ve experienced similar rapid-fire, psychotic, completely unsolicited and delusional insults/aggressive statements from guys that can’t accept rejection; whether in the form of me ignoring them or my blatant “please leave me alone” demands. NOT CUTE, CRAZY DUDES!
      Dear douchebag facial hair, guitarist wannabee, man boobs-MGee,
      If you’re way of wooing a woman is being mean, overbearing, crazy, and desperate.. you should focus on YOU and learn to love those big ol’ man boobies..
      P.S. if you’re gonna be absolutely repulsive visually, don’t be a dick with a shitty personality. Bitches don’t like that. And polite girls everywhere wish you could take a hint

    13. Knob

      Just a little bit on his bands defense. Playing metal brings you some pathetic shows. Playing record stores during the day is unfortunately part of the game. I’ve been there. That being said, we did a show with this band and they were as sucky as they were arrogant. Bad combo. This guy is a major creep obsessed with hating on emo kids and claiming that he’s true hardcore. Nobody likes him. Other musicians were making fun of him and his line 6 guitar rig. Some people, like this dude, are majorly clueless about the effect they have on people. Not surprised he’s a pathetic creeper. Can’t wait to play with them again!

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