• The Gun Parlor

  • Gutterslugs Forcefully Rob Norwich Liquor Store, Get ID’d on Facebook, Bad Guy’s Mom Accuses Store Owner Of Racism Denies He Stole Booze, Then Finds Out He Was Arrested



    Gutterslugs Forcefully Rob Norwich Liquor Store, Get ID’d on Facebook, Bad Guy’s Mom Accuses Store Owner Of Racism Denies He Stole Booze, Then Finds Out He Was Arrested

    4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

    Our Facebook page is suspended again, so make sure you to LIKE THE LOST BOYS OF TURTLE Facebook page to keep up with our latest blogs.
    Our Facebook page is suspended again, so make sure you to LIKE THE LOST BOYS OF TURTLE Facebook page to keep up with our latest blogs.

    Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

     

     

     

     

     

    Apparently not everything was closed yesterday during super storm Stella. A liquor store in Norwich CT was open for business, and a trio of local ratchtacular grimeballs wanted some booze, they just didn’t wanna pay for it:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.02.36 AM 17218681_642623299195826_2894674367708954186_o 17310391_642623289195827_3863925822276386617_o 17212167_642623269195829_5306035260100571664_o 17192416_642623262529163_1668226927243264763_o

    Within hours the cops knew who they were and they were all under arrest:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.03.18 AM  17192287_642708215854001_8706122705915310499_o 17240719_642709529187203_4438083826880946097_o

    17218429_642708805853942_4017912855123470743_o

    What a bunch of winners!! How bout that last chick? I could write a blog on that chick’s forehead!! Not ABOUT her forehead, literally ON her forehead. Pictures and ads included. Holy moly!! Jet Blue could open up a new hub on that thing. If you’re gonna rob a liquor store in broad daylight, you gotta do something to cover up the most distinguishable things about your appearance. Rookies.

    Anyway, I love how the other chick’s name is Justis Little. So perfect. But Justis doesn’t believe that justice has prevailed:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.11.19 AM Screen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.13.16 AM Screen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.14.00 AM

    I love it when they show up on the police page to defend their honor. That always goes swimmingly. Especially when they’re claiming they didn’t steal a bottle of booze from a liquor store, but they posted this a few days ago:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.07.02 AM

    Oops!!

    15895364_771259723025576_5091118572947893503_n

    Justis is none too pleased that people started tagging her in the original post, which helped the Norwich PD identify her and bring her to “Justis”:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.05.26 AMScreen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.05.20 AM

    Not sure what 90% of that means, but it’s pretty convincing. Not guilty!! Free my boi!!

    The other two – Kayla Burgess and Tristian Irvin – made the wise decision to stay far away from the Norwich PD page. But Tristians’s mother did not heed this advice. Instead she went on there to defend her son’s honor, which always convinces people that the cause you are fighting for is just and honorable. For instance, Jackie Rodriguez, Tristian’s mother, claimed that her son din du nuffin. As a matter of fact, it was the racist store owner’s fault for grabbing her choir boy of a son, calling him a “dirty Mexican,” and accusing him of stealing a bottle of liquor he had every intention of paying for:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.14.51 AM

    Yea, I’m sure that’s definitely what happened. Because it’s not like the cops reviewed the tapes and saw everything that transpired. Nah, they just took the word of a racist store owner and arrested the Mexican kid for shits and giggles.

    13122898_163230597411298_7415246820965488262_o

    She was just getting warmed up though. Next Jackie pointed out the fact that the “Boston police are better, caring and more smarter”:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.11.20 PM

    It’s true. Everyone knows BPD is the most smartest police force around. Maybe if your son moved to Boston and started robbing liquor stores there he wouldn’t have a court date in his near future. That would’ve been the more smarter thing for him to do.

    This was my favorite exchange. Before her son’s mugshot was posted people had already identified him in the comments. Momma bear insisted they were wrong, and insisted that her son could not have committed this crime and been arrested. Then some guy at the police station stated otherwise:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.18.19 AM

    Just a reminder, Facebook does offer the option of deleting comments, specifically for instances like this when you look so, so dumb, and you just wanna make it all go away.

    Then she insisted that they hadn’t stolen any alcohol, and they had merely been detained, not arrested, only to realize later on in that conversation that she was wrong once again:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.17.38 AM

    Then after she came to grips with the fact that her kid robbed a liquor store (despite the fact that she had defended him so vociferously), she did the only thing a good mother could do – called out the snitches:

    Screen Shot 2017-03-15 at 1.16.26 AM

    “Even at my age I wouldn’t snitch anyone out.” Well, your kid is 23, which means you’re probably 38. And if you’re a 38 year old who is still sticking the code of “no snitching” then you should probably reevaluate your life choices. Either that or just go full junior hoodrat and change your profile picture to the dog filter. Just sayin.

     

     

    We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

    Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

    Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

    4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

    Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.10.12 AM

    Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

    screen-shot-2016-12-05-at-8-36-43-pm

    Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

    Join the Discussion

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    Discussion

    1. Turd Burglestein


      Wood! The trick to a girl like Justice is simple. Puerto Rican girls are hot while they are young but by the time they’re 35 they are fat, unemployed and smell like fried green babanas.

      1. Professor Meth's Drooping Mooseknuckle


        You know who else is fat & unemployed? And although my snatch smells more like rotten mackeral, I can fit an entire banana tree up in there and still have room to fist myself….with both hands.

      2. Turd Burglestein


        Speaking of babanas, or maybe bananas, that gets me to thinking about Puerto Rican boys and their stiff pricks….mmmhmmm….that’s the shit that get my old cholesterol-lumpy blood flowing! You think I could entice a young island fella with my clammy complexion and doughy body? Maybe if I show a wad of singles from my oxy transactions I could get to see that meat muscle between his thighs. Mamacita, send your young boy my way!

    2. Turd Burglestein


      Correction : Smell like GREASY fried green bananas………….firsties!

    3. BobnMic


      I’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and…I like to kiss my own butt.

    4. Waste of oxygen


      More of the same, deadbeats and malcontents.

    5. ZephyrCat


      Jesus Christ! The no snitching thing. Again. Love the picture with him and his mom. Beer in hand and a dopey ass grin probably because he’s starting to get a boner. No alcohol problem though, the beer is just a prop. Here’s a fine example of what happens when a 15 year old has a kid. It grows up to be….tristian irvin. Future nobel prize winner. Absentee daddy shoulda pulled out and let sperm-tristian drip on his momma’s face.
      And justis little- At the end of the day this happens to all the best people! HAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, I think every supreme court justice was busted for stealing liquor! It’s on all their resumes! Because “at the end of the day it happens to all the best people”!!!

    6. Strata


      Hey Jackie, I hope your a victim of a crime where a bona fide witness that could bring justice keeps their mouth shut. Anti snitching morons

    7. Talisman


      You’re right TB, you could show a movie on that forehead, and make it a drive in.
      The genius mom with the Mensa spawn is fucking hilarious. Not my boi! Well he was der, but dinotadoonuffin. Well mieda, he was arresticated, ima devistatedestupido…
      YOU FUCKING RACIS SNEECHES….

      1. JohnnyO.


        It’s called a fivehead. Just like a forehead, only bigger.

    8. KJDS


      At least they’re all of legal drinking age – wouldn’t want to have that added to the charges!

  • arrow