Nudniks

Guy Arrested For Molesting Burger King Employee And Pretending To Be A Worcester Cop Has Quite The Facebook Page

 

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Watch out for shady Chesters who think they’re cops…


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Not sure why this guy was at Burger King. He’s already full of whoppers……I’ll see myself out.

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Serious question – did this guy not realize that Sweaty Betty’s was two blocks away? He could grab a nice, saggy pair of Cambridge Street soft serve cones for $10 down the street. And they wouldn’t call the real cops on him. But apparently this guy gets turned on by minimum wage workers who smell like French Fries and Vernon Hill.

Anyway, it’s only a matter of time until he temporarily deactivates his publicly viewable Facebook page after we publish this, so we’ve screenshotted some of the madness. The guy is obviously insane. Like, he really, really thinks he’s a cop:

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He even made posts about how stressed he was as an imaginary cop who didn’t get July 4th weekend off…..

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But why stop at being a cop? It’s go big or go home for Christopher Villa. Somedays he works for Homeland Security:

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Other days he’s a special agent for the FBI:

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This guy is indeed special. VERY special!!

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He’s been honored by the President…

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He also works for Internal Affairs occasionally:

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Because who better to investigate other cops than a guy who isn’t really a cop to begin with?

It’s cool though, because he wear bicycle shorts to the gym

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And he saved France from the terrorists

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Of course the ironic part about being arrested for touching a young girl’s breasts at the Burger King drive through is when you post stuff about your disdain for child molesters…

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Oh yea, and if you’re gonna pretend to be a cop on your Facebook page, you should probably stop shitting on cops on your page….

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Just sayin.

So how did this guy become an imaginary cop to begin with? Simple – he read a book:

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My question is, where are his friends and family to be like, dude, you know you’re not a cop right? Like with this picture he posted right here……

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“Off to work.” 

How come no one was like…….where? Instead we get comments like this:

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Anyway, if you’re gonna be a fake cop, I don’t understand why you’d pull an amateur stunt like this. First of all, you’re gonna get busted grabbing a chick’s Congo bongos. Why not just see what kind of places you can badge your way into? I mean, the world is your oyster. Sky’s the limit. Why not try for free Patriots tickets? Or see if you can get waived in at an overpriced nightclub? Or go out looking for some badge bunnies at the Compass Tavern? At least you might get something out of it that way. But grabbing a chick’s Gerber servers at the drive through? That’s a high risk, low reward endeavor if I’ve ever heard of one.

 

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44 Comment(s)
  • Cocomom
    January 2, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    Thank you for posting this, TBS. I sent it to every young lady in my family. This guy (and guys like him) could fool a girl, given the right circumstances. It’s creepy as Hell. Being warned always helps.

  • Maz
    January 2, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    Why shit on the girl who was sexually assaulted??

  • Adria
    January 2, 2017 at 2:02 pm

    This guy worked at 340 main st. for a while before he was supposedly fired at the beginning of 2016, apparently for drugs… Now I’m wondering if he was an actual employee. He wore a police-like uniform that said Department of Homeland Security. He would spend the majority of his day in front of the building outside, opening the door for people coming and going… Would still see him there after he was “fired”… None of us could figure out what his actual job was…

  • Publius
    January 1, 2017 at 9:43 pm

    More excellent work by TB. This guy is extremely dangerous.

  • Creepy lil fuck
    January 1, 2017 at 8:51 pm

    This guy was a security guard up at the commerce building on Main Street for a while. He got canned about 6 months ago but still pops in every once and a while. As soon as he started working there he told everyone he was a cop and got a little desk to sit at in the front lobby of the building. He mostly monitored, and yelled at, people smoking in front of the building. The guys probably pissed they took away his desk and bathroom key. He seemed like a sketchy little douchebag when he was working there. Always got a weird vibe from him.

    • Adria
      January 2, 2017 at 2:21 pm

      Isn’t the commerce building a few buildings down from 340 main street??? Had a little desk for a few weeks in the lobby, but then desk was gone and he mainly stayed out front… See my other comment…

  • Keith
    January 1, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    LMFAO, u can’t help but notice. The picture where he’s wearing his bicycle shorts appears to be a walmart back room. Look at the photo on the wall. Fuckin loser!!!

  • hahahaohreally
    January 1, 2017 at 1:57 am

    that badge says security officer. has no badge number on it. He’s probably a security guard who fancies himself as a real cop. What a nut job.

  • Reddog
    December 31, 2016 at 10:39 pm

    As I read this story it reminded me of a certain person in the comment section here. Could it be him? I’ve had a few beers,so I’m not sure.

    • BobnMic
      December 31, 2016 at 11:24 pm

      Well if you’re thinking of me my friend Reddog. That would not be me. Happy New Year bud.

  • wabbitt
    December 31, 2016 at 4:36 pm

    That wasn’t Homeland Security. It’s S.H.I.E.L.D. – the fictional agency from the Marvel universe. Nick Fury, Captain America, and what not.

    Dude is still a massive wing nut though.

    • Lola Bunny
      January 1, 2017 at 9:32 pm

      Hahaha! Well that makes total sense, he is obviously also a legit super hero! Hmmmm… he pretty much has the look/stature of Mighty Mouse. But that’s not part of the Marvel clan so…. Oh I know- he is Leech! 4’2″ lives in the sewers, and the name is perfect for him too!

  • Mambo
    December 31, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    He’s obviously mentally retarded and is living an illusion, feel bad to put him on blast on a blog. He won’t take down his public FB, he’s living in another world. He’s parents probably passed away and he doesn’t have the mental capacity to accomplish everything or anyone to look out for him. 100% he’ll have no education and is working some dead end job.

    • January 1, 2017 at 7:36 pm

      You sound like an expert on mental disorders, when did you recieve your PHD? As a parent of child with INTELLECTUAL DISABILITIES, I can assure you they have more sense than this man even with their intellectual deficiencies. Unfortunately most of society seems to have compassion of an ant.

      • Mambo
        January 3, 2017 at 10:00 am

        I do feel sorry for the guy, hence feeling bad TB putting him on blast. I’m sure he has intellectual disabilities worse than your child as well and has less sense. You also don’t need a PHD to come to a conclusion someone is a little slow or else you might just be that slow one.

  • MrSmiley
    December 31, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    I find it hard to believe no one who knew this supreme whacker told him that he was a special kind of loser with all the stupid wanna be photos etc. He probably walked around with a hip badge under a sweatshirt. PC biaaatch at the house of awesome. Remember kids. Friends don’t let friends be whackers.

  • 5150
    December 31, 2016 at 2:55 pm

    Where does he actually work? Does anyone know him? Is he getting SSI disability for being mentally unstable, thus has all this free time to pretend he’s a cop. His fb page is priceless.

  • Dick Hertz from Holden
    December 31, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    5’4″ ? not only a mental midget, my dick is bigger then that

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      December 31, 2016 at 3:50 pm

      What a liability that thing must be!

  • Hoola hoop Godess
    December 31, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    This guy lives in a fantasy world and he should be in an insane asylum!!!

    I can’t stand people who are fakers. I’m a real fire dancing warrior princess and my boyfriend is a real vampire who was raised by wolves. He even has a Tattoo that says ‘El Dracula’ on his neck for proof.

  • Justice
    December 31, 2016 at 1:58 pm

    Is anyone looking for an explanation for all this? THREE words:

    Alcott Street, Worcester!

  • Napoleon complex
    December 31, 2016 at 1:55 pm

    He’s one of many out-there. I always considered them a dangerous bunch. After a while they actually think they’re cops. Thankfully this poseur did not have a car, it would have been tricked out to a police cruiser.

  • NOT a SJW by any means, but...
    December 31, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    Minimum wage who smells like fries and Vernon Hill? A chick’s congo bongos? Gerber servers? Are you fucking kidding me? Once again, THIS TBS author ridicules, humiliates, and makes fun of the FEMALE VICTIM, while laughing off the assault this fatass bag of shit committed. THIS TBS “reporter” seems more appalled that Villa impersonated a police officer than committed a sexual assault. I bet it’s the same guy all the time. Shame on you, TBS. Get rid of this chauvinistic dope!

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      December 31, 2016 at 3:55 pm

      I like his writing style. Anyone who can be that creative about a pair of tits is someone I hold dear to my heart!!

      • Reddog
        December 31, 2016 at 10:45 pm

        you can hold me close to your heart, yes please.

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          December 31, 2016 at 10:55 pm

          Yes, I’m sure you’re thinking about the affection behind it…….lol

    • wabbitt
      December 31, 2016 at 4:31 pm

      It’s called humor.

      It’s not a dick – don’t take it so hard.

    • Lola Bunny
      January 1, 2017 at 3:04 am

      If you’re working at BK you’re going to smell like fries during your shift- fact. “Gerber servers” as a boob name is hysterical.
      And I’ve had my tits grabbed, my ass grabbed, (one time a chick even grabbed my pussy, before Trump made the move famous, hey wait was that you Fiesty? Lol) So ya I was pissed off for a bit but they really weren’t huge “sexual assaults” in my eyes. In the scope of shit women have to endure in life it really wasn’t that big of a deal.

  • Worccountypeep
    December 31, 2016 at 1:38 pm

    Sounds like he is a perfect match for Kate Giorgio!!!

  • HesNotacop
    December 31, 2016 at 1:35 pm

    What’s with the dude’s hands? They look like balloons and he’s always wearing those “tacti-cool” gloves

  • Enlightened
    December 31, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    5’4″ in height? LOL. How did he manage to reach over the drive through window? Step stool?

    • Worccountypeep
      December 31, 2016 at 1:39 pm

      Lmao!!!!!!

    • Cats-paw
      December 31, 2016 at 2:10 pm

      It’s all in the stacked heels.

  • Officer BobnMic
    December 31, 2016 at 1:24 pm

    In my defense, those were some epic titties I grabbed. Just glad she didn’t kick me in my raisin balls though. They’re already pretty shriveled from all the roids I pump.

    • BobnMic
      December 31, 2016 at 2:00 pm

      ^^^ Well when reading this article I automatically knew this one was coming. The price paid for fame I guess. Ha. And this little weasel depicted in the article needs a bitch slap of epic proportions.

      Seriously though have a Happy New Year everybody.

  • Officer BobnMic
    December 31, 2016 at 1:14 pm

    That’s me. I’m finally featured on Turtleboy. I’m famous.

  • Lola Bunny
    December 31, 2016 at 1:06 pm

    “Do you even lift bro?” Hah! Couldn’t resist.
    So ya, the picture with the bicycle shorts is not from the gym. Doesn’t look like any gym I’ve ever seen anyway. It looks like the back room of a Walmart or something.

    • HesNotacop
      December 31, 2016 at 1:37 pm

      He’s in Walmart. Look at this pic behind him… Lol

      • sad sad sad
        January 1, 2017 at 4:59 am

        And he’s not working out. That’s what he wears to work at Walmart! And I hope that’s not a real gun in the other pic.

  • WHATEVUH
    December 31, 2016 at 1:02 pm

    This all started when they closed the mental hospitals. Too many weirdo’s walking around loose without any supervision. Too bad he didn’t ‘resist’ when the cops found him.

    • Didn't take his meds
      December 31, 2016 at 2:06 pm

      Correct, up to about 1980, that’s where his type would be. In a state hospital, many were on the farm working there. At least many did something.

  • Dodge E Wanker
    December 31, 2016 at 12:57 pm

    We threw this scumbag out of our Bar (Ralphs) after he demanded free drinks because he was a “cop”. He was lucky our other bouncer who, works for the US Marshals service wasn’t working that night.

  • Pube Wig
    December 31, 2016 at 12:11 pm

    Where are the pictures of his jacked-up truck? There’s no way he doesn’t drive the official vehicle of all dwarf dudes with tiny pee-pees. This guy definitely grunts when doing curls in the mirror and hangs out with the strong guys at the gym and calls them bro. Just busting balls, bro. You seem fucking cool AF and thank you for keeping the sneakers and baby clothes safe at Greendale Mall, you true American hero.

    • Cruiser is in the shop, on the foot mobile today
      December 31, 2016 at 2:00 pm

      Have to throw in the Napoleon complex, big ego, loud mouth, arrogance, paranoia, babe magnet delusion and emotional intelligence of a 15 year old.

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