• Guy In Red Sweater Desperately Wants To Die While Old Northampton Hippie Sings Song At Ware Meeting About Quabbin’s Rattlesnake Island



    Guy In Red Sweater Desperately Wants To Die While Old Northampton Hippie Sings Song At Ware Meeting About Quabbin’s Rattlesnake Island

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    Yesterday at a Rattlesnake Review Working Group meeting in Ware, people were allowed to speak out for or against a proposed rattlesnake island on Mount Zion in the middle of the Quabbin Reservoir. We wrote about this last year. It’s literally the dumbest idea in the history of mankind. It’s a stupid snake that’s too dumb to survive on its own. I could care less if it goes extinct. That’s how Darwinism works. If you’re a stupid animal that isn’t smart enough to figure out how to eat without being given your own island, then your species doesn’t deserve to exist any longer. If anything, throw them in Vermont, or some dumb state no one cares about. And if we have a spare island in the middle of the Quabbin Reservoir that we wanna store dumb animals on, might I propose our idea of ratchet island? We take all the fupasloths, gutterslugs, laardvarks, cheesehogs, and gravy dumpsters, and we toss them on that island. No rules. No laws. No GoFundMe’s. Just anarchy. We could make money by having tourists from all over the world come and ride a train through the island as they watch the ratchets draw 100 emojis in the sand in their natural habitat. All our problems could be solved.

    Anyway, that’s the argument Turtleboy would use. But a Northampton hippie named Sue Grant apparently had a different method of arguing for keeping rattlesnakes out of the Quabbin Reservoir – singing a song:

    Western MA is a strange and terrible place. I wish I could say that people like Sue Grant were an anomaly, but they’re not. You can drive through Amherst or Northampton or Wendell or Ashfield or Leverett and see no shortage of Sue Grant’s doing yoga with a buddhist monk while eating granola in the middle of town square.

    That video was cringeworthy though. This is why you can’t trust chicks with long gray hair. If you’re gonna go gray, then just get the bob and get it over with. The only broads who are supposed to have long gray hair are witches. You’re not a witch are you Sue Grant?

    But seriously, I can’t believe how many verses she sang. There were several points when I thought she was done, but then she’d just go right back to the chorus. The whole thing was incredibly uncomfortable. There’s nothing worse than someone who sings when no one asked them to sing. Like the guy who whips out the guitar at the campfire and starts singing Nickelback. Seriously, just fuck off already. The expressions from the guy in the red sweater said it all:

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    For the love of God, make it stop!!

    Meanwhile some of the selectmen are giving her the awkward, uncomfortable look, while others are doing their best to avoid eye contact altogether by pretending to take notes like they’re American Idol judges.

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    Not gonna lie, since this was in Ware I was expecting the board members to be a lot more ratchet. And except for farmer Bob, who clearly stopped giving a shit a long time ago, they’re all wearing button up shirts. And none of them have face tattoos. Didn’t know it was possible to take 10 people from Ware, put them in the same room, and not see any visible tattoos. All I know is, they don’t look like anyone from our Top 25 Ware Mugshots blog.

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    The Ware Police Department’s Facebook page is still the greatest page going on the Internet.

     

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    Discussion

    1. Talisman


      Sweet baby Jesus, two and a half minutes of Guantanamo Bay material there. Fucking Akbar would be spilling his guts after 30 seconds. Forward this to the military now

      1. True Reality Speaks


        The Walking Dead could use this the next time they’re torturing Daryl.

        1. Fiesty Turtle Lady


          If you play the walking dead game on your phone, there is a part in the game when a song plays on the radio and you need to make Daryl turn it off……………………this reminds me of that song. lol

          1. Turd Burglestein


            You mean this one?

            1. Fiesty Turtle Lady


              HAHAHAHAHA!!

              This song drove me nuts because it took a few tries for me to beat it. The radio thing came back in another level with cars on fire and Negan I think!

    2. ZephyrCat


      I think that was farmer Bob’s wife. “God damn ye, wench! I told ye to stay home and tend the cows! Who’s watching Bessie?”

      1. Talisman


        The citizens of course will foot the bill

        1. Madcow not Rachel


          That’s Grafton resident and ex State Rep. George Peterson sitting directly in front of Ware’s answer to Beyonce…….. serves him right he’s gotta sit thru this shit. Stepped right up to the trough to suck more off the taxpayers with a phony job at DCR courtesy of Tall Deval.

    3. Brian Albrecht


      I’m a gimp and I like it in my ass.

      1. Turd Burglestein


        Hey Brian, I got relatives in Providence. Maybe we could meet up and exchange dildos.

    4. Noseface


      Think she voted for Trump?

      1. Talisman


        Lol, well, he does fill crevices

    5. get stoned first


      Probability is, if the snakes are reintroduced. Someone, will go to their areas, mess with the snakes and be bitten.

    6. Hanginpossum


      As if she pays taxes

      1. RBS


        And you know she doesn’t?

    7. ZZ Top


      Our cousin, looks like he is in shock, frozen like a statue.

    8. Turtlefan


      Put the rattlesnakes in Brookline!

      1. Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies


        I was thinking in Fauxcahontas’ or Maura Healey’s backyard.

    9. Wtatnuckgangsta


      Original hippies did a lot of drugs. This is the result. We’ll see the next round when these new snowflake hippie spinoffs get to senility.

    10. Troubled Nostrils


      We have Western Diamondbacks where I live that grow 6+ feet long. We found three in our back yard over the course of last summer (albeit small ones, about two feet long). Point is, Timber Rattlers ain’t shit.

      1. Talisman


        I caught snakes and sold them to a local place for cash when I was a kid. Poisonous varieties were Eastern DB, Pygmy Rattlers, Moccasins and Corals. In my twenties, I had a house full of snakes and another guy I knew needed a place, so we became roommates. He had a Western, that was one of the meanest most aggressive snakes I’d ever seen. 2nd only to a Moccasin. He was scared of nothing and every time we opened his enclosure we had to be extremely careful. The only time we could take him out to clean his place was after he had 3 rats in him to slow him down. So, is that the general temperament of those snakes?

    11. John Galt


      Couldn’t agree w TB more. Animals have been going extinct for millions of years. Only the complete & utterly vain think they can change evolution.

      1. Talisman


        Snakes, and most other animals, are far more resilient than some give them credit for. So, not only have some gone extinct, others have survived the worst the planet has dished out.
        Unless mankind goes on a calculated killing spree, or some toxin/disease is involved, they normally find a way to adapt and are fine, That’s especially try of reptiles. Eradicating snakes is nothing like hunting down buffalo. I doubt we could do it without a monumental, self defeating effort since they don’t herd up and graze, so I’m not sure how this rattlesnake roundup would work. Mother Nature is a far more effective killer than man most of the time. Not to mention, dying from a snake bite in North America is an extremely rare occurrence and it doesn’t take a whole lot of sense to avoid it. Leave them alone and they’ll leave you alone, pretty simple. But like you said, vain, self-loathing humans think they can change nature, just like they think they can change the climate.

        1. Talisman


          True of…I hate this fucking phone. About to smash it like a rattlesnake’s head

    12. American Idol Judge


      And no one there bothered to stop this, call someone and get her the medical/psychological help she is so clearly begging for?

      Heartless assholes!

    13. Joe Shmidlap


      You wonder why tigers eat their young

      1. ChrisInShrewsbury


        Last time I saw a mouth like that , it had a hook in it!

        1. RBS


          And did you remove the hook from your mother’s mouth? Was she ok?

    14. BobnMic


      Obviously mentally impaired and not totally cool to rip but that’s just me. Anyway – What can I say that’s the 60’s for ya. Poor woman and I mean that. Sweet thing.

      However I think the dude with the long white beard and the green coat on the left side of the table was adjusting wood. Could be wrong.

    15. Fiesty Turtle Lady


      Guy with white beard is second guessing his decision to wear green coat that slightly matches crazy cat lady’s pants.

      1. Madcow not Rachel


        They are husband and wife…….not sure which one is which………does it really matter???

    16. Twat tickler


      Lol Lord of the Flies, Quabbin reservoir style

    17. WHATEVUH


      Why didn’t anyone on that panel just stand up, immediately grow a set of man-balls and say “ummmm, no, no, no You got something to say, say it, but you aren’t fucking singing. This isn’t a talent show for retarded people. Grow some man-balls out there !

      1. RBS


        Because BALLS don’t make you smart OR courageous. Using the word retard is as offensive as any racial or religious epithet.

        1. I Hate Stupid People


          ^^^^^^^Feminist ALEART. It’s a saying, has been for a LONG time GET OVER IT! How would you like the new saying to go, “Grow a set of reproductive organs”?

    18. Independent Thinker


      How about construct a water source with trees and an island under the dome of the state house (something like what we have in the lobby at St. V’s) and put the rattlers there?

    19. RBS


      Leave her alone, TB. So she sings…big deal. It’s how she conveyed her message….(which by the way seems to align with your thinking about why the snakes shouldn’t be given the island.) My biggest gripe is your continued chauvinistic comments about a woman not being able to have long, gray hair. WHY THE FUCK NOT? Maybe fat guys shouldn’t be able to wear read sweaters. Maybe racist bloggers shouldn’t post pictures holding the Puerto Rican flag on their Facebook page. This is America. She can do whatever the hell she wants. But if TB doesn’t think she’s an attractive woman (I believe you refer to them as smokeshows,) then he just berates them and picks on their appearance. Asshole.

      1. Trump


        Hi Sue!

      2. I Hate Stupid People


        I might be wrong but a town meeting isn’t the place to be busting out your newly released top 10 hit. I don’t think he would have given 2 shits if it was a smokin hot swimsuit model that was singing if 1) It was that bad, 2) It wasn’t a town meeting. Funny is funny and that was fuckin Hysterical. It’s not TB’s fault that the patchouli oil wearing crowd is the one the chooses to do CRAZY stuff like this.

      3. Talisman


        So, as long as she caterwauls a message that YOU agree with, it’s ok. And you’d not be a hypocrite and make snide comments about how appropriate it was if it were a a different message? Since you’re trolling so heavily here, I’m betting you would.
        Here’s a novel idea…If you don’t like this blog and the opinions therein, FUCK OFF and don’t read it. Because, just maybe, your opinions and meaningless accusations of racism, sexism, etc., don’t matter as much as you think they do. You and your fellow SJW turd lickers have thrown those words around so much now, for every little thing that triggers you, that no one cares anymore. Best thing you can do for the planet is go to Mt Zion and repurpose yourself into rat food so the Rattlesnakes can survive on the island.

        1. I Hate Stupid People


          Let me get an AMEN.

          1. Towneedogg


            We have so much going wrong in this town we have people dying of drug overdoses, we have neighborhoods deemed slums, our infrastructure, is borderline falling apart, people need jobs, etc…. and this out of towner decides it is ok to waste time at this meeting singing songs about nonsense, say your comments 1 time and sit the hell down, we got shit to do if you are that starved for attention go over to the art studio on church st. its a beautiful place to sing songs, our town meeting is not the place to waste precious taxpayers minutes singing your same comment verse after verse after verse when you could have spent more time streamlining your comments to get your point across efficiently, But then again only someone who really cared about a cause would actually do that!! Not the place for that crap lady!!

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