Yesterday we asked for the assistance of turtle riders to help identify the 5 scrotum poles who kicked the shit out of one guy at the North Quincy MBTA stop, fracturing his face after the Bruins game last week.
You people went and did what you always do – delivered the goods. Let’s meet these chuds.
Ratchet #1 – Steve Mahon, Norwood via Palo Alto, California
That shirt sure does look familiar.
Yea, he’s the father of two as well. An excellent role model who nearly beat a man to death and left him in the subway with half a face left. He really, really likes the Bruins, he just doesn’t understand that just because they hit strangers doesn’t mean he’s allowed to.
He confirmed after Thursday night’s game at 1:12 in the morning that he was in fact at the game, he got on the jumbotron, he cheered until his voice was wicked pissah, and he identified our next two ratchets.
Ratchet #2 – John Pritoni, Braintree
He’s the President of Pritoni Brother’s Landscape Design, which doesn’t seem to exist. This probably explains why he’s often looking for work on Facebook, and asking people for rides.
Ratchet #3 – Tony Green, Weymouth via Agawam
The Aaron Rodgers doppleganger may or may not be a close personal friend of Tall Deval too.
Ratchet #4 – Stiles Bezema, Wrentham
If you name your kid “Stiles” then you have a 100% chance of being on Turtleboy one day. It is your destiny.
And finally Ratchet #5 looks to be related to Ratchet #2 – Tom Pritoni, Norfolk
$50 says he started it and the rest of them finished it. As you can tell from the bottle of Henny that he shows off to the world like his GED equivalency award, he is the most ratchet of the bunch. It’s no surprise then that he has Google trophies galore. From possession with intent to distribute
To outstanding warrants
To driving with a suspended license
To underage possession
He’s done it all. Add assault and battery and a few more charges to that list while you’re at it. Not like it matters since he’ll be knocking on doors offering to cut your lawn or shovel your snow for the rest of his life. You’ll also notice who got arrested with him for underage booze. Does this guy with him look familiar?
It’s Mikey Frigon, from the Frigon clan.
The same guy whose sister parked in a handicapped spot in Attleboro and swore at a concerned citizen. The same guy who then came to our Facebook page and defended his sister for doing so.
Of course they’re good friends.
The Turtleboy Ratchet Circle of Life is a small world after all.
Name another media outlet that can do what we just did in 12 hours. You can’t. Turtleboy is a public service. We use our resources to bring bad guys to justice. Some people say that we’ve lost our touch because they’ve banned us from Twitter and removed 38 of our Facebook pages. They say we can’t find criminals like this before the police like we used to. But as you can see, the Turtle is still a force to be reckoned with and the #1 provider of Internet justice. We’ve forwarded this information via text to the MBTA Police, but have not heard back. Feel free to spam it all over their Facebook page to let them know the case is solved.
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