High School Basketball Coach Diddles, Falls In Love With Soph Player, Gives Epic Dooshy Interview, Goes To Jail, Daughter Transfers Schools, Beats Mistresses Team
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This isn’t a local story, but it’s still pretty funny nonetheless. This is former Pine-Richland High School basketball coach Cliff Foster:
Pine-Richland is a school just north of Pittsburgh. He was a really good basketball player at a nearby high school before graduating in 2000 and playing college ball. Then he got the gig at PR a couple years ago and the team started doing well. He even had the opportunity to coach his own daughter.
But unfortunately for Cliff (who the hell named their kid Cliff in the 80’s?) he lacks bodily self control and started diddling a player who was a sophomore at the time. He took her to pound town a few times, including on AAU trips where she slept in his hotel room and a weekend getaway to Philly to look at colleges. Next thing you know he’s doing the perp walk and giving one of the most epically dooshy interviews in the history of live television:
Sure, he could’ve just said, “no comment” and walked away. But instead he decided to say, “I’m not the first dude to make a mistake. Couple bad nights, but, it’ll all come out.” I’m sure his lawyer loved that one.
Anyway, Cliffy had a no contact order after he was arrested. But because he’s such a brilliant person he thought that having his sister contact the victim on his behalf wouldn’t violate the order. But it did:
Foster and his sister contacted the victim repeatedly between late November and early January. On Nov. 26, his sister called and asked how the girl was doing and “implied” Foster wanted to speak with her. Then the teen got another call from the sister’s phone number, but Foster was on the line, investigators said. Over that month-and-a-half, the girl told detectives there were four to five text messages and three to four phones calls with Foster that lasted about an hour. He also wrote a letter to the girl, in which he said, “I love you forever,” and included a silver necklace with a key medallion.
What. A. Tool.
Seriously, it’s one thing if you boink one of your players. It’s wrong, and it’s a serious crime. But at least you can use the excuse that your Johnson was doing the thinking.
Not this ding-dong though. He fell in love. With a child. And knowing he was facing jail time, what does he do? Sends her silver necklaces with I love you notes. Because apparently this guy has read one too many Nicholas Sparks books and thinks that “true love” will one day bring him together with the love of his life. Wicked smart.
Anyway, he’s in jail right now doing a two year stint. And for the rest of his life he has to register as a sex offender, have no contact with the victim, and can’t use the Internet until a judge says he can. But he also has a daughter who played for Pine-Richland. Things got a little bit awkward since she was basically being forced to be teammates with the mistress who broke up her parents’ marriage. So she ended up going to a catholic school and local rival. Then Cliffy’s former sister-in-law posted this the other day:
Love it. Cliffy’s daughter made the district championship, and his former lover’s team is sitting at home. Oh well, could be worse. They could be sitting in a jail cell writing love letters to high school chicks. What a happy statutory ending that was.
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