Homeless Cambridge Fupasloths Who Won’t Rehome Pets Have 2 GoFundMes To Move To Germany, Collect Free Stuff There, Get Gender Reassignment Surgery
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Meet Blake Loren Newton and her/his husband Justin Newton:
They’re homeless and usually rest their head at night in the center of Cambridge. Yes, that’s right. Only in America can you be morbidly obese, own a laptop, have no children, an able bodied husband, and STILL be homeless. Oh, and from the looks of it they do NOT have that “disease” that makes you spend all your rent money on smack, so what is their excuse? Don’t worry, they’ve got PLENTY.
They’ve also got two active GoFundMe’s. Here’s the first:
The explanation on the GFM page is one of the most longest, excuse filled rants you will ever see:
Here’s a summary:
- Her able bodied husband does nothing and collects from the government.
- She’s “sick” because she weight 10,000 pounds, so she can’t work.
- Her husband can’t get a job because he needs to take care of her full time.
- She used to have a job but…..she doesn’t say what happened to that. But the job is waiting for her there whenever she wants it.
- When they lost their home they moved four hours north to Burlington, VT, where it’s freezing all the time so naturally it’s a great place for two homeless people to move to.
- She couldn’t get shelter there or in New Hampshire due to her “disability.”
- They moved back to Mass because we’re more generous about handing out free shit here, and there’s more people to scam.
- Justin had a “mental breakdown” so they got another pet and called it a service animal.
- She wears diapers because of her disability. His disability is hereditary neck, knee, and shoulder pain, as well as depression.
- There are no programs to help people like them.
- She’s not eligible for SSI, because being fat and lazy isn’t a disability.
- They need food for their multiple pets, who they force to be homeless and hungry with them, and they refuse to allow the animals to be rehomed.
- They don’t want to beg but no one wanted to buy any of their crappy art sold in their “business.”
- They both have iPhones but claim that they were a gift, and their relatives, who live nearby and won’t let them live there, pay the monthly bill.
- People sometimes pay for their hotel rooms.
But wait, the second GoFundMe is even better:
Oh yea, this seems like a good cause. Here’s your summary:
- Justin, Blake, and their gender fluid friend Alexis need $7,000 to move to Germany to forward their business, because no one wants their shit in America, but the Germans have a thing for grundle smoked street art.
- The money will pay for their four month “education,” where he will be majoring in art, as well as mastering five languages.
- She/he will be majoring in business, as well as learning one language (Japanese) and taking classes in architectural design and art history.
- Alexis will be majoring in business and social work.
- Majoring in these things in four months will guarantee employment in Germany, because there is no such thing as being unemployed in Europe.
- They’re moving to Europe because it’s impossible not to be homeless in America, no matter how hard you try.
- They’re moving to Germany because their government has tons of free giveaways that America does not.
- They will be purchasing Eurorail passes in order to go country to country selling their handmade “jewelry,” because apparently the goal here is to become full time gypsies.
- They need roundtrip refundalbe plane tickets in case they can’t get a job in three months, even though they said earlier that employment is a done deal.
- They will keep all their shit in a storage unit, and if they stay in Europe it will all be sold off, so make sure you get to that yard sale bright and early, because urine soaked sleeping bags don’t grow on trees.
- The pets will naturally be coming to Europe with them.
Remember this the next time someone brags about how great Europe is. Everyone gets free college and healthcare and blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile this has made them so much a magnet for every ratchet in the entire world, that lazy, morbidly obese people in America are willing to set up GoFundMe’s for the sole purpose of moving there and collecting free shit.
Her list of excuses for being homeless is the longest you will ever see as well:
- She was hit by a truck, so she walks with canes and wheelchairs.
- She has polysytic ovarian syndrome, which makes her weight 490 pounds.
- She has water retention and is hypoglycemic.
- She has to eat terrible fast food because they’re too poor to afford healthy food.
- She needs a bathing suit, because even though she’s too obese to get a job or defacate in a toilet, she still has a membership to the YMCA and can swim.
Oh, and according to her 15 minute long feel bad for me video, she wants to get the female to male surgery, but her insurance won’t pay for it.
Luckily there is a Facebook app for that:
She also went to every high school that has ever existed:
If only she wasn’t cursed with white skin, she’d be able to hit up Didi Delgado for some of that reparation cash. But she’s got that white privilege, so it’s really up to her to figure it out on her own.
She must have a really good data plan on her phone, because Blake posts on Facebook more than the Queen Cheesehog herself. Usually it’s just her complaining about how bad rich people are to poor people,
Instructions on how to avoid misgendering her,
Complaining about how misgendering her makes her triggered
Links to her various fundraisers:
She also spends a good deal of time complaining that they don’t get enough in food stamps
arguing with people who tell her to rehome their pets
Because the pets are “emotional support animals” and their “children”:
And explaining to people how it’s possible to be both homeless and morbidly obese:
But despite these hardships she/he is still able to throw birthday parties
Make laniards explaining her/his preferred pronouns
And of course have weddings
The bottom line is these are two people in their mid 20’s who easily could be working, but instead have chosen to be homeless. Unlike Turtleboy and others reading this, they don’t have tiny human beings to take care of, and they are already collecting from the government by milking their “diseases” that prevent them from “working.” Honestly, I’m not even against the GFM to Europe. The taxpayers are gonna spend a lot more than $7K on these leeches by the time it’s all said and done. Might as well load their asses on a steamship to Germany so they can become Angela Merkel’s problem. Just leave the pets here so they can find real owners who will actually take care of them instead of dragging them down with them.