All-Star Criminals

Human Pubefarm Arrested Breaking Into Auburn Church And Homes Looks Like He Got The Dooshnozzle Starter Kit For Christmas

Human Pubefarm Arrested Breaking Into Auburn Church And Homes Looks Like He Got The Dooshnozzle Starter Kit For Christmas

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MassliveAn Auburn man is accused of breaking into a church in Auburn after authorities said he was discovered walking away from another attempted break-in wearing a glove and carrying a screwdriver. A man called the Auburn Police Department around 8:15 a.m. Saturday and said a man had entered the front entrance of his home.

“The homeowner could hear the suspect trying to gain access into another locked interior door and eventually fled,” police said. “The homeowner gave a detailed description of the suspect as he left the property walking away on Hampton Street toward Worcester.”

Officer Kendall Perreault headed to the area and located the suspect, later identified as 23-year-old Mark Robert Riley of Auburn. Riley, according to police, was caught in the parking lot shared by the North American Martyrs Church and a senior housing complex. “The suspect was wearing a latex glove and had a screwdriver and knife in his possession,” police said.Riley was seen checking out other homes in the area, police said.

The pastor of the North American Martyrs Church on 8 Wyoma Drive told police the locked interior door to the church had been forced open. The door had tool marks that matched the screwdriver found on Riley, police said. On Saturday afternoon, church officials were checking to see if anything was stolen.

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Breaking into churches in broad daylight in little old Auburn is a whole new level of ratchetry. As is this project maggot’s Facebook page. And from the looks of it he got the dooshnozzle starter kit for Christmas.

Jorts?

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Check.

Vokestache?

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Check.

Flat brimmed hat?

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Gums that are doing their best job to hang out to the remaining pieces of enamel that he calls teeth?

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Facebook posts about running from the cops?

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Declarations of anti-snitching life policy?

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Vague questions foreshadowing future arrests?

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Gratuitous use of the n word and a devotion to Henny?

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Blanket statement about dissatisfaction with “fake ass n words”

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General announcement about whether or not he will allow anyone to punk him down.

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Uttering the phrase, “I ain’t about that life” before immediately delving into that life the next day?

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Declaration on whether or not he is in fact playing any more?

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Periodic posts announcing most recent releases from county jail?

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Check.

Throwback pictures from childhood wearing FUBU brand muumuu foreshadowing future as walking bacon grease fire?

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Check.

Apparently this chud recently moved here from Lake Placid NY after doing a brief stint in Tennessee. If you see him feel free to throw poop on him until he decides that Central MA is no place for pubefarms like him. Unless he wants to move to Webster. Then he can walk around looking like a Clearasil commercial and breaking into churches with a screwdriver and he won’t look out of place.

 

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19 Comment(s)
  • J
    March 15, 2017 at 11:48 am

    Here you go Turtle Boy

    This is the scumbag who stole thousands from our Local Charity for Dogs – New England All Breed Rescue at the Twisted Fork and he also stole toys from our toy drive during the holidays.

    He was a employee at the Fork and my wife and I trusted him and it felt like we got kicked in the gut, when we finally saw the video of him stealing.

    We always sent him home with food every night, extra cash when we had it, even clothes. One of our new employees, over the holidays when my wife and I were on vacation, saw him taking the cash from our donation bucket and confronted him – His response was “those are MY tips screw the dogs

    Our servers were also missing money during this time. We all trusted him.

    Our employee informed us when we returned, we set this scum bag up and he was arrested.

  • Barbara
    March 14, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    This breaks my heart.

  • Barbara
    March 14, 2017 at 5:45 pm

  • Doctor Hot
    March 14, 2017 at 3:18 pm

    He’d fit in in Palmer as well

  • Doctor Hot
    March 14, 2017 at 3:14 pm

    Webster is always getting the doodoo. This guy would fit in in Palmer as well.

  • paul
    March 14, 2017 at 9:42 am

    Auburn, its the new Brockton. What a shit hole that town is turning into.

  • Independent Thinker
    March 14, 2017 at 8:56 am

    I have no use for those who break into people’s houses. Their supporters will continue to defend them and to make excuses for them. That is why the gun laws need to be changed. You should not need any type of permit to have a gun at home. If you break into someone’s home, you deserve to be shot. And if you are a hood rat committing a crime with a gun, you deserve the death penalty. That’s how we will clean up society and rid ourselves, once and for all, of human trash. The same thing should apply to drug dealers.

    • Mirror Mirror
      March 14, 2017 at 11:16 am

      Never gonna happen in this state. Too much money to be made profiting from the permanent underclass the Dems have created

  • Strata
    March 14, 2017 at 7:05 am

    Facebook gives a forum for some people to display how pathetic they are. Most people wouldn’t be so loud and outspoken if they were such a burden on society, but at least it helps a broad range of people identify true losers.

  • Hugh G. Reckshin
    March 14, 2017 at 6:40 am

    Dude looks like a half-assed Jessie Pinkman.

  • WHATEVUH
    March 14, 2017 at 5:13 am

    his mom should have swallowed

    • Turd Burglestein
      March 14, 2017 at 6:18 am

      Or taken it in the ass.

      • Turd Burglestein
        March 14, 2017 at 9:49 am

        As I proudly know all about 😀 My asshole looks like a manhole on a work day.

        • Hammerhead's Gaping Anus
          March 14, 2017 at 10:45 am

          Nobody can out gape my ass though. I’ve had marathon lengths of cock run through this thing.

  • Barry
    March 13, 2017 at 11:40 pm

    That guy looks like he went from 12 to 35 in three years.

    • Your Mom's Pet Turtle
      March 14, 2017 at 12:24 am

      county jail will do that to ya kid.

    • Kibbutz
      March 14, 2017 at 12:42 pm

      Crystal Meth will do that.

      • Otto Parts
        March 14, 2017 at 12:47 pm

        “If I went to jail, what would you think I did?”
        Gee I don’t know….raped a dog behind Rent-A-Center?

  • Thomas Doubting
    March 13, 2017 at 11:37 pm

    let’s do the math here folks. What’s the common denominator in 99% of these stories? Welfare (DTA), Sec8, EBT, DCF, SNAP, etc, etc. An alphabet soup of services paid for by the hard working tax payers of Massachusetts. Yes, I know there are many deserving people benefiting from these services but the sad irony is that there are just as many people scamming the system draining tax dollars from those needing them. Lately, it seems the scammers are getting very easy to spot selling their benefits online. Turtleboy shows us how easy every day. Do ANY of these people get dropped from the gravy train?. Sounds simple, but politics never are…..

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