Mitt Romney is the guy who couldn’t beat Obama, so why would any Republican give a shit about what he thinks of Donald Trump?

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So Mitt Romney gave a big speech today in a last ditch attempt to try to stop democracy by whining about Donald Trump. If you missed it here it is in its entirety:

“Here’s what I know: Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud,” Romney said. “His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University. He’s playing members of the American public for suckers: He gets a free ride to the White House, and all we get is a lousy hat.”

Romney said that “dishonesty is Donald Trump’s hallmark,” pointing to his “bullying, the greed, the showing off, the misogyny, the absurd third-grade theatrics.”

Alright, first of all, it boggles my mind that ANYONE gives a shit about Mitt Romney. Dude, Barrack Obama wiped the floor with you. Wasn’t even close. And this was two years after the Republicans took over the House of Representatives and two years before they took over the Senate. You literally had all the momentum in the world and an opportunity to fulfill every Republicans wet dream – repealing Obamacare. But you failed. Four years before that you got smoked by John McCain in the primary, and then he got smoked by Obama. How can you even show your face after that? That’s emasculating. Anyone who would even sit and listen to a word this guy has to say has to be considered a loser too. It’s like Rex Ryan lecturing Bill Belichick about how to coach.

It would be one thing if George W. Bush got up there and gave a speech like this. George Bush was at least elected 1.5 times. He’s a winner. Romney is a loser. No one wants to hear from a loser.

Then there was that awkward thing that happened four years ago when he graciously accepted Trump’s endorsement for President:

Mitt didn’t seem to think Trump was a phony and a joke back then. But the problem with Trump is that he doesn’t play by the rules. He gives zero fucks about anything. No matter what happens in this election it’s already gonna go down in the history books as the election that changed politics forever. This is why people like Romney are freaking out, and it’s just such a bad look. People like Mitt have worked their way into the establishment by playing by the rules and working their way up. Trump got to where he is right now by making fun of them.

Then there’s the part where Mitt whines about Trump’s use of “cussing” and “profanity,”

“Imagine your children or your grandchildren acting the way he does. Haven’t we seen what happens when those in powers fail to display honorable conduct.”

See that? That’s why Obama got elected twice. Because Republicans think that people still care about stuff like “honorable conduct.” We don’t. We like to laugh. We have a sense of humor. Our grandchildren aren’t electing a president, we are. Normal people curse, which is another reason that Trump is appealing to people. Mitt Romney comes across like a plastic doll. It’s like he’s not even a real person. Naturally then Mitt Romney would never curse or display honorable conduct, because that would require a personality.

The best part is that democrats are freaking out about Trump. Hey democrats, I got news for you – you should be a lot more threatened and worried about Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio getting elected than you should Trump. Those two were the ones who PROUDLY participated in the government shutdown because they’re unwilling to compromise. Rubio’s commercials scare the shit out of me. You know, the ones where he says,

“It’s time for America to be the greatest country in the world……..AND ACT LIKE IT!!!” 

He’s like, gritting his teeth when he says that. It’s like, whoa dude. Simma down. Ya know what that is code for? Spending more of your tax dollars on another aircraft carrier that we don’t need instead of investing that money into underfunded public schools. Ted Cruz talked about bombing ISIS relentlessly to see if “sand glows in the dark.” What you’re almost guaranteed to get with those guys is more division and endless war in the Middle East. And I’m sick of seeing my friends in the armed services coming back from those God forsaken countries all fucked up because of the shit they saw over there.

The liberals should WANT Trump. He’s by far the most moderate of the three real candidates. He used “good” in the same sentence as “Planned Parenthood” on more than one occasion. That’s literally never happened to a Republican candidate for President before.

And all that wall shit? None of that is real. You should know that by now. It’s just a lie he’s telling because he’s a businessman and he realizes that rednecks love them some good wall talk. A businessman makes money by selling products to people that the people want. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good product, they just have to want it and he has to provide it.

Trump doesn’t waste our time talking about non-issues like gay marriage. Instead he’s quietly done something that no politician has done since the 90’s – started talking about tariffs again. America has been getting ripped off by free trade via NAFTA ever since the Clinton administration. Every single candidate for President has supported NAFTA since then, republican and democrat. As a result we’ve lost hundreds of thousands of jobs that have gone to countries where labor costs are cheaper because there’s no minimum wage, no child labor laws, and certainly no safe workplace regulations. Because why wouldn’t you outsource your business to another country where costs are cheaper and then sell it to Americans without having to pay a tariff?

This is the part of Trump that appeals to Turtleboy. Not the bullshit with the wall or kicking out all the illegals.

Look the more people tell me how dangerous it is to vote for Trump, the more I kind of want to. The more losers like Mitt Romney tell me that only a sucker votes for Trump, the more I want to see what it feels like to be one of those suckers. Because the last thing I wanna do is listen to anything Mitt Romney has to say about anything.

At the end of the day, Mitt Romney, Charlie Baker, and every other Republican out there who has pledged to not support Trump, is gonna go into the voting booth in November and vote for him anyway. Because they don’t like Donald Trump, but they’ll come to terms with the fact that he’s the only thing standing in the way of four years of Hillary Clinton muumuus. Ultimately they are the ones who are frauds.

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