All-Star Criminals

Jess Mendoza Is Insufferable And Only Had Her Job Because She Fills In Two Diversity Checkboxes

Jess Mendoza Is Insufferable And Only Had Her Job Because She Fills In Two Diversity Checkboxes

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Baseball is easily the most boring sport of the four major sports to watch right now. But the one thing they do better than any other league is their All-Star weekend. It’s the only game that actually somewhat resembles the same kind of sport they play in games that actually matter. And the Home Run Derby is better than any skills exhibition in hockey or basketball. Unfortunately last night Chris Berman did not do the commentary for the derby, and was replaced by Jess Mendoza – a professional SJW who just so happens to be the least talented sports analyst of all time.

Look, Chris Berman is a two trick pony. He does the back-back-back thing for the home run derby and he does highlights on Sunday night during NFL season. But he does them both well. I don’t like watching a home run derby without back-back-back. He also occasionally provided some insight, and could at least give viewers random factoids about ghosts of home run derby past.

Not Jess Mendoza though. That’s because Jess Mendoza doesn’t have her job at ESPN because she’s talented or has any clue what she’s talking about. She has her job because 1) Curt Schilling’s politics don’t align with ESPN’s, and 2) she checks off two diversity checkboxes. So they fired him and hired her. And listening to her speak ruins every sports event she’s ever appeared on. Last night was no exception:

Naturally she’s hiding behind the “girl power” card:

In a recent interview with Teen Vogue, Mendoza speaks about the criticism she routinely receives. As the first ever female MLB color analyst, she explains her desire to serve as a standard-bearer for young women in sports. 

“I really believe that’s why I need to be in this position, because … if I were to talk to a young girl right now that’s like, ‘You’re doing this to hopefully create an opportunity for me to be in this position,’ I would tell her, ‘I’m doing everything I can. I am going to fight for you, I’m going to work my butt off for you.’ I want these girls to know that I’m never going to take this for granted,” she says.

God I hate this. Look, Turtleboy is a family feminist blog. Everyone knows that. We love women, and we want to see women get a fair opportunity in all aspects of life. But it would be GREAT if the women they kept throwing at us weren’t the most God-awful succubuses walking the earth today.

Seriously, Hillary Clinton, Liz Warren, Sarah Palin, Jemele Hill, Erin Andrews – why do these have to be the women who “break barriers?” There’s more than 3 billion people walking this earth that don’t have a spam javelin between their legs. Surely this is not the best the female gender has to offer.

We’re talking about a simple minded SJW, who of course believed Adam Jones’ lie about hearing a racial taunt at Fenway because of the “current political climate from the last election.” This is a woman who goes on Chelsea Handler for girl talk:

This is not someone who has her job because she’s good at it. She has her job because she’s a woman. That’s it.

This is why I didn’t want Hillary to be the “first female President.” Because my daughters should have a better woman to look up to than Hillary Clinton. And little girls who want to get into sports broadcasting should be able to look up to someone who is good at their job, instead of some airhead who got her job because her last name sounds ethnic and she’s easy on the eyes.

Like I said, I’m all for more women in everything. And that’s the fucked up part about seeing people like Jess Mendoza get ahead in life. They’re not the most qualified women out there. Linda Cohn is capable. Jackie McCollum is capable. Pam Cross is capable. Nikki Haley is capable. These are the women who could be in the spotlight instead of morons like Sarah Palin, Liz Warren, and Jess Mendoza.



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23 Comment(s)
  • beefy
    July 14, 2017 at 1:52 am

    Is Jess Mendoza a man? Aside from the apparent lack of sports knowledge, she looks pretty beefy.

  • Wwy
    July 13, 2017 at 12:40 am

    only kike mentalities can take remy over anybody,the kikes ruined american minds,sad.

  • Wwy
    July 12, 2017 at 2:12 am

    A non athletic kike and a former pro is usually the tandem but Boston has Remy so we can’t say much. Although his son made us Boston strong or was that Hernandez.

    • DeusVult88
      July 12, 2017 at 8:19 am

      At least Hernandez did us a favor by getting rid of a nigger. Then in his final act, he got rid of a Puerto Rican!

  • BobnMic
    July 12, 2017 at 12:52 am

    ESPN Zone at Times Square NYC was a favorite Super Bowl party destination back in the day. Had to make reservations way ahead of time. That’s how popular those places used to be. Great food, tall cold beers and a monster wall of televisions and great loud sound. A Man Cave heaven. What the hell it’s Times Square right? Do it up!

    No now longer. Most of those establishments closed last time I checked. Went to the one in Baltimore and Las Vegas. All gone.

    That sorts of sums it up where ESPN is heading. A sinking ship. Going nowhere. Their coverage of the Home Run Derby last night was a joke. I personally thought that Chris Berman was insufferably annoying with all of that back, back back bullshit but it did NOT improve at all. I now just watch and turn the volume down. I knew Aaron Judge was going to win it. I just wanted to see by how much minus idiocy coming from the speakers that’s all.

  • adora
    July 11, 2017 at 8:18 pm

    man face + man arms = man

  • That's stupid
    July 11, 2017 at 7:46 pm

    Can’t stand her myself,but she did won gold and silver in Olympic softball for usa. Talk about who doesn’t research or fact check.

    • StormHund1488
      July 11, 2017 at 9:13 pm

      So she’s a lezzie too, then? Send to her the loony bin, stick some electrodes to her head and tuna-hole and turn up the juice until she either becomes normal or fries.

  • White Nationalist Turtle Rider
    July 11, 2017 at 6:57 pm

    Kirk and Callahan were spot on: this dumpsterslut belongs nowhere near the game. Women commentators are fucking useless.

    • DeusVult88
      July 11, 2017 at 8:52 pm

      Women in general are useless except for breeding/child-rearing and homemaking. Really no point in educating them past the eighth grade.

      • Taj
        July 11, 2017 at 10:43 pm


        • DeusVult88
          July 11, 2017 at 11:37 pm

          My hot-ass tradwife and our two beautiful 100% Aryan daughters beg to differ, “Taj”, you dot-headed inferior. Anyway, shouldn’t you be fielding tech support calls right now, or are you on a bathroom break, AKA shitting in the street?

          • Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies
            July 15, 2017 at 8:38 pm

            You can tell when school is out for summer and all the 13-yr olds start trolling in the comments. Go back to Barstool where you’re amongst your own.

  • StormHund1488
    July 11, 2017 at 5:17 pm

    The only thing her mouth should be doing is being wrapped around the barrel of a gun for being a greasy fucking beaner. Get the monkeys and roaches out of baseball, no matter what sex they are!

  • Pops Zadinia
    July 11, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    You left out Katherine Tappen. Who got her start on NESN, and now work for the NHL network and NBC Sports. She not only is the smartest female hockey analyst, but she also is a brilliant host for NBC’s Notre Dame Football shows.

    If you are looking for a strong female, in this field, for little girls, and young women alike, to look up to, LOOK NO FURTHER!!!

  • Maggie the Cat
    July 11, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    Are you sure she’s female? Those shoulders and upper arms belong on a man.

  • Strata
    July 11, 2017 at 3:55 pm

    When I was a kid I liked Baseball, and followed it. But it’s become boring, & WAY TOO long games that crawl at a snail’s pace …. this sport is actually declining in popularity. Up to 4 hours a games with a shitload of pitching changes and too much time between pitches …… boring

    • I Luv Putin
      July 12, 2017 at 9:22 am

      I tried to watch the all-star game last night, but it put me to sleep in the first inning.

  • Mick
    July 11, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    Masculine, looks like a male in drag.

  • Slimfast
    July 11, 2017 at 2:28 pm

    which two diversity checkboxes are you referring to? Fat and unattractive?

    • White Pride White Power
      July 12, 2017 at 11:19 am

      1. Worthless slut trash whore bitch


      2. Dumpster wetback

  • Murt Burful
    July 11, 2017 at 2:02 pm

    She is a definite 100% would NOT

  • JoeMomma
    July 11, 2017 at 1:59 pm

    My solution for ESPN’s suckyness is to just never ever tune in that station.

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