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I’ve never had anything against Kevin Love before. I always liked his game and obviously last summer I was getting a Celtics pants tent just thinking of that big gulug wearing green this year. But of course he ended up with LeBron James in Cleveland instead, because that’s just how the NBA works. And when you team up with Bron-Bron you instinctively turn into a whiny little naniburger. That’s what Kevin Love did yesterday when he claimed Kelly Olynyk intentionally dislocated his shoulder during this play:

“I thought it was a bush-league play. I have no doubt in my mind he did it on purpose. That’s just not a basketball play. The league will take a look at it and it better be swift and just.”

First of all, is there anything more emasculating than having your shoulder separated by Kelly Olynyk? Even if he did do it on purpose, which he clearly didn’t, you’re admitting that this guy right here:

Gonzaga’s Kelly Olynyk, of Canada, looks on during a news conference after practice for a third round game of the NCAA college basketball tournament, Friday, March 22, 2013, in Salt Lake City. Gonzaga is scheduled to play Wichita State on Saturday. (AP Photo/Rick Bowmer)

somehow found a way to cause you pain. It doesn’t get much softer than Kelly Olynyk. What Kevin Love is doing is basically crying that his sister beat him up and he’s telling Mommy NBA that the punishment better be “swift and just.” LOL.

Hey idiot – that play is literally as routine as you get. Two white guys going after a loose ball. It looks like Love elbows him in the gut while they both go for the ball, causing Olynyk to put on his sad face:

Then Olynyk, who is in such pain because he is a 7-foot va-jay-jay, goes to grab his own stomach, and takes Love’s arm along for the ride:

Shit happens. Welcome to sports numbnuts.

Meanwhile Kevin Love’s teammates are acting like savages on the court. Here’s what old friend sad Kendrick Perkins did:

And somehow he was allowed to stay in the game after that. At this point in his career Perk is nothing less than an ogre. He’s like every dumbass bouncer at the club you’ve ever seen. He plays the meathead because it’s his only useful function. Didn’t hear a peep from our boy Kevin Love about that one.

How bout this one from J.R. Smith?

It doesn’t get much grimier than that. What an absolute piece of garbage J.R. Smith is. Remember, this is the same guy who tweeted to a 16 year old girl, and asked her if she was “trying to get the pipe?”

Anyone who refers to their schmenzer as “the pipe” is a professional asshole. The funny part is that this whole thing is just so Cleveland it hurts. Now the Love-less, Pipe-less Cavs  have to play the Bulls with a healthy Derrick Rose. It would be so fitting if they lost to them because they were so consumed with a below .500 team that snuck into the playoffs because everyone else in the Eastern Conference is a walking abortion.

Let’s be honest, the Celtics weren’t even close to being ready to take a single game from this team. Bron-Bron could’ve done it all by himself. Their goal going into this series should’ve been to not get injured. That’s it. Because even though one of our moron writers thought the Celtics would take this series, there was no way in hell that was happening.

The bottom line is we now have even more reason to root against Bron-Bron and the terrible, God-forsaken city of Cleveland. If they make it past the Bulls I would LOVE (no pun intended) to see them play Paul Pierce and the Wizards, because there’s no way The Truth is losing to this team full of turd sandwiches.

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