• Follow us on Facebook

  • Machiabelly And The 413 Hoodrat Patrol Film Themselves Smoking Blunts In Springfield Walmart Because They’re Just Edgy Like That



    Machiabelly And The 413 Hoodrat Patrol Film Themselves Smoking Blunts In Springfield Walmart Because They’re Just Edgy Like That

    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

     

     

     

     

     

    I’ve never been to the Springfield Walmart before. This video is one of the million reasons why:

    I remember my first blunt. These guys are so cool man. Smoking pot IN THE WALMART!!! Rebels!!

    Mother fucker’s wearing a participation medal in the store. A metaphor for his failed existence. If only his mother had gotten a Planned Parenthood participation trophy.

    The guy filming, Angel Maldonado, is a real winner too. That’s why he’s always posing for pictures at glamorous locales, such as Oscar the Grouch’s Springfield summer home

    Fine dining establishments in the 413

    Catching some rays in his fishing capris

    And smoking more blunts in his Section 8 apartment.

    Oh, and he’s an amazing philosopher:

    Deep shit right there. That’s why his street name is Machiabelly.

    Look, I’m 1,000% pro-blunts. But doing something like this at Walmart wouldn’t even be funny to 16 year old Turtleboy, and 16 year old Turtleboy thought everything was hilarious. This is just stupid for the purpose of being stupid. I’m not saying they should be arrested for this, but it would be pretty funny if they got themselves arrested for voluntarily putting this video on the Facebook machine. Hope they don’t take it down!!

     

    We urge you to support the following local businesses. They provide terrific services for the community!

    Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

    Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

    Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

    Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM

    screen-shot-2016-12-05-at-8-36-43-pm

    unnamed (1)

     

    4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

     

     

     

    Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

    Join the Discussion

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    Discussion

    1. CJT


      Machibelly. Omg. I’m crying. We’re do you guys come up with this shit.

    2. Brian


      I am guessing these two had to leave after they took pics cuz neither of these two scumbags could afford anything there

    3. Long Arm of the Law


      Plenty of money for weed, booze, and trips to Wal-Mart. But not enough money to pay their own way.

    4. 413 Hoodrat


      How the fuck did he ever make it to the ocean? The PVTA don’t run to the beach!

    5. TDF


      “If only his mother had gotten a Planned Parenthood participation trophy.”

      Best. Line. EVER!!!

    6. Hemperors New Clothes


      In the fabric/craft section too. Think they make their own clothes or just too weak to film in a section that people actually shop in?

    7. The Connoisseur


      Blunts and are for poor people to mask the taste of dirt weed

    8. Typical


      I am from CT and moved to Springfield about two years ago. I recently just embarked on my own shopping trip to Springfield’s Walmart after getting sick of driving to the Westfield Walmart location anytime I needed board games for my step-son’s entertainment. Needless to say, I’m embarrassed to be associated with some of these people. The typical attire (besides the $2 white tee that these losers exhibit in their video) happen to be Sponge Bob velvet pajama pants. I thought for a second I might be in the wrong line as I contemplated life and patiently waited for the Cashier to fulfill a transaction that should have taken 30 seconds max but her three inch nails prohibited her from making any true contact with the touch screens. Here and there you’ll see someone dressed normally who is likely also embarrassed to be seen sharing the aisles with these animals. Oh, and god forbid you go in there looking like you showered and you have more than $100 to your name – the side eye stares you receive is enough to never make you want to go back. Let me just make two points here – this location plays reggaeton on their loud speaker. Yes, you heard me correctly. I’m sure corporate headquarters would support this. Secondly, the reason these losers got away with smoking throughout the store is because there is little personnel to be found. Truly, you could dedicate an entire year of blogs to this shit show store.

      1. bigdaddy


        I am not rich but fortunate enough to be able to afford to spend a few more dollars at Target than walk into the shit shows that most Walmarts are

    9. Tina


      Looks to me like some kids who probably just skipped school and are just boys being boys.

    10. Sloppy


      They must have had the day off from work.

    11. ElJefe72


      Man, I wish I could be part of the Honeycomb Kids gang!!

    12. Independent Thinker


      Unfortunately, this seems to be the hoodrat mentality, and nothing will ever change until we try something drastic, such as extermination.

      I’ve been an advocate of the death penalty for drug dealers. Perhaps poisoning the drug supply should also be tried. We can’t do much for current addicts, but we can do something to prevent future generations from becoming addicts.

  • Heidi Wellman For Senate

  • arrow