Malden Chick With Litter Of Illegitimate Kids Accused Of Shooting Meth While 9 Months Pregnancy, Selling Drugs And Food Stamps, By MBTA Fare-Evading Babysitter Friend

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Malden Chick With Litter Of Illegitimate Kids Accused Of Shooting Meth While 9 Months Pregnancy, Selling Drugs And Food Stamps, By MBTA Fare-Evading Babysitter Friend

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Last week, we were introduced to a gutterslug by the name of Felicia Farruggia who demanded her equally-gutterslug BFF Rhianna Frenette shoot her up with some dope and meth while in active fucking labor, because, well, what better epidural for a junkie fupasloth? Anyway… this is apparently more common than we thought.

Meet Kristin Bombard. Looker, ain’t she?


She’s got more wrinkles on her face than a dog’s asshole. Thirty-five is the new 60, apparently.


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I am interested to know exactly how one attains that lovely urine-yellow hue on their teeth. Might need a Q&A sesh with this beauty queen ASAP.

Anyway, as I’m sure you’ve already imagined, Ms. Bombard is a pillar of the Malden community:

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Oooh! Looks like someone can’t keep her sticky little fingers to herself.

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This is the type of neighbor I aspire to have one day. See? Upstanding citizen. She also comes from a long line of Malden’s Finest. Her brother, James Bombard, is a clear example of just how highbrow the Bombard lineage truly is:

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Here’s the face of honor, folks. The face of machete-wielding, gun-toting, cocaine-trafficking, woman-beating honor:

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Could that be a Bulls flat brimmed hat? Considering the circumstances, it’s a safe bet.

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Clearly, that’s his. His shoes are merely beat up from hitting the clutch in that beast.

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Help! He’s after me Lucky Charms!

Anyway, back to this stud’s lovely sister, Kristin. What we weren’t able to find was the article related to her 2014 arrest for assault and battery outside of the infamous Malden T Station… while 9 months pregnant. Seems to have been redacted. But oh, we did not forget – how could we? Not with this little firecracker fupasloth-extraordinaire, Kelley Anne (AKA Kelley Capobianco) to remind us:

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*record scratch*


Wait – WHAT? Shooting meth and heroin while pregnant, sucking the sweaty, unshowered balls of Malden for rock… and with all the love and support of your friends. What a fantastic, amazing friend this Kelley Anne is! Offering to babysit your ex-boyfriend-stealing friend’s drug-addicted baby (who also happens to be your ex’s baby) so your friend can go out and get that crack money. And you even administer the withdrawal meds so the baby wouldn’t scream in agony constantly while under your watchful eye. Someone get this broad a medal, STAT!


It appears that these two were two peas in a school lunchroom trash barrel, boyfriend stealing aside, for quite a while, up until pretty recently:

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We feel for you, dude. You could have also, oh, you know, told your baby mama’s OB about her proclivity to stick sharp objects into her veins and had something done about it before the baby came out all drug-addled. But well… #youtried.

Getting back to that infamous Malden T Station – it seems that Kelley Anne has had her fair share of adventures, there, too:

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Seems like in the last 10 months, Kelley Anne has had a come up and no longer needs to hop the turnstiles. At least one would believe so after her rant about Kristin not being able to afford the bus. Good for you, baby girl!

I just love how the T Police watermark their pics, too. Because they want everyone to know – you’re not just being picked up by the ordinary fuzz – you’re getting bagged by the TRANSIT POLICE, baby! Booyah.

I’m sure this won’t be the last we hear from these model citizens, stay tuned for updates as they unfold.



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  1. Jessy Drastic


  2. SpermCannon

    I’d hit the blonde chick in the furry hat, she’s pretty cute in that photo.

    Would triple bag it though.

    1. Medfah

      $50 its yours

  3. Medfah

    “Steal me Lucky Charms”

  4. The3rdLevel

    Not only do they watermark their photos but they use meme font to do it. PRICELESS!

  5. ZephyrCat

    Lord, so sad. What way is that to start a life? Detoxing as a baby? Grow up to find out your own mother gave more shits about getting high than taking care of her child. And what the fuck is with the “stealing my man” shit??? No dude is worth the trouble, honey. Get some self respect and tell them both to rot & die. Stealing?? What, did she abduct him and forcefeed him viagra??? People are so goddamned pathetic. And it used to be you could count on it being a black dude to look like sideshow bob with dollar bill clothes, gargantuan gold chains and the obligatory sneer! I think it’s just awesome that white folks decided to emulate the worst of society. Don’t aim high anymore, don’t try to better yourself. Who’s the most vile human being I can model my life after? Good God!!!

  6. Mandatory Sterilization

    Who’s baby’s daddy, Uncle Sam ? Looks like inbreeding again. Cross between, “The Situation”, “Vanilla Ice and somehow “Flavor Flav” is in the mix. All yesterday too !

  7. Gronkmonster

    “accused of shooting meth while 9 months pregnancy”

    Its so refreshing to see that a fellow Voke classmate must have made it to Editor of TB

  8. hahahaohreally

    wait did she admit that they hooked up… with each other?? maybe that’s how she “stole her man” three some gone wrong??