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A guy named Mark Prince came into my work today (a restaurant in Webster) with a woman who he was taking out on a date. He told the woman, “Momma, I’ll take you out to a fancy place but you pay the tip.” So they wind up at my bar, and he proceeds to drink 4 gray goose and Red Bulls. Then he conveniently can’t find his debit card. Keep in mind, he’s married with kids and his date from last Monday night was also at the bar. So he orders one more and goes out to smoke with his new date, and tells her he forgot his debit card. But he reassures her by telling her that he “knows me,” and I “know what’s up.”
He then comes back inside and tells me that since our ATM machine is down he’s gonna run down the street and come right back. Not knowing what a douche he is since I’ve never met him before I said that’s fine. His date stayed behind and finished her cigarette.
Meanwhile he’s been hitting on me the entire time in front of his date and I can’t even believe this mother fucker tells me and I quote,
“One day I’ll pray to the Hennessy and Heineken Gods that a pretty little thick white thing like you will go on a date with me.” He then writes his number down on a Keno slip and bounces.
He never came back from the ATM down the street. Granted it was only a $32.50 tab, but it’s more the fact that he thought he could get away with it by flirting. I’ve heard since that he’s been borrowing money from everyone and blown it all over the place after the fact. Now this douche thinks I’m going to call him after I initially paid his tab before a nice person paid it forward feeling bad for me. If only his wife knew….
That moment when your wife finds out you’re cheating on her by reading Turtleboy because you’re such a doucherocket that you hit on a waitress you intended on stiffing while on a date with a mistress at a bar in Wedbudh. Awkward.
Goes without saying that this guy is obviously terrible. Who stiffs over a bartender like that? Worst part is the whole thing was intentional, and I’m willing to bet that after I publish this blog we’re gonna hear from someone else and this is gonna turn into a #MeToo chew and screw thing. You don’t pull a stunt like this if you haven’t done it before.
And from the looks of his Facebook page he clearly plays the “I’m a nice, friendly, fun loving Dad who everyone loves” card:
People like this are narcissistic con-artists. They fool everyone into thinking they’re good people. But it’s all just an act to throw you off the scent. When you’re not looking they cheat on you and stiff bartenders for free Red Bulls and vodka. That’s the most douchetastic part of this story – he actually hit on her because he thought the chance that he might be willing to toss the tonsil tickler her way would let him get away with dipping on the tab.
As it turns out he also had the Turtlegram and Gazette fooled, as they did this puff piece on him last year. Ya see, Mark Prince plays semi-pro football for the Worcester Wildcats.
And he’s got a whole sob story about reforming from his life of a crime to be a successful husband and law abiding citizen:
At age 40, Prince has returned to the team after a seven-year absence and overcoming a myriad of health and personal problems that had him wishing he were dead. With the support of family, friends and even strangers, Prince is happy and healthy again, and he hopes he can inspire others. His recent Facebook post of making the Wildcats’ team and the obstacles that he’s overcome drew 365 likes and 305 comments in a week.
“I just want to inspire people to do positive things and never give up,” Prince said while sitting in his living room in Webster last week. “Changing your life around means a lot to me.”
Prince said he spent about two years off and on in jail for traffic violations and assault and battery while working as a bouncer. But after the end of a relationship, the demons overcame him.
Two years in jail for traffic violations? Yea, I’m sure that’s what he went to jail for. Shockingly he doesn’t have many Google trophies, besides this one from 2014 for driving with a suspended license and having no inspection sticker (on the same day that cop killer Jorge Zambrano was also in Worcester Courthouse on yet another violent arrest that Joe Early never sent him to jail for):
But it’s not his fault, it’s the “demons” that made him do it.
“I think it’s amazing,” Wildcats owner-coach Dennis Faulkner said. “Here’s a guy who at one point thought life was over. So here’s a chance to knock off all his past demons and say he’s overcome them.”
Apparently when you overcome your demons it doesn’t stop you from stiffing bartenders and cheating on your wife.
Prince is scheduled to start at offensive guard when the Wildcats open their season against the Mass. State Wolverines of South Hadley. What will matter most to Prince that night will be looking up in the stands to see his parents, his wife, his soon-to-be-adopted daughters, his high school football coach, his friends and everyone who has supported him during his tough times.
Yup, all those loving people who he clearly has fooled. What a chiseler!
Shockingly he also has an estranged daughter he’s trying to impress:
Prince doesn’t expect to see his estranged biological daughter at the game, but he hopes playing for the Wildcats will serve as another sign to her that he has put his life back together.
“I want my daughter to see that I’m a winner,” Prince said. “I want her to understand that I’m a fighter and that her daddy isn’t who people thought I was when I was younger.”
Prince also hopes to be a role model for his new family. Prince married in August and he’s in the process of adopting his wife Katelyn’s daughters, redacted, 11; and redacted, 7. The girls’ rooms are filled with New England Patriots posters and bobbleheads.
Gee whiz, I wonder why they’re estranged?
This was hilarious:
His new Wildcats teammates also call him “Dark Prince Vader.” Prince insists that Darth Vader is a misunderstood character who turned out to be a villain because he had to, not because he wanted to, and he wasn’t as bad as he was made out to be. Prince feels the same way about himself.
It’s just so perfect. Who watches Star Wars and says, “I really identify with Darth Vader”? It’s like rooting for Pacific Gas and Electric while watching Erin Brockovich. But just like him, Darth Vader is “misunderstood.”
Prince started at defensive tackle for the Wildcats in 2009 and 2010, but both seasons ended early due to injury. Laid up for a while due to a torn Achilles tendon, Prince gained more than 100 pounds and ballooned up to well over 400. He turned to alcohol and got involved in gangs. After a previous relationship broke up and he became estranged from his now 19-year-old daughter, he fell into a deep, dark depression.
“I wanted to die,” Prince said. “I didn’t want to be around.”
Poor guy. His douchnozzelry caught up to him so he had no choice but to join a gang and gain 100 ponds. Hate when that happens. But it’s cool because he’s reformed now. Plus he found God and stuff:
His Jehovah’s Witness faith helped prevent him from attempting suicide. But for about a year, Prince was homeless in Worcester while working odd jobs here and there.
“I was depressed,” he said. “I didn’t want to do anything. I couldn’t do anything. I was too depressed and I drifted.”
He stayed with friends at first, then slept at shelters and on benches at Elm Park.
“I didn’t sell drugs myself,” he said. “I was involved in the activity in the gangs, delivering, stuff like that.”
Evidently the Jehovah’s Witnesses frown upon suicide, but don’t subscribe to the “thou shalt not steal,” “thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife,” or “thou shalt not be a drug mule for local gang bangers” tenets of Christianity. And please, spare me the whole, “he slept on a bench at Elm Park” thing. Who hasn’t slept on a bench at Elm Park after a night out at Leitrims? That doesn’t mean you’re homeless. It means you’re drunk.
Then he went on to talk about how he got hit by a car and was in a coma, trying to show the Turtlegram how much he’s overcome:
While staying in Charlton with his mother, he reconnected with his old friends through Facebook. He continued to suffer the after effects of the coma and he battled with his weight and depression, but plenty of friends and family offered lots of support. That summer, he met his wife.
“If I ever think of giving up or doubting myself,” Prince said of redacted, “she smacks me back into reality and reminds me of how far I’ve come.”
Oh, and he collects too:
Weighing more than 400 pounds, Prince suffered from back and knee pain, and seizures. He was so overweight he was collecting disability. He had to sleep with a CPAP machine to breath at night.
“Again, I was like my hero, Darth Vader,” Prince joked about his heavy breathing.
I guess he didn’t collect enough to pay his tab though.