Meatball Madness Brawl In The Streets Of Springfield While Ratchets Watch In Their Pajamas Is Why You Should Never, Ever Go To Springfield
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Top 3 sources of quality ratchet brawls in New England – 3) Bristol, 2) Providence, 1) Springfield. Springfield ratchet brawls are the best ratchet brawls. Here’s the latest edition of cheesehogs gone wild…..
Oh man, you could see the gravy leaking from their pores all over the streets. Just another day in Springfield I suppose. Let’s go to the tape to see what transpired here.
It all starts when a woman, who obviously wore her fighting Jordan’s, found herself embraced in a hoodrat hug with another lurchbeast who easily had 50 kilograms on her. Naturally there was a woman standing over both of them holding a stick:
Because you never leave your stick at home when you’re going to throw down in the streets of Springfield.
What was this fight over? Your guess is as good as mine. But whatever it was, it was really, really important. Like, “who stole whose EBT card,” or “who called DCF on the other,” or “who said whose Jordan’s were bootleg Marshall’s brand on SnapChat.”
While trying to break up the fight the stick house tried to pull the hair of the hogfish lying on the ground. Big mistake, because this fupa-loompa wasn’t having none of that, and a side fight broke out:
Then all of a sudden the Queen Cheesehog rolled up holding the Kevin Lynch special – a nine iron:
Again, pretty standard. Bringing a golf club to a street fight is what passes as “fore”play in Springfield.
Next it was time for the swimsuit competition portion of the rowdy-down:
Finally when it seemed like things were settling down, Meatball Mary came out of nowhere and bitchslapped Jordan’s McGee:
After that someone started playing “Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting” and they all started dancing along.
Watch out for the hoodrat helicopter though.
It’ll get you every time.
Jordan’s McGee and her sewer guppy friend with the stick were clearly outnumbered, so fighting in this manner was a poor choice. And once they had the hogfish surrounded and on the ground, they stood over her and protected their prey from scavengers.
So they had to leave defeated, and they didn’t get their stick back either.
And of course Nine Iron Nancy, who obviously elected not to wear shoes in the pristine streets of Springfield, led the heard as they banished these rival hoodrats from the Kingdom of Rachetville.
Meanwhile women and children, most of whom were wearing their pajamas during the middle of the day, could only sit back and enjoy the daily gravy parade that marched through their neighborhood.
This is yet another example of why you should never, ever go to Springfield.
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