• The Gun Parlor

  • Meet Richard Newton AKA Hatchet Harry, The Axe-Wielding Juggalo Who Held Kiss 108 Hostage For Not Playing ICP; He’s Also Your Friendly Neighborhood Kiddie Diddler



    What is a juggalo?
    Let me think for a second
    Oh, he gets butt-naked
    And then he walks through the streets
    Winking at the freaks
    With a two-liter stuck in his butt-cheeks

    What is a juggalo?
    He just don’t care
    He might try to put a weave
    In his nut hair
    ’cause he could give a fuck less
    What a bitch thinks
    He tell her that her butt stinks
    And all that

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Holla atcha girl: [email protected]

     

     

     

    Who said turtles were slow? We got the identity of Harry Hatchet within an hour of the blog being up. And buckle up, ‘cause in the words of Violent J, ‘well, he ain’t really dead, but he ain’t like anybody that you’ve ever met before.’

     

    This is the face of a 38-year-old Juggalo who likely still resides in his mother’s basement and urinates in empty Faygo bottles

     

    Here’s an insane video a Turtlerider sent in from her office of the altercation with police shortly before he was taken into custody this afternoon:

     

    He sees them storming in and is like nooooope, even DROPS HIS BEER and hops back into the safety and security of his little red chariot after he’s pelted with a beanbag. Fuckin’ punk.

     

    And here’s where he was taken into custody, like a little bitch boy (contrary to popular Juggalo belief that they are, in fact, not bitch boys)

     

     

     

    On the face of it, it seems like Dirty Dick here might be mentally ill. But I am here to tell you he is a seasoned asshole, a vile creature who has been swimming in the depths of depravity since at least early adulthood. Back in 2000, he was convicted of diddling a kiddie under 13

    So… I don’t buy into the mentally ill shtick. This dude is a straight up piece of shit and has been probably since conception. People like Dirty Dick should never be allowed to reenter society; there is no rehabilitation for clowns like this, which is evidenced by today’s clusterfuck at Kiss 108. It could have ended much worse, considering Dirty Dick seems to have left some foreboding messages on the FB machine

    Yeah, totally normal. Some axe-wielding psycho who still finds clowns entertaining at the tender age of 38 is scoping out places that look like they might be the perfect digs to reenact episodes of a TV show about another psycho serial killer. He must’ve felt like Dexter’s kindred spirit or some shit.

     

    After checking out Dirty Dick’s FB, the baby hairs on NSTB’s neck were standing more erect than Mr. NSTB’s dinkadoodle after I finally put on that little see-through number he bought for me 3 years ago.

     

    Make no mistake about it, this entire thing was premeditated. Dirty Dick charted his every move today on the FB machine, posting pictures and videos of him driving through North Shore towns like Woburn and Stoneham, taking photos of random businesses, houses, and police cars on the streets. How anyone on his friends list couldn’t see that shit was about.to.go.down is beyond me. This chud is a friggin’ creep and a half.

    Here’s Cleveland Fence in Stoneham.

     

    A little work on the road, advertising for Quicken Loans

    Just a snap of a local officer’s police bike

    Gotta let everyone know the road sodas are along for the ride!

     

    More pics of Massachusetts’ finest

     

    You get the idea. Also, it wasn’t Despacito being played out that got to him (although NSTB can get down to that – dghareiogtuhartihrt DORITOOOOOOOS – DES-PA-CITOOOO) – it was Future’s “I Feel It Comin’” which is just as played out, imo.

     

    Anyway, his fam jam was on the news talking about he is sick, and they’ve been trying to get him help for a long time, blah blah blah. Sorry, but… no. This goes beyond sick and into the realm of pure evil.

     

    Here’s to hoping that he violated the conditions of his release or something and he gets locked up for a looong, long time – preferably, forever.

     

     

     

     

    Join the Discussion

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    Discussion

    1. Shaggy 2 Dope


      See you at the next gathering, if you’re not incarcerated.

    2. Lily White


      Now see….if sex crimes were taken seriously, he wouldn’t have been out of prison. Unfortunately, sex crimes and sex crimes against children are only punishable with a short stint in jail. Our justice system and/or mental health system needs to change.

    3. WHATEVUH


      Never a good sniper around when you need one . . . .

    4. They call me Ponch


      This shit didn’t happen with Billy Squier.
      Stroke me.

    5. juggadouche


      He should hang with kyle snow, look up “douche bag” and his picture is there.

    6. Crazy Glue Sniffer


      I always thought the average juggalo age was somewhere between 15-19. Maybe 21, tops. But 38? Damn.

      1. wabbitt


        Yeah, I always thought most juggalos died around the age of 20 in backyard wrestling accidents.

    7. Mom's Basement


      Has anyone ever seen a decent looking juggallette in person? I’ve never seen anything above a 6 and I’ve seen ICP several times. I’ll bet Meatloaf has better groupies.

    8. The Executioner


      Now wait a minute, Dexter took care of scum like this…I want to see another episode with this lowlife as the next target. Seems like he has been getting away with things a bit too long.

    9. StormHund1488


      Juggalos are degenerate because they do nothing but listen to wanna-be jigaboo music and do drugs…not sure which is worse.

    10. wabbitt


      Is it was that I know a couple of lines to the ICP song referenced at the start of the blog?

      What is a juggalo?
      A Hulkamaniac!
      He powerbombs motherfuckers into thumb tacks

      1. wabbitt


        Sad.

        Is it sad that I know a couple lines?

        Fucking phone…

  • arrow