All-Star Criminals

Meet The Meth Junkie Who Fell Asleep Naked With A Bottle Of Whisky And Muffins While Robbing Somebody’s House; He Is Also An Avid Food Stamp Shopper

Meet The Meth Junkie Who Fell Asleep Naked With A Bottle Of Whisky And Muffins While Robbing Somebody’s House; He Is Also An Avid Food Stamp Shopper

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WSAW: The 40-year-old Oshkosh man is in the Outagamie County jail after a homeowner discovered a stranger had broken in and was sleeping naked in the bed. According to WBAY-TV, Appleton Police were called to the 200 block of South Memorial Drive on Saturday for a report of a naked man sleeping in the victim’s bed. Police also said the man, later identified as Bradley Braxton, had drank the homeowner’s whiskey and had eaten his muffins. WBAY reports Braxton confessed to using meth. He’s expected to be charged with burglary, damage to property, disorderly conduct, and possession of marijuana. Braxton also faces bail jumping charges as he was out on bond for a separate crime.

What a guy. Getting arrested while on meth, drunk, naked, with possession of weed, in a house that is not yours, and eating muffins is hilarious. Maybe he just needed solitude? And it turns out the whiskey & muffins were the homeowners, not his. i can’t fault the muffin choice though while he was drinking. Have to get those starches to lessen the hangover. Regardless of the severity of his hangover, he will experience it behind bars.

After i did a little research in his Facebook, i found that he is a food stamp connoisseur!

Yeah fam, be ready to pay the 50% market rate or get lost. Who knew a meth addict would be in the market for food stamps am i right? But, you know, buying/selling food stamps never happens huh? Keep telling yourselves that SJW’s.

This guy definitely looks like the Great Value version of Xzibit in this photo. Nice neon color scheme on your Yankee hat bro, possibly the worst looking hat of all-time.

Ya! know your worth! you clearly can’t measure up to this meth addict! move along.

I can’t even comprehend that post enough to write a joke about it. It’s incredible to me that the lady commenting was able to understand this, and post a response. “big heart controll freak yahoos lolololol” ???? does Wisconsin speak a different language or what?

Oh, and of course this guy is a Dolphins fan. Definitely an interesting choice to root for the Dolphins and you live in Wisconsin, ya know, home of the Packers… Maybe he is from Florida originally, that wouldn’t shock me at all. Bradley Braxton was built for the state of Florida.

Ok, those bars would most likely sweep you off your feet. Roc Nation, Def Jam, & Jimmy Iovine have already made their calls to land his services, don’t worry.

 

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10 Comment(s)
  • wabbitt
    July 20, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    So, no word on what kind of muffins they were?

    • KJDS
      July 20, 2017 at 3:54 pm

      They were zucchini. The gardens are bursting with zucchinis, and no one knows what to do with them except to bake bread and muffins.

      Meth-heads are also notoriously attracted to zucchini, do to their shape, size, and firmness when ripe.

    • Mickey Looney
      July 26, 2017 at 8:21 am

      Dindu Nuffins!

  • Momma&hergirl
    July 20, 2017 at 2:13 pm

    Thanks for giving us a big laugh! My 12 year old daughter is in a shity mood and I read bits and pieces of this story to her and got her laughing!

  • Nestor
    July 19, 2017 at 8:12 pm

    This kind of thing happened all the time at Westfield State

  • Barack Obama
    July 19, 2017 at 6:30 pm

    if I had a son he would look like Bradley Braxton,

  • They call me Ponch
    July 19, 2017 at 5:55 pm

    How can these people survive Darwinism?
    Seriously, how do these people schlep along?
    We finance their existence!!
    How is that fair?
    Eat a bag of shit!

    • wabbitt
      July 20, 2017 at 3:30 pm

      It’s the fault of modern medicine. These morons used to die from their own stupid actions. Now they just keep going and manage to out live the rest of us.

  • KJDS
    July 19, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    Aaah, Oshkosh, or as we used to call it, the big “0”. (That’s a “ZERO”, by the way.)

    And no, there’s no possible way that he was raised in Wisconsin and is not a Packer fan – it’s an impossibility.

  • The Executioner
    July 19, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    Just when you think the dumbing down of America can’t get any worse, you realize you are just scraping the surface. Shameful.

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