Nashua Cooch Monkey Is The Biggest Waste Of A Smoking Body Ever, Her And Flat Brim Shady Boyfriend Have Been Pulling A “Money For Kidneys” Scam With Ex-BF’s Family
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Earlier today we wrote about this Nashua cooch monkey and her flatbrim shady boyfriend who were arrested after trying to outrun the cops on I-89, crashed, and tried to hide in some bushes.
We didn’t have her Facebook page, or his updated one, so it was hard to figure out that much about them.
First of all, the cooch monkey is the biggest waste of a smoking hot body these eyes have ever seen:
That’s a New Bedford 12.5. Sure, I could do without the tattoo, but the ratio of ass to abs to honkers is simply off the charts. A true work of art. A body like that should strictly be the domain of divorced 40 year old men with lots of money to spend going through a midlife crisis.
So how did she end up here?
Well less than a year ago she seems to have been madly in love with this poor sap who kept commenting on her page:
Seems like a nice guy right?
Yea, nothing good EVER comes from that hat. Ever.
Timiah claimed to be in love with him:
But apparently this chick drove Dillan to the point of imaginary suicide:
I really hate people who do this. The ol’ “I’m gonna kill myself, but I’m not really going to because I just want you all to tell me how great I am and how much I have to live for” status. If you’re gonna kill yourself then just do it. Facebook isn’t the place to air your dirty laundry. No one cares. Just do it and we’ll follow through the obligatory RIP statuses and move on with our lives.
Anyway, he claims that Timiah was pregnant:
No signs of any babies on her page though. But he seems to have a child he can’t seem to find:
Anyway, bad luck Dillan must’ve gotten broken up with because he started posting a lot of “baby come back” statuses:
But alas the cooch monkey had moved on with her life and found new love. This chud:
What’s not to love?
That’s a set of New Hampshire chompers if I’ve ever seen one.
Oh, and they’re “engaged”
Which means that he took her to Red Lobster and didn’t split the bill.
Of course Internet engagements are a dime a dozen for Alan Rich:
Unfortunately Internet babies are real. And yes, this wiggamaniac is indeed someone’s father.
Well it turns out Timiah has the “disease” that makes you steal from other people, drive in unregistered cars, and put poison into your body:
So she knows better than anyone that you can never trust the word of a dope fein.
Next thing you know she’s letting this thing jam his turkey baster full of Christmas stuffing up her bearded oyster:
Yea, nothing good can come of that. You’re better off with a whiny flat brimmed Chicago Bulls chudstuffer. At least Dillan wouldn’t go to his ex-girlfriend’s house asking for money for a “kidney” for his new lover:
Of course the cooch monkey and flatbrim shady have no issue with asking her ex-boyfriend’s mother for drug money under the guise of needing “money for kidneys.”
The bottom line here is that this body is completely going to waste:
And that’s the real crime here.
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