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  • Nashua Cooch Monkey Is The Biggest Waste Of A Smoking Body Ever, Her And Flat Brim Shady Boyfriend Have Been Pulling A “Money For Kidneys” Scam With Ex-BF’s Family



    Nashua Cooch Monkey Is The Biggest Waste Of A Smoking Body Ever, Her And Flat Brim Shady Boyfriend Have Been Pulling A “Money For Kidneys” Scam With Ex-BF’s Family

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    Earlier today we wrote about this Nashua cooch monkey and her flatbrim shady boyfriend who were arrested after trying to outrun the cops on I-89, crashed, and tried to hide in some bushes.

    We didn’t have her Facebook page, or his updated one, so it was hard to figure out that much about them.

    Well we found both Timiah Wilkins and Alan Fish, and we think we’ve got this one pegged.

    First of all, the cooch monkey is the biggest waste of a smoking hot body these eyes have ever seen:

    That’s a New Bedford 12.5. Sure, I could do without the tattoo, but the ratio of ass to abs to honkers is simply off the charts. A true work of art. A body like that should strictly be the domain of divorced 40 year old men with lots of money to spend going through a midlife crisis.

    So how did she end up here?

    Well less than a year ago she seems to have been madly in love with this poor sap who kept commenting on her page:

    Seems like a nice guy right?

    Wrong:

    Yea, nothing good EVER comes from that hat. Ever.

    Timiah claimed to be in love with him:

    But apparently this chick drove Dillan to the point of imaginary suicide:

    I really hate people who do this. The ol’ “I’m gonna kill myself, but I’m not really going to because I just want you all to tell me how great I am and how much I have to live for” status. If you’re gonna kill yourself then just do it. Facebook isn’t the place to air your dirty laundry. No one cares. Just do it and we’ll follow through the obligatory RIP statuses and move on with our lives.

    Anyway, he claims that Timiah was pregnant:

    No signs of any babies on her page though. But he seems to have a child he can’t seem to find:

    Anyway, bad luck Dillan must’ve gotten broken up with because he started posting a lot of “baby come back” statuses:

    But alas the cooch monkey had moved on with her life and found new love. This chud:

    What’s not to love?

    That’s a set of New Hampshire chompers if I’ve ever seen one.

    Oh, and they’re “engaged”

    Which means that he took her to Red Lobster and didn’t split the bill.

    Of course Internet engagements are a dime a dozen for Alan Rich:

    Unfortunately Internet babies are real. And yes, this wiggamaniac is indeed someone’s father.

    Well it turns out Timiah has the “disease” that makes you steal from other people, drive in unregistered cars, and put poison into your body:

    So she knows better than anyone that you can never trust the word of a dope fein.

    Next thing you know she’s letting this thing jam his turkey baster full of Christmas stuffing up her bearded oyster:

    Yea, nothing good can come of that. You’re better off with a whiny flat brimmed Chicago Bulls chudstuffer. At least Dillan wouldn’t go to his ex-girlfriend’s house asking for money for a “kidney” for his new lover:

    Of course the cooch monkey and flatbrim shady have no issue with asking her ex-boyfriend’s mother for drug money under the guise of needing “money for kidneys.”

    The bottom line here is that this body is completely going to waste:

    And that’s the real crime here.

     

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    Discussion

    1. Ew


      Dude you sound creepy as fuck talking about her body so much. Isnt turtleboy like 50?

      1. Jeffrey


        Jafreese this was a test and you failed, Jafreese is officially a homo or a strait woman.

        1. Jeffrey


          Grading error, Jafreese got the A, Ew failed.

      2. So, now we know!


        So we now know that the “turtlefucker” is a middle-aged, divorced, 40 something, hard-up douche! That would explain his reason for starting this blog.

      3. Borat


        Hot body sooo nice!!!

        Sexy Sexy Time High Five

        no shame in a good body my mother tell my sister before she kiss my brother mongo

        1. ChrisInShrewsbury


          Your brother’s name is Bilo you dumb fuck.

          1. Borat


            yes yes other brother mongo we dont like to talk about since zoo accident with monkeys and guns

    2. Jafreese


      She does have a great set of narcans on her

    3. TIMMMEAH!


      lol the kids name is TIMMMMEAH!

    4. wabbitt


      She is indeed built like a brick shit house. I don’t go for tatted blondes, but those and are speaking to me.

    5. Kennedy nephew


      Boyfriend looks like Howard Stern as a young tranni, the other looks retarded.

      Her and tip jar girl should do all girl vid as bdsm slaves of the monson pimp lady.

    6. Super Cock


      One of the hottest women to be featured, beautiful body she belongs with older man of wealth and taste who can easily care for her and safely guide her. Whether she could benefit from psychotherapy or other medical care cost is no issue.

      Guide her away from idiotic young boys with heroin addictions and basement rockstar fantasies. Who will impregnate her then leave her for the flavor of the month. Addicted to drugs with a face like pepperoni pizza and no child support or emotional, moral or financial support.

      No more running from the police for a thrill, flying private Gulfstream jet to Aruba for a thrill. While basement boy is back in Rutland VT getting arrested robbing a gas station.

      1. Slick Willie


        I agree. Singularly the hottest piece of ass featured on TBS in recent memory. Sadly, a girl with looks like she has could easily write her own ticket if she played her cards right; instead, she seems to want to hook up with retards. Its too bad she’s defiling her body with tats too, that will limit her ability to climb in social circles, as it screams “low class”.

        Reminds me a great deal of Heidi Mattson. I predict she has a extensive career as a stripper in her near future.

        Be sure to post a followup article when you locate her on PornHub

    7. Michelle


      I’ve known Allan for years. If you needed his help, he would do everything he could to help you. I knew once he got with this girl, that things would slowly start to go down hill, and they did. Allan’s baby momma hasn’t allowed him to see his kid ever since he broke up with her. He always tried hard to get him back, but never succeed because she had all the power. He was a great guy. And he was trying his hardest to get his son back. Ever heard “look better in person than in pictures”?. That, he did. One of his engagements was to his baby momma, but like I said, he called it off. There’s reasons that I won’t discuss on here. Allan wouldn’t have never done any of this a year ago. He would tell you no because he’s gotta get his child back. But people fall in love with dumb people. And sometimes it just leads here. No, he shouldn’t have done that, but just check before. He was a great person who would do anything to help anyone!

    8. JimB


      So “Ew” & “Now we Lnow” are a couple of idiot Narcan junkies who probably live in NH & are friends with these to Cooch monkeys…. truth be told she does have a hot little body & I bet has definitely sucked it for $$$….. I’d throw her $40.0….

    9. MontanaXX94


      Ha what’s wrong with wearing a hat? All walks of life wear hats?!?!? Your names turtleboysports.. you wear a hat in sports hahah your wack

    10. Dick Diggler


      This is the worst written article ever. Get to the point. Stop repeating yourself. Take a writing course or 10. But yeah she is pretty hot bro.

    11. Hanna prince


      Contact [email protected] com and have your Ex lover back in 3 days.

    12. ALISE


      Her body looks like drugs…. there is nothing remotely educAted or close to even cute about this broad… dirty daddy issue type nh scum right here… this article is just as much of an embarrassment as her being from NH

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