All-Star Criminals

Noodledick Who’s Never Heard Of The Internet Busted Filming In Women’s Locker Room At Woonsocket Planet Fitness

Noodledick Who’s Never Heard Of The Internet Busted Filming In Women’s Locker Room At Woonsocket Planet Fitness

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Here’s your All-Star criminal of the day:

Bro, there’s this magical invention called “Redtube.” This isn’t 1953. If you wanna see some T&A you don’t have to resort to getting a sneak peak in at the Planet Fitness. You can just go on the Internet and see pretty much any kind of woman you want. Plus, you’re peeping in the women’s locker room at Planet Fitness. Not gonna see much in there besides guys pretending to be chicks and a bunch of fupasloths. The risk-reward on this one is as bad as it gets.

Oh well, at least Tandy believes you:

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Well then. As long as this is what he told his mother, that must’ve been what happened. Case closed.

 

 

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13 Comment(s)
  • Samantha
    March 7, 2017 at 5:35 pm

    wow, and of all places a Planet Fitness in Woonsocket? I bet he got approximately 0.00003 % spankable footage, whats the matter he couldn’t sneak a peep hole into a dress barn in Pawtucket?

  • XYZAffair
    March 7, 2017 at 5:15 pm

    Woonsocket should be renamed to Cumsucket!

  • BobnMic's drunken head
    March 7, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    Hey, that’s the guy I brought into my office and did a cavity search when I was detective. Well, that was pretty much par for the course at work for me. Shame none of them were into it. Tough to probe an asshole with one hand while holding a gun with other.

  • Strata
    March 7, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    He didn’t know what was on the other side ????? …… why even say anything if your going to say something so FN stupid as a defense. Honestly I feel bad for him a little in that this will follow him forever (Internet is forever). Good looking young man that could have many women, but I guess that doesn’t halt the urges.

  • ZephyrCat
    March 7, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    It would have been alot easier if he had just said’ “I identify as a transgender woman”. Problem solved AND he could have sued them to make a little money for his trouble. It’s all in how you go about it.

    • ZephyrCat
      March 7, 2017 at 5:03 pm

      And for the record, I am transgendered myself. I’m hoping to have surgery soon. I’m tired of taping this sausage to my leg when I go out.

      • ZephyrCat
        March 7, 2017 at 5:04 pm

        That guy is hot. I’d let him hit my poonsocket in woonsocket. Or anywhere he wants for that matter.

  • Peter Griffin
    March 7, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    [Peter kicks open stall door in women’s restroom; occupant screams]

    Peter Griffin: Sorry, retarded.

    Woman#1: Oh, it’s okay.

    [Peter kicks open second stall door; occupant screams]

    Peter Griffin: Sorry, don’t know any better.

    Woman#2: Oh, bless you then.

    [Peter kicks open third stall door; occupant screams]

    Peter Griffin: Geez, didn’t you hear me a second ago? I’m retarded!

    Woman#3: Oh, you’re just curious. Well, let me show you how everything works down there.

  • KJDS
    March 7, 2017 at 4:40 pm

    “He didn’t know what was on the other side.”

    I’m guessing there’s a sign of some sort that says, “WOMEN’S LOCKER ROOM”.

    What a giveaway!

  • March 7, 2017 at 4:22 pm

    I can touch my butthole with my penis. Why am I even here?

    • Turd Burglestein
      March 7, 2017 at 5:26 pm

      That guy looks like one of the gay male escorts that used to come out to my place in the woods. I remember him specifically because he liked my old depression era china.

    • Turd Burglestein
      March 7, 2017 at 6:28 pm

      To clarify, No homo. I just sold this guy a lot of coke and he’d trade me out all his family heirlooms for an 8 ball here or a gram there so that’s where a lot of my fancy shit came from.

      • Turd Burglestein
        March 7, 2017 at 6:36 pm

        Ahem, not sure who would dare call me a heterosexual because it’s just not true. I’m most like the Ian McKellen character in the movie Gods and Monsters. Actually, I’m just like Ian McKellen in real life too. Except without any actual talent. Just the gay part where I’m attracted to much younger men than myself for sexual favors.

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