OJ Basically Tried To Stay In Prison Today With The Show He Put On But They Paroled Him Anyway
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If you haven’t heard the news yet, the juice is loose again. As expected, OJ Simpson was granted parole after 9 years in prison for committing a crime that normally would result in probation. But since everyone knows that OK killed two people and got away with it by playing the race card better than any human being has ever played the race card before, the judge in Nevada gave him 33 years just because she could. Nevertheless, it was a done deal today that OJ was getting paroled. The only way he wouldn’t get out is if he intentionally sabotaged his own parole hearing, which is exactly what it looks like he tried to do.
For starters he told the bored perhaps one of the greatest lines I’ve ever heard:
“Nobody’s ever accused me of pulling a weapon on them.”
Wait……what? I’m pretty sure the State of California and Marcia Clark did exactly that when they tried you for a double homicide. They accused you of pulling a weapon on Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman. You got out of it because the prosecution was dumb enough to assume that a jury of 12 morons from a different county would come to a just and fair decision after nine months of evidence presented at his trial. Instead they took four hours to decide that they were gonna use this opportunity to get back at racist cops like Mark Furman by letting a murderer go free.
Then there was this line, when asked about what he would do once he was paroled:
I could easily stay in Nevada, but I don’t think you guys want me here.”
O.J. Simpson to parole board: "I could easily stay in Nevada, but I don't think you guys want me here" https://t.co/nIJcVLLC5f
— NBC News (@NBCNews) July 20, 2017
Holy shit, he thinks he’s still the juice. He really thinks it’s 1995 and he can charm people the way he could back then. His life is on the line and he’s sitting there cracking jokes about the state of Nevada
. “LOL, you guys probably want me out of your state, because I been known to kill one or two people from time to time!! Get it??”
Then there was the part about why he didn’t attend AA classes in prison:
“I’ve never had a problem with alcohol.”
When asked if he's addressed the issue of alcohol as discussed in last parole hearing, OJ Simpson says: "I’ve never had an alcohol problem” pic.twitter.com/bGvHvFljji
— ABC News (@ABC) July 20, 2017
“Well, you told us in your last hearing that you were going to attend AA.”
Yea, well, I say lots of crazy shit when I wanna get my way. Like telling people that I’m looking for the “real killers” of Nicole and Ron, which really meant that I’d be golfing and doing copious amounts of cocaine.
This was the best:
“I believe in the jury system.”
— FOX Business (@FoxBusiness) July 20, 2017
Uhhhhh yea….no shit you do. The jury system kept you out of jail for the rest of your life. A jury of your “peers” were given DNA evidence that proved your blood was at the scene of the crime, and they were like, “nah, must be racism.”
Honestly, I thought he’d come out today and give us some bullshit about how he’s changed and just wants to lead a quiet life and die with his family and blah, blah, blah. That’s literally all he had to do to get paroled. Instead he admitted he didn’t do what the parole board asked him to do, claims he never was accused of pulling a weapon on anyone, and cracked jokes about leaving Las Vegas.
But none of that mattered because he still got parole. So why did they even bother with this? Reminds me of the Shawshank Redemption with Red. That dude got denied parole every time he was serious. Then after 40 years he went in front of them and basically told them to go fuck themselves and he ended up getting parole as a result. Same thing basically happened here, except Red wasn’t a danger to society. OJ clearly is. But he’ll be back in no time. He’s got no money, and he clearly still thinks he can charm and lie his way through life and people will believe him. Only a matter of time till he fucks up again.
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