Palmer Cheeshogs Are Airing Their Domestic Abuse Dirty Laundry On Facebook And It’s Fascinating To Watch
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A turtle rider sent us this Facebook post from a Palmer relationship gone bad…..
She’s saying he head butted her:
She’s also accusing him of killing their dog:
Not good if true. But there’s two sides to every story. This is the the accused, Rian Waters from Palmer:
Although based on that Voke-stache, I think we all knew he was from Palmer. That collection of dirt and pubes on his upper lip is strike one. Because when I look at a picture like that, one of the first things that crosses my mind as an unbiased Facebook juror is, “domestic abuse.” However, at the same time, you kind of have to question any chick who looks at that face and says, “I want him to inseminate me.”
Here’s what the now ex-boyfriend had to say about it:
Alright, so right off the bat we’re skeptical of this story. If your ex-girlfriend is posting pictures of herself with a black eye and blaming you for it, you probably shouldn’t write, “Sam had an accident that neither one of us is proud of.” Because that sounds shady as hell. How do you have an accident and get a black eye? I’ve had a lot of accidents before. I get boo-boos and cuts. Can’t say I’ve ever fallen and gotten a black eye.
Plus, if Sam did have an accident, then why would it be something YOU would be not proud of? Lets pretend she slipped and fell and hit her face on something. Why would you ever say that this is something that you’re “not proud of?” Because if she had an accident that had nothing to do with you, then why would you feel the need to say you weren’t proud of it? Kind of makes you sound guilty bud.
Then there’s this:
“LOL, dumbass Ludlow cops don’t know about Celiac disesase.” Just kind of comes across as someone who thinks he’s the smartest person in the room. Here’s the thing – he actually doesn’t sound dumb. And based on some earlier posts, he seems like someone who has his shit together:
Well, his lawyer must’ve seen the things he was posting on Facebook and told him to shut the fuck up. So he posted about how he was going to do just that, and then went on to do the exact opposite:
Wait…..what??? You came home and found the dog crushed underneath a big metal cabinet? And you “didn’t think much of it?” Yea, that sounds believable. Because sometimes I come home and find my dog buried in rubble, and I’m like, “whatever.”
IF what he’s saying is true, and that’s a huge IF, then that means this dog was clearly in need of a vet for days, and they did nothing about it. The dog was hurt so badly that he had to carry it back home several times. And no one thought it would be a good idea to, I dunno, see if the dog needed help? Nah, better just tell him put some tussin on it and walk it off instead.
Then there’s this gem:
“Sadly I can’t share the evidence yet, but it’s enough to make me wonder if I even did cause that black eye.”
But wait…..that would mean that before he made this post that he was pretty convinced that he DID cause the black eye. Yea, that’s a smart thing to post on Facebook when you have a court date in your future. I mean, whoever her lawyer is must be sitting at home thanking this ding-dong for the free layup.
Oh yea, and the second you say anything similar to, “haters gonna hate,” I just kind of assume you’re an asshole. Not a good look bros.
You’ll give her time to tell the truth? Hey here’s an idea – stop talking until you get to court. What the hell is wrong with these people? Get off of Facebook. Don’t get me wrong, Turtleboy loves gawking at a good dumpster fire breakup on the Facebook machine just as much as the next guy. Ya see this stuff all the time and you love it cuz it’s not you. But if it were your brother or your sister or someone you loved, you’d probably tell them to stay off the Internet for a little bit. Because we’re watching your blowout for the same reason we all watched Jerry Springer growing up – we like to watch the world burn. But we’d be humiliated if we were in this position.
Look, you have to be careful with these domestic abuse stories. Your initial instinct is often to believe the battered woman. I know it was Turtleboy’s. But at the same time, we don’t know these people. And some chicks are capable of anything. All I know is, nothing about his story makes much sense, and if you’re keeping score at home, she’s winning in the court of public opinion. The only thing he’s got going for him is the fact that it’s gonna be pretty hard to prove in court that he headbutted her. If I can easily picture these two cheeshogs going at it, and her getting up in his grill and smacking him a couple times, and their heads banging into each other, than so can any real life juror.
The bottom line is that the real losers here are the dog and the child. I’m sure both he and her are far from innocent. A couple unwed Palmerites in their pajamas re-enacting their favorite episode of 16 and Pregnant. But the poor dog is dead and the poor girl has to grow up watching this bullshit in her formative years (she appears to be 2 or 3). It’s terrible what happened to the dog, but hopefully the little girl can grow up without this sort of trashbag behavior becoming normalized.
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