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God Bless the Internet and every single ratchet who spews their garbage all over it. Recently I was treated to a reliving of one of my favorite moments in Turtleboy when who ended up back in our inbox yet again, but the pawtucket junkbunny who mistook someone tagging Turtleboy in a post looking for drugs as Turtleboy being the one to cop those drugs from.
Magnificent. Honestly, you guys should start tagging us in every single “Do you have [insert poor life decision here] for sale?” post you see – just to keep the dice rolling on this one. This sort of shit is gold.
Well, she’s back, and true to her ultra learned and classy roots, on camera smoking crack rock behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.
Mother of the year, everybody!
No big deal, though. She’s just taking both hands off the wheel to light up a hot glass pipe, ingesting a drug that gets you high by way of the precursor to a stroke. Nothing to see here. Looks like it’s been a busy 2018 for Miss Kane, with the crack smoking while operating a vehicle,
Cashing in on dubious sounding lawsuits,
Serving jail time,
And of course, looking for drugs on the ‘Book.
It’s all good though, because that video was “a long time ago” and 2019 is totally going to be her year!
Despite apparently walking out of treatment as soon as she posted, and shitting all over her parents for not picking her bum ass up from walking away from drug treatment fast enough.
Transformation Tuesday, everybody! I’m honestly confused as to why she even responded to the video, simply because I had to take a
double triple take to be sure it was even her. Seriously, she’s a fucking ghetto chameleon capable of filtering her photos into 10 different people.
For someone who’s been in a court room as much as she seems to have been, she sure doesn’t understand the concept of “plausible deniability”.
Anyway, Jessica, I find you fascinating and would absolutely love to discuss your lifetime of failure and shame on Turtleboy live this weekend. If you can convince me that you are in fact clean, sober and taking advantage of the magical second chance the recent calendar year change has bestowed upon you, I will even take down this blog. Call me, girl!