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  • Pokemon Has Turned Elm Park Into The Zombie Apocalypse



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    Everyone has been talking about Pokemon lately because apparently it’s all the rage on the iMachine. So this Turtleboy went down to the Elm Park with Turtleboy Jr, because Turtleboy is a man of the people, and we saw first hand the effect that this has had. It’s literally causing a zombie apocalypse:

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    I will say this – at least people are outside, getting exercise, and socializing…..kind of. I have no idea how this game works, nor do I care. Because I’m a grown ass man in his 30’s who simply doesn’t have time to worry about Goddamn Pokemon. I didn’t care about Pokemon when I was younger and I’m not gonna start now because the Internet has lost its mind. Mrs. Turtleboy tried to get me into it today and I stopped caring after 10 seconds when I found out the object was to shoot a non-existent cartoon character with a ball that’s appearing on my cell phone. It’s basically a video game with a little bit of exercise. It really wouldn’t surprise me if Michelle Obama is behind this one. Seems like one of her “make fat kids skinny quick” schemes.

    On the down side, we heard a pretty bad accident on Highland Street. When we first heard the crash we were halfway across the park. First thing that came to mind was this warning from the Northbridge Police Department:

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    The way things looked in that park it was certainly believable that someone wandered into traffic because their iPhone told them to and they thought the Toyota was a Pokemon. But as it turned out some old lady pulled out of the Price Chopper parking lot and hit some poor guy on a motorcycle.

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    I swear to God at least half the people in Elm Park just sat on their phones and didn’t even seem to notice. Guess killing imaginary Japanese cartoons was more important. Luckily the poor guy was fully conscious, and many people on scene provided help and comfort. We’re praying for him to have a speedy recovery. You gotta watch out for motorcycles people. I do feel bad for the old lady, who clearly meant no one any harm and was visibly shaken up as she sat in her car. Luckily the guy on the motorcycle lives in a city with great hospitals.

     

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    Discussion

    1. GoneWest


      I do not understand this shit at all.

    2. Mary


      OK – I’m not playing this game, but just for the record, you don’t kill the Pokemon, you catch them.

    3. MommaH


      I had to get some steps in, so why not join in with the Pokemon Hunt…it was fun until we heard that crash, which we were right there. We couldn’t even play anymore because we were so concerned about the motorcyclist. We couldnt help but to feel bad for the woman that he drove into. I am sure they both will be okay, his leg looked roughed up. Anyways, I enjoyed seeing all the younger kids out there helping each other out trying to find some of the Pokemons.

    4. Rational Person


      This is great! It’s getting people who typically shut themselves in their houses out into the world. Nothing wrong with that. Well. the getting hit by cars and finding dead bodies is an issue but still…

    5. Randy Haskins


      When I’ve seen these people the last few days, it reminded me of the Star Trek Next Generation episode where Riker brings back an addictive game played with a pair of glasses, and everyone on the Enterprise gets taken over by aliens.
      OTOH, this could be like adding a little bleach to the gene pool…

    6. Tudor turtle


      Do you think law enforcement could use the Pokemon game to their advantage?

    7. UsualSuspect


      A bunch of nerds running around the park is much better than the dopers that usually frequent Worcester’s finest parks. Maybe they will scare away the druggies.

      1. wabbitt


        I had this same thought – better geeks than crackheads.

        Maybe they’ll push the homeless off the common and Petty will take credit for it.

    8. Publius


      A few zombies stumpled into Elm Street today. Before seeing the reports thought zombies.

    9. BobnMic


      This is so ridiculously stupid. Wifey-poo was telling me today that some numbskull dude was glued to his fucking iPhone and walked right into traffic right in front of her, no crosswalk, no red light, on the way home from work yesterday. This because of a news story we saw tonight on TV about this shit so she told me. She had to slam on her brakes barely missing the zombie shitbird.

      She rolls down her window and yells at the guy to “watch out” and he goes nuts, flips her the bird and bangs on the hood of her car causing a dent calling her the “C” word.

      Ok, I know some think I am insane on here and that I have earned no doubt. But seriously all jokes aside, if I was in that car oh Lord………..

    10. Reddog


      All those folks in the park must work nights right? Unless they had today off.

      1. Rational person


        Well, my kids are college students who have the summer off and only work part-time.

        1. fauxymon


          Get off the Pokemon and maybe they could work full time.

          1. Rational person


            You seem fun.

            1. bwahahahah


              That’s what your mom said.

    11. CheyenneLeonard


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      1. PG


        SHUT THE FUCK UP

    12. WHATEVUH


      A kid with a hoodie, and ear buds, looking down at his phone walked right out into the street in front of me without looking first. I wasn’t going fast thankfully. I honked my horn at him, and gestured to him, and yelled WTF?? at him, he started screaming at me that HE had the right of way! LOL So I yelled back, you’re not in a crosswalk you brain dead fucking moron !

    13. TRACEY HICKS


      It is out of control. Someone is going to get hurt. I live in Elm Park and the other night there were 3 vehicles (music blaring) that pulled up and unloaded into the park about 15 people who were all yelling and laughing at 1am while the rest of the world is trying to sleep.

      Yesterday there were about 12 people at the light elm and park all glued to phones. I was waiting for someone to dart into the street. Its BAD BAD BAD!!!!

    14. Love, Me


      You know why Pokémon hide under your bed, right? So they can Pikachu while you’re sleeping!!

      1. wabbitt


        As long as they don’t Squirtle on my Jigglypuffs.

        1. Rational Person


          You win the interwebs tonight!

    15. fauxymon


      “Zombies” is right.

      What is maybe even scarier is the number of people well into adulthood (chronologically) in these pictures, playing this stupid game.

      Kids are kids and will do all sorts of stupid things. This is where ADULTS are supposed to step in, and not to play this game with them, or rationalize that now Junior is “getting more steps” while the kid tromps around graveyards, etc. at 1 AM.

    16. Joe Max


      Most are at the young peer-pressure and trendy age. At least they’re doing something, to move around for a change. Maybe even lose a few pounds !

    17. Wesley lacroix


      Looks more like the dork apocalypse to me.lmao

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