All-Star Criminals

Quincy Chinstrap Chudmiser Turned Himself In To Police Just Hours After Turtleboy Nation Made Him Famous 

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You know you can’t hide from Turtleboy. Christopher Murch, who was wanted for causing accident that killed his young friend and injuring another, knew he was shit out of luck once the Turtles descended. He turned himself in only hours after we made his face famous. 

In case you missed yesterday’s BOLO you can catch up here

Chinstrapped Chudmiser, Who Killed His Friend In Quincy Car Accident, Is On The Run From Police – “Only God Can Judge” Crew Thinks You Need To Shut Up Because You Weren’t There

I’m glad this coward is off the streets. He is being charged with leaving the scene of a personal injury and death, negligent operation (speed was a factor) and leaving the scene of an injury. He tried to tell the cops that the two other guys in his truck had stolen it. What a loser. 

Of course we have some shout outs to give to our loyal pals. 

Those who did the handoff: 

And those who did the victory lap. 

We did have one hater, and like Jello, there is always room for a shame sandwich. 

Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. I know you’re salty because your nose looks like a flaccid, smashed, pecker, but everybody knows the chud who covers the South Shore is a chick, bro! Would you mind giving my pink shorts back? I need them to go with my Mr. Bubble vintage baby T. 

I’m just so tickled that you’re throwing us shade while using one of the words the infamous Brett Killoran coined. After all, even our haters get us paid. Thanks for the clicks, queefweed. 

Anyways, GOOD WORK TURTLES! Another turd off the street thanks to you! 

8 Comment(s)
  • They call me Ponch
    August 16, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    Nice Monte Carlo, kid.

    Is that an Official Pace Car?

    Good talk.

  • Stunt Penis
    August 16, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    Another great job by the Turtle.

    Making America Safe Again… one scumbag at a time!

  • Wannabe1
    August 16, 2017 at 4:43 pm

    If I grow a chinstrap, get a neck tattoo and a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls Hat can I come to your next house party?

  • Not this time
    August 16, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    I read your blog all the time and it’s fucking awesome but on this y’all didn’t have anything to do with it, he turned himself in so idk how y’all can take credit for this. Either way kids a shitbag so it is what it is

  • dick buttkiss
    August 16, 2017 at 1:45 pm

    He turned him self in, he didn’t get caught because you “featured” him on your web site. I am surprised you didnt end up on 4chan again, asking for a personal army request!
    Yeah so this blog is you posting pictures from peoples facebook after they do something stupid, thats your whole gimmick.

    • Linda
      August 16, 2017 at 2:36 pm

      And it’s great. So suck one Butt Dickkiss.

    • PhilSimmsSucks
      August 16, 2017 at 6:03 pm

      Hey Dick, change your name to butthurt, you fucking loser

  • whatevuh
    August 16, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    Be the worst that you can be . . . life in the sewer awaits you. In my day, we aspired to better ourselves, these shit-stains aspire to be the worst they can be

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