Politics

Real Potheads Should Vote No On Question 4 To Legalize Weed Because Tax And Regulate Are Terrible, Terrible Words

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As you know Turtleboy Sports is a pro-weed blog. And in November Question 4 on the Massachusetts ballot gives voters the opportunity to fully legalize marijuana in the state by voting “Yes.” You would think that this is something we endorse. But after a long soul-searching episode, which featured a quiet walk around Elm Park while listening to Bryan Adams greatest hits, we have decided to endorse “No” on Question 4. And this commercial is why:

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Whenever I see people say that we should have legalized marijuana the most common argument is that we should “tax and regulate” it. Newsflash – “tax” and “regulate” are two of the worst words in the English language. Nothing good comes out of either one of those.

Look, we got a pretty good deal in Massachusetts as it is right now with weed. Anyone can go to their doctor and get a medical marijuana card. Takes two seconds and no one gets denied. Plus, the powers that be stopped considering marijuana a drug a long time ago.

But if that’s too much work for you we also decriminalized marijuana years ago. As a result you cannot get arrested if they catch you with weed on you. The WORST they can do is ticket you. But as local police chiefs have pointed out, these tickets are meaningless and unenforceable since you don’t even have to give your real name and there is no penalty for not paying the tickets. So basically the cops have stopped wasting their time.

To me this is problem solved. What else do potheads want? Because if you like your weed now, you’re not gonna like it as nearly as much when it’s fully legalized. Do you realize what tax and regulate means? Tax means the price of a dime bag is about to double because right now the weed you’re buying from the drummer in the band that plays at Beatniks on the weekend is tax free. Get used to it because whenever the Statehouse needs to raise more revenue the first thing they’re going to do is increase taxes on marijuana. Because no one feels bad about taxing potheads.

Meanwhile, “regulate” means the government is going to decide exactly how much THC can be in marijuana in order for customers to buy it. It’s gonna take some of you people five blunts to the dome before you get the munchies. You’re probably gonna have to give your ID to the store so they can record it and the government can keep track of how much pot you smoke. Meanwhile your poor weed dealer is gonna have to start selling coke. And with all this regulation the costs are going to increase for growers, and they’re gonna pass that tab onto the consumer. This is what “regulate” means. They’re going to ruin weed and make it more expensive.

Anyway, there’s something nostaglic about buying your weed off of a shady weed dealer. Everything on the black market is better. That’s just a scientific fact. Most importantly, no one cares about weed, so it might as well be legal. So we highly suggest all you potheads out there stop ruining a good thing for everyone and enjoy the perfect balance we have right now in Massachusetts. Join Turtleboy in our Potheads For No On Question 4 campaign.

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36 Comment(s)
  • Grassachusetts
    October 7, 2016 at 8:55 am

    But if I can grow my own legally there would be no tax or regulation on the level of thc there. Not to mention it will drive the black market price down now that they have to compete with legal stores. And maybe my guy won’t have me waiting in the mcd’s parking lot for an hour when he knows I could got score a dime bag at cumbys. Yes on 4!

  • BobnMics many Alter Egos
    October 5, 2016 at 11:18 pm

    Peace Love and happiness!!

    I love to smoke the pot while I’m driving my Harley to my mega mansion. I live next to Tom Brady. I’m really refined and eloquent. My best ideas happen at 4am. I am super fit and have long luscious hair like Rapunzel.

  • Ganj
    October 5, 2016 at 8:56 pm

    I agree TB, but here’s the ticket. When it becomes legal and all the dispensaries are selling possibly sub par weed and charging outrageous prices for it….I will be growing it and selling it for $250 an ounce…maybe less….so I will win. I will undercut any legal operation. And I will be able to grow 8-10 plants at a time…LEGALLY.

  • Justin
    October 5, 2016 at 8:43 pm

    State will be capitalizing on “Oui’s” for driving after medicinal use. Consider this all you stoners who drive after medicinal use. Can of worms. Leave it shut.

    • Ganj
      October 5, 2016 at 9:05 pm

      Also a good point. Shitheads that smoke and drive. Will ruin it for the rest of us.

      • Bone ride
        October 7, 2016 at 9:09 am

        Hasn’t been in issue in the years it’s been decriminalized.. Cops have no way to prove you’re too high to drive.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    October 5, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    Ridiculous article. Weed should be treated no different than alcohol.

  • Mirror Mirror
    October 5, 2016 at 8:14 pm

    Pot smokers will be too burnt out to vote – even if they could remember if they ever bothered to register.

    Although this is Mass, so the Dems already have the list of medical pot voters and will have ACORN, Mosaic, et al, cast illegal absentee ballots for them.

    • Too burnt out
      October 7, 2016 at 9:30 am

      I smoke pot everyday, go to college full time and I work full time.. But ya ill prob be too burnt out to go to the local middle school and vote.. Good comment. You probably believe all cops are racist too right?

  • jl
    October 5, 2016 at 7:40 pm

    yes on 4 here i need to get high now

    • Gilly13
      October 5, 2016 at 8:04 pm

      I have a hundred feet if rope and plenty of fifty foot trees! Come on over! I’ll get you high!

      • Gilly13
        October 5, 2016 at 8:05 pm

        “Of”

        Stupid auto fill.

  • High and Happy
    October 5, 2016 at 5:49 pm

    I’ll be sitting here in Colorado cruising around the mountains and beautiful scenery and enjoying life while laughing at Massachusetts from afar. Never coming back. Ever. Y’all are angry and anxious people.

    • Ganj
      October 5, 2016 at 9:03 pm

      Yes, but we can get to an ocean easily.

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    October 5, 2016 at 5:37 pm

    I don’t care if people smoke weed but I just can’t. The last time I tried it many years ago I was some paranoid asshole that probably ruined everyone’s high. I seriously thought I was going to die because I couldn’t swallow or at least it felt that way. I was seriously trying to use my brain to swallow and I just couldn’t. Then I get all creeped out because I feel like I’m talking a lot and everyone is deaf because no one was answering me.

    Then once I bought weed from some construction worker in the Bronx and unbeknownst to me at that time, it ended up being laced and I was fucking hallucinating. I was, according to friends, feeding imaginary pigeons in front of a train station with bread. Like, I bought sliced bread from the store and broke it into pieces and just threw it everywhere for 20 minutes waiting for our train. Once we all got on the train and entered the dark tunnel, I had the worst mind fucked experience ever because I physically felt blind.

    I was so high it felt real. Never again…..never lol…

    • ProfessorM
      October 5, 2016 at 6:09 pm

      Thanks for trying to make another article all about YOU Fiesty. Nobody wants to read about your pot experience. The Title of this article isn’t ‘Hey Fiesty tell us about your stupid pot experience.”. Go back to ignoring your kid.

      • Ganj
        October 5, 2016 at 9:01 pm

        LOL I love your comments, Feisty.

    • shhhh
      October 5, 2016 at 6:46 pm

      Shhhh Fiesty nobody cares about you shhhh

      • Ganj
        October 5, 2016 at 9:02 pm

        I love your comments, Feisty.

    • Ganj
      October 5, 2016 at 9:00 pm

      LOL I love your comments, Feisty.

      • Ganj
        October 5, 2016 at 10:00 pm

        Actually just kidding gotcha. I hate all of your comments Feisty. You are such an idiot bwaaaaaaaaaaa.

        • You're that mad?
          October 5, 2016 at 11:23 pm

          How afraid are you that you have to hide under a different name…

          Awwwwwww

          • Ganj
            October 6, 2016 at 12:43 am

            And what did you just do here? Again an idiot you are and never cease to amaze.

    • BobnMic
      October 6, 2016 at 1:38 am

      Well thanks that explains alot there Fiesty. You’ve been hitting mind altering drugs during your growth period toward your current status and that explains why you are insane right now. Certifiably insane. All over the place nuts. Never making sense and always a coward behind your many ghost names.

      I still love the fall out between you and ProfessorM. Much information was revealed on that one alone which always happens when unhinged people (women in particular) do a cat fight. In a nut shell you are a pill head and ProfessorM is a heroin addict so we all learned.

      The following is a previous post of their their hilarious fallout included with my my synopsis:

      BobnMic
      September 27, 2016 at 3:22 pm

      I just had to re-read these warped rants from these two idiots Fiesty fake Lawyer and fake ProfessorM (of Nothing) that have clogged our comment section all summer. Below is a cat-fight on a sports blog between these two former allies who’s sole purpose last April was to come in here in the comments and disrupt anything and everything and target certain individuals in order to attempt to humiliate them. Some weak minded individuals bought into there shit but most did not.

      Quick questions? – Why is it so important to you two assholes to find out the true identities of the commenters on an anonymous sports blog? What purpose would that serve other than to further your humiliation campaign toward people you don’t even know? What kind of asshole decides that this is a good idea?

      Check out the cat-fight rants from the fake ProfessorM it’s revealing:

      “Now I’m working with bobnmic? Is this because you have zero information again on who he is?”
      No you are not “working” with me you douche-bag so stop with that bullshit already. Oh and there is this other gem from the ProfessorM of Nothing:

      “I may have said some shitty things to you Bob, but at this moment I hold no ill will, in fact, I’m about to figuratively become you, so I should probably wish you luck as well.”

      Hmmm. But unfortunately I do and what the fuck does figuratively become me even mean? So how about fuck you to your stupid “I may have said” absolute bullshit. You are just as much the cause of the demise of this comment section as your asshole fake Lawyer infatuation.

      And of course there is this little piece of intelligence from the asshat who calls herself a lawyer: “Shut the fuck up you junkie cunt. Keep your fucking mouth closed already. Before you embarass yourselves.”

      Hey Fiesty fake Lawyer – You reinvented the words embarrass yourself. Not to mention that in your drug induced stupor you forgot how to spell embarrass. How embarrassing lol…
      You both suck and airing your dirty laundry here is the relief of the simple phrase – what comes around goes around…

      • BobnMic Go Away
        October 6, 2016 at 5:20 am

        STFU! GO AWAY!! Nobody gives a rat’s ass what you have to say! And lay off the glass pipe and you won’t ramble so much.

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          October 6, 2016 at 7:15 am

          They are two peas in a pod. I believe everything drug addicts say too when they are being called out!!

          I wouldn’t even bother. Let him continue to make posts that no one even cares about. I have learned that if I pretend they are both dead, this place is nice.

          You don’t see me randomly attacking either of them, and it will remain that way.

          • BobnMic
            October 6, 2016 at 12:49 pm

            “You don’t see me randomly attacking either of them, and it will remain that way.”

            Ya ok there. Pure bullshit so bad it makes you nauseous! You’re just like a terrorist. You strike under a disguise then re-emerge as some holier than thou kindred spirit. Utter bullshit you are and here you go again wishing death upon commenters that don’t see things your way like a fucking dictator would do. It’s weird how you just can not see this. The sIgns of insanity. Plainly spoken – you’re fucking nuts girl now get the fuck out of here.

  • Tudor turtle
    October 5, 2016 at 5:01 pm

    Not to mention the surrounding states coming to Massachusetts to get high.

  • Mat
    October 5, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    Dumbest argument yet. State needs the tax revenue. Also kids can get it on the black market. “Regulate” means making it harder for kids to get. Also it means kids will no longer know someone in the game on the black market and ultimately make it harder for them to get harder substances or even worse, a gun. Leaving weed in a limbo state only sends mix messages and allows for all of the negative side to the drug to persist.

  • Sal Monella
    October 5, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    The pot heads and Social Justice Warriors will need weed from every available supply to deal with the trauma when President Trump starts taking away all their freebies they’ve been used to.

  • Hoss
    October 5, 2016 at 4:17 pm

    TB, you really need to go to Colorado, Washington or Cali and tell me weed isn’t cheaper and better out there. $12 grams for the nicest weed you ever seen, with a kaleidoscope of options lol. Not to mention extractions and edibles that are amazing. Plus, while I’m getting high, I’m helping to buy a fire truck, or give the police some body armor. And you can always just grow your own and the government wouldn’t be involved at all.

  • Credible source
    October 5, 2016 at 2:36 pm

    Oops, totally disregard our last statement. Turns out our reliable source made the whole thing up after doing some mega bong hits. Don’t blame us blame the source. Anyways the message is still the same kids, don’t do drugs.

  • Credible source
    October 5, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    !Breaking News! A reliable source tipped us off that Turtleboy was arrested today for assault and battery of a child, indecent exposure, illegal possession of a hand gun and possession of heroin with intent to distribute. More updates to come.

  • sa
    October 5, 2016 at 1:37 pm

    This just SCREAMS “paid for by the Massachusetts Police Association” or maybe Tony Salerno, knowing that there’s easy $ defending these cases.

  • Mark
    October 5, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    Oh turtleboy, thoughts governed by irrational fears and improbable hypothetical situations. A little bit of tax never hurt much, taxes are needed to pay for state needs in case it’s a news flash to you. Look at Colorado they have bud legalized and have sold over 996 million $ worth! They even take on more tax dollars than alcohol! Turtleboy likes to say otherwise but he’s nothing but a flawed libertarian who hates taxes. Wake up its 2016 not 1776!

    • woodsman
      October 5, 2016 at 6:34 pm

      Yeah fuck the government. All the taxes from the sale of pot will go to anti toking adds that do nothing. Ill just keep growing my own without the card. That way I keep my LTC.

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