Spanky McBlueballs Caught Midstroke Punching The Clown In Dunkins Parking Lot Across The Street From State Police Barracks
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Busy couple days in Connecticut….
Wait a minute…..so you’re telling this isn’t how Dunkins makes their glazed donuts?
I blame the Patriots. This is what happens when coffee is only 89 cents after a win.
Come on guy. Quit being a cheap fuck. I know Dunkin Donuts has the free wifi, but just use your data and pay the extra overage fees. Sure beats the $5,000 bond you gotta post to get out of this one.
Seriously though, what a jerk off!! If he gets the right lawyer he’ll definitely get off, but he’s gonna need a helping hand.
In all seriousness, I can’t help but feel bad for this guy. I’m not sure what was going through his mind. I checked out his Facebook page before he took it down in shame and he actually seems like a normal human being, who evidently caught a chub and he simply could not resist the urge to rub the genie out. He actually came home after his arrest and posted a Dante quote:
Rachets don’t quote Dante. They quote Beyonce.
I dunno, maybe he was just enjoying the thrill of it all. But there’s nothing more embarrassing than being arrested for taming the shrew in public. Mid strike, mind you. Did the cops at least let him finish? That’s the million dollar question everyone wants to know. Once you see them knocking on your window and you know you’re going to jail, you might as well finish the job. You don’t wanna bring a loaded cannon into a crowded jail cell.
Here’s the worst part about it – check out where he was flogging the dolphin:
Yup, directly across the street from the State Police barracks.
Look, we’ve all felt the urge before pal. But you’re in the Connecticut Corridor. There’s a million and one places you can pull over and burp the baby. Whatever you do, don’t do it in a Dunkin Donuts parking lot directly across the street from Troop D. It’s gonna be blue balls central, and you’re gonna end up on Turtleboy. Just sayin.
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