All-Star Criminals

Local Jizz Whistle Barges Into Auburn Mall Aeropostale At Closing Time, Lifts Up Gate, Harasses Manager, Demands To Know Her Name, Shames Her On Facebook, Morons Give Her Dumb Advice

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Turtleboy Investigates

Woman Makes Up Facebook Lie About Russian Guy Abducting Her Child At Auburn TJ Maxx, Says She Doesn’t Want To Contact Turtleboy Because We’ll Realize She’s Lying

Woman Makes Up Facebook Lie About Russian Guy Abducting Her Child At Auburn TJ Maxx, Says She Doesn’t Want To…

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All-Star Criminals

Poopface Arrested For Stabbing Guy In Auburn Mall Parking Lot Posted On Turtleboy In September Whining About Us Being Too Negative

Poopface Arrested For Stabbing Guy In Auburn Mall Parking Lot Posted On Turtleboy In September Whining About Us Being Too Negative…

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Turtleboy Investigates

Simon Property Group Is Cutting Corners And Consequently The Auburn Mall Has Turned Into A Gravy Dumpster Convention

Simon Property Group Is Cutting Corners And Consequently The Auburn Mall Has Turned Into A Gravy Dumpster Convention Want to…

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Hoodrat Heroes

Auburn Mall Parking Lot Jr. Hoodrat Fight Elicits Epic Commentary From Thug Life Websterites In 100 Emoji Pajamas

Auburn Mall Parking Lot Jr. Hoodrat Fight Elicits Epic Commentary From Thug Life Websterites In 100 Emoji Pajamas Want to advertise…

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All-Star Criminals

Webster Wangsta Who Was Arrested For Stealing A $3,400 Necklace From Auburn Mall Sears Is The Most Ghettofabulous Hoodrat We’ve Ever Seen

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Hoodrat Heroes

Meet The Two Worcester Cheesehogs At The Center Of The Auburn Mall Donnybrook

Meet The Two Worcester Cheesehogs At The Center Of The Auburn Mall Donnybrook Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us…

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Hoodrat Heroes

Epic Fight Between Hoodrat Gravy Dumpsters At Auburn Mall As Santa And Small Children Watch In Horror

This is what happens when the Greendale Mall goes out of business. Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at…

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All-Star Criminals

Are These Two Crusty Skags Who Drove To The Auburn Mall From The Bronx To Spend Counterfeit $100 Bills On Victoria’s Secret The Dumbest Criminals Of All Time?

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WTF

50 Year Old Man In Diaper Playing On Kid’s Rides At Auburn Mall Is Obviously Something That Needs To Be Addressed

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Bone Ride

Greendale Mall Is Closing: Bigger Dump – Greendale Mall vs. Auburn Mall

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Smiles And Sunshine

Street Cred Affirmed: Turtleboy Gets Shoutout In Local Gangsta Rap Video

Vote for Turtleboy Sports for best local blog 2015 by clicking here.  Like the Turtleboy Safe Space Facebook page to follow…

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