Springfield EBT-Rex Steals iPhone From Guy’s Truck, Takes Selfies And Pictures Of Drug Dealing Equipment, Doesn’t Realize How iCloud Works


Springfield EBT-Rex Steals iPhone From Guy’s Truck, Takes Selfies And Pictures Of Drug Dealing Equipment, Doesn’t Realize How iCloud Works Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for…

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Help Us Find This Palmer Junkie Who Robbed A Disabled Vietnam Vet Of His Entire Pension In Series Of Three Horrible Break Ins 


Alright Turtleriders, we need your help locating a junkie slugrake who robbed a helpless disabled Vietnam veteran of his entire pension. Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected]

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Here’s What $80K Will Do For You if You’re a Run-Down Economic Backwater Full of SJW Dipshits, Rednecks, and Wannabe Gangsters


Here’s What $80K Will Do For You if You’re a Run-Down Economic Backwater Full of SJW Dipshits, Rednecks, and Wannabe Gangsters Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected]

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Welcome To The Springfield Public Schools


This is so Springfield it hurts. Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.  …

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Turtleboy Brand Now Being Used To Endorse Ratchet Strippers At Palmer Nudey Bar


Turtleboy Brand Now Being Used To Endorse Ratchet Strippers At Palmer Nudey Bar Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about…

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Legendary Springfield Stripper Princeza Aponte Arrested Again (With Pants On This Time) For Driving With Cocaine, Laughing At State Troopers, Trying To Drive Away


Princeza, the legendary Springfield stripper, was arrested AGAIN this week, and as usual the arrest report was filled with hilarity. Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for…

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Holyoke Sugar Daddy Posts On Facebook That His Girlfriend Was Kidnapped By 5 Men With Guns, Everyone Calls The Cops, Hoodrat Commentary Ensues, Then She Escaped The Next Day


Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.             What…

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Springfield Cheeshog Busted After Being Suspected Of Stealing $80,000 From Work At K-Mart


Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.              …

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Local Boob Yells Obscenities At Springfield Breast Cancer Walk Because He Was High On Weed, Just Kidding – He Was Drunk And Probably Should’ve Smoked Weed Instead


Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.              …

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Magnificent Springfield Voke-stached Entrepreneur Steals Dirt Bike From Holyoke, Sells On Facebook Yard Sale Page, Gets Busted By Undercover Cops


Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we…

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