• The Gun Parlor

  • Springfield Man Rapes And Impregnates 11 Year Old Girl, Claims She Raped Him While He Was Sleeping


    Springfield Man Rapes And Impregnates 11 Year Old Girl, Claims She Raped Him While He Was Sleeping Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.  …

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    Greenfield Chick Turns Hoodrat, Threatens To Kill Springfield Cop After Assaulting Him For Arresting Her For Threatening To Kill Ratchet Hoes


    Greenfield Chick Turns Hoodrat, Threatens To Kill Springfield Cop After Assaulting Him For Arresting Her For Threatening To Kill Ratchet Hoes Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected]

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    Springfield Pyramid Scheme Trap Queen Tries To Destroy Meat Outlet With Viral Post About Browned Celery, Fails Miserably In Attempt To Be Internet Erick Brockabitch


    Springfield Pyramid Scheme Trap Queen Tries To Destroy Meat Outlet With Viral Post About Browned Celery, Fails Miserably In Attempt To Be Internet Erick Brockabitch Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email…

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    Undocumented Immigrant Shoots At State Trooper And Dog, Gets Acquitted On Intent But Guilty On Assault, Still In America Despite Previous Prison Sentence And ICE Monitoring


    Undocumented Immigrant Shoots At State Trooper And Dog, Gets Acquitted On Intent But Guilty On Assault, Still In America Despite Previous Prison Sentence And ICE Monitoring Want to advertise with…

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    Springfield Chudstuffer Who Brags About Selling Drugs On Facebook Arrested For B&E After Leaving Footprint Trail In Snow, Ghettofab Free My Boi Commentary Follows On SPD Facebook Page


    Springfield Chudstuffer Who Brags About Selling Drugs On Facebook Arrested For B&E After Leaving Footprint Trail In Snow, Ghettofab Free My Boi Commentary Follows On SPD Facebook Page Want to…

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    Springfield EBT-Rex Steals iPhone From Guy’s Truck, Takes Selfies And Pictures Of Drug Dealing Equipment, Doesn’t Realize How iCloud Works


    Springfield EBT-Rex Steals iPhone From Guy’s Truck, Takes Selfies And Pictures Of Drug Dealing Equipment, Doesn’t Realize How iCloud Works Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for…

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    Help Us Find This Palmer Junkie Who Robbed A Disabled Vietnam Vet Of His Entire Pension In Series Of Three Horrible Break Ins 


    Alright Turtleriders, we need your help locating a junkie slugrake who robbed a helpless disabled Vietnam veteran of his entire pension. Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected]

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    Here’s What $80K Will Do For You if You’re a Run-Down Economic Backwater Full of SJW Dipshits, Rednecks, and Wannabe Gangsters


    Here’s What $80K Will Do For You if You’re a Run-Down Economic Backwater Full of SJW Dipshits, Rednecks, and Wannabe Gangsters Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected]

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    Welcome To The Springfield Public Schools


    This is so Springfield it hurts. Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.  …

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    Turtleboy Brand Now Being Used To Endorse Ratchet Strippers At Palmer Nudey Bar


    Turtleboy Brand Now Being Used To Endorse Ratchet Strippers At Palmer Nudey Bar Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about…

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    Legendary Springfield Stripper Princeza Aponte Arrested Again (With Pants On This Time) For Driving With Cocaine, Laughing At State Troopers, Trying To Drive Away


    Princeza, the legendary Springfield stripper, was arrested AGAIN this week, and as usual the arrest report was filled with hilarity. Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for…

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    Holyoke Sugar Daddy Posts On Facebook That His Girlfriend Was Kidnapped By 5 Men With Guns, Everyone Calls The Cops, Hoodrat Commentary Ensues, Then She Escaped The Next Day


    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.             What…

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    Springfield Cheeshog Busted After Being Suspected Of Stealing $80,000 From Work At K-Mart


    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.              …

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    Local Boob Yells Obscenities At Springfield Breast Cancer Walk Because He Was High On Weed, Just Kidding – He Was Drunk And Probably Should’ve Smoked Weed Instead


    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.              …

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