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  • Taunton Wangsta Ends Up In The Turtleboy Graveyard – Ratchet From Drug Robbery Blames SSTG For All Her Problems – Maybe She Should Blame Her Hoodrat Mom And Sister

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    I had two sources tell me last night tell me that Michael Keegan, head Chudcrip, got taken away in handcuffs Friday after the Taunton Police Department got word of our blog. 

    You know, the one about the beatdown they gave a mini-ratchet passing off fake money to drug dealers? 

    Michael Keegan, welcome to the Turtleboy Graveyard.

    This would be my third burial since starting this job and I got drunk to celebrate. Bye Fequeefa.

    If you need to catch up on this dumpster fire of a story you can read all about it here:

    Now we just need to get the rest of these little shits behind bars. Kyle Crotty already has an existing warrant he needs to go away on and Damon Davis is just wandering the streets acting like he owns the place. If you see them call the Taunton Police at 508-824-7522

    Now, we’ve all seen The Wire. If you haven’t you need to get on that shit now. It’s the best show ever to grace the television. We know the fake money game from Season One when Bubbles and Johnny do the same thing to the Barksdale crew in the pit. For reference:

    Burning real drug dealers gets your ass beat. It sure as fuck doesn’t result in a Facebook war, a xanex-induced apology, and some little ratchet named Ana Galarza thinking she’s famous because of it. She’s a stage ten Hoodsie.
    Only in Taunton.

    I think it’s fair to say that this group of no-pube Taunton twats ain’t no Barksdale joint.

    Ana, who claims she’s on the right path to being a neurosurgeon, took no accountability for her actions, but instead, blamed Turtlegirl for her mom not getting custody of her siblings back.

    Wait, but what about the hard ass we saw before she realized the severity of what becoming Turtleboy Famous means?

    Because it sure as hell didn’t seem to phase Ana’s sister, Heaven, who was also involved in the beat down/robbery along with their skuzzy friend Ariana Lima. Look at what Heaven had to say: 

    In modern English this translates to “These people robbed me because I’m a drug dealer. If you’re calling me out we can meet. I took my beating because that’s just how it goes when you rob someone for drugs. If you keep talking I’m going to fight again.”

    Then this Neil chimed in. Of course his name is Neil. 

    I included him, not because he’s important, but because these are what all the bitch-ass kids in Taunton are like. Pimple-faced white kids who think they’re hard. Sweet picture with your Mom, Neil. Does she know that you’re dropping racial epithets in the middle of drug feud?  What a pussy.

    Anyways, Ana and Heaven’s mom Chanda Medeiros hangs out with her kids at 11 Everett St in Taunton. That’s a place which is KNOWN for how many heroin ODs get responded to there. How do we know that?

    Momma was right in the middle of that fight.

    Oh, and look at this little skank’s police blotter: 

    Awe. Maybe if your mom wasn’t so busy looking for her next hog to ride, making babies she can’t take care of, and letting her older ones run around like a bunch of prepubescent crackheads, she wouldn’t be having these issues with DCF.

    Oh, and speaking of the Garlza mom? Meet Chanda Medeiros: 

    If you can’t have custody of them might as well get their names tat’d on your arm.

    What kind of a mother has kids running the streets, passing off fake money for drugs, getting their ass beat? One who wants to better Taunton. Give me a break you sloven sausage-casing. Of course you have five kids and lost custody of them! You’re too busy making the city think you’re a good human while your eldest is spitting on police and buying drugs. It’s easier to get their names tattooed on your arm than actually raise them!

    Well, seems Kyle Crotty’s mom had to make it known that she was in no way responsible for her son’s actions. Only, she is. She’s an obvious alcoholic and sources say she kicked her son out of the house and let him fend for himself. This cheddar swine spun it to make it sound like he’s a runway. Brett, savage as usual, brought the house down on her. She, and his father Brian, are entirely to blame why this kid isn’t in school, has warrants out of him, and is attacking people during botched drug deals. This woman should be strung up by her feet and forced to wear a sign about what a shitty parent is while people throw tomatoes at her.

    Again, it’s time to blow up Taunton and let nature grow over it. I can’t wait until we get the rest of these kids and parents in front of a judge. The are everything that is wrong with this world.

    South Shore Turtlegirl

    [email protected] Covering the dirty South Shore and Coast. Email me with tips, send me some hate mail, or just say hello!

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    1. NeilnBob

      I couldn’t make it through this whole thing. Jesus, who gives a rat’s ass about these people? And btw, it’s racial “epithets” not epitaphs. You’re writing sucks.

      1. NeilnBob

        *Your writing sucks. My bad.

      2. BobThenKneel

        It should be, your writing sucks, not “you’re writing sucks”. Since, “you’re” is the contraction for you are…and “your” is a pronoun showing ownership. You are writing sucks, does not make any sense! SMH If you do not know how to use contractions correctly you should not use them. BTW, if you do not like the blog, then don’t read it!

    2. South Shore Turtlegirl

      Thanks for the eye on that. Autocorrect is a bitch… as you just discovered yourself.

      1. Brian Albrecht(the real one)


      2. brian albrecht (the real one)

        Yo Turtle Girl, I said wassup! Don’t you be ignorin me. I got sumthin in miniature in my pants for you yo. Its little but it packs a wallop! I know how to please a woman cuz when I was in prison I WAS THE GIRL knowimsayin LOL!!! Lotsa dudes pleased me so I know what i’m doin. I hope you packin a strap on cuz i’m bringin the lube. You can even hit me dry LOL. It’s pretty loose back there so we should be good to go. Yo girl, you better make sure dat strap on got them ribs for my pleasure. DAMNNNN!!!!

        1. South Shore Turtlegirl

          Oh lord.

          1. ZephyrCat


            1. brian albrecht(the real one)

              wow zephyrcat you’re so hilarious. You really do have an obsession with me huh. I’M NOT GAY MISS ME WITH THE HOMO SHIT. You fucking clown ass nigga. WHY ARE YOU SCARED TO MEET UP!? cuz you straight PUSSY. and just so you know when i do meet up with SSTG Of course im bringing lube. not cuz im gay(as i know you wish) its cuz her vag is dry as fuck. now excuse me while i go back to using your mothers mouth as a punching bag for my cock. She just told me my semen tastes like strawberrys you fucking mouth breather.

            2. ZephyrCat

              You are welcome to come visit me. You ever left your town? I’ve been to 45 of the 50 states and a bunch overseas but I’ve no desire to go to your own personal little shithole. You still haven’t figured out why everyone is breaking your little fuzzy catballs? Because your buttons are so easy to press. You’re fucking hysterical!

            3. ZephyrCat

              I do feel a little bad for you though. Everyone feels bad for babies and young children of fuckups, drug addicts, absentee fathers, trickin mothers and the like. Well, you are exhibit 1A of what happens to those kids when they do grow up. Dysfunctional, delusional misfits. I do hope you haven’t bred yet.

            4. Brian's Gaping Anus

              I need a real man to knock the dust off my crusty mangina.


            5. brian albrecht(the real one)

              where do you want to meet you fucking pussy? ZephyrCat, I’ll put ur retarded ass into the twilight zone with a right hook to ur temple u fucking immigrant.
              nice humble brag you stupid fuck, yeah ive been overseas too. You want a medal or something? god you worcester county fucks are just as stupid as you look

            6. ZephyrCat

              You’re act is reliably funny.

            7. Kevin Lynch

              You cocksuckah. I told you where to meet me. Or are you too big a pussy to show?
              I’ll tee up your scrawny, shit encrusted ass and knock you into next year.

    3. Give them a raise!!

      Christ! There is not enough money on God’s green earth to pay me to ever be an officer in this day and age. Grown women who oppose High Five Fridays, AntiFa a**holes who chant anti-police bullsh*t and little gutter sluts who spit at them and call them N words to their face. No way, F**k That!!!!!!!!!!!!! w

      1. Brian Albrecht(the real one)

        You sound like a miserable whale of a person. How much do you weigh? Im serious.

        1. Brian Albrecht(the faggy one)

          Cuz I like fatties…gnomesane?

    4. Hughbo Mont

      Wow ! Ana has better writing skills than some writers here!

    5. Stu Pidazzo

      Nice work, SSTG. Keep them grave diggers busy!

    6. Turd Burglestein

      SSTG has been busier than a 1 legged man in an ass kicking contest. Keep ’em coming…you’re rocking it!

      1. South Shore Turtlegirl

        I’m adding you on Facebook again. Abi got pinched. Haha

        1. brian albrecht(the real one)


          1. Turd Burglestein

            She don’t add fags, so go fag off elsewhere junior.

            1. Brian Albrecht

              shut your cocksucking mouth. How many of Heated’s kids does it take to eat a ‘possum?
              Three. One to eat the ‘possum and two to watch for cars.

              stupid piece of shit. Id say lets meet up but i already know you’re too pussy to do that

    7. Brian Albrecht

      I’ll be in the 2nd to last stall in the men’s room at the mass pike Framingham rest stop from noon to 2:45. And I don’t have a gag reflex

      1. Turd Burglestein

        Not even if I was to fart while you were on the downstroke? What about when giving a blumpkin and you get a face splash when the deuce drops?

      2. brian albrecht(the real one)

        this is so stupid. GET A FUCKING LIFE YOU FAGGOTS. Do you guys actually have fun pretending to be other people? I SWEAR TO GOD IF I GET A HOLD OF ONE OF YOU PUSSYS ITS OVER. I’m going to beat that ass like your parents wish they did. You fucking worcester pieces of shit. FUCK WITH ME. Keep day dreaming about me. Do you pussys think of me before you sleep? BRIAN ALBRECHT….BRIAN ALBRECHT….BRIAN ALBRECHT.

        1. brian albrecht (the real one)

          And another thing YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS, wait until you feel the cold steel pressed to your dome! Its aight tho, it ain’t real and shit. It’s a lighter I got from a badass novelty store near a prison I saw! I scare you first then I light your cigarette MOTHERFUCKER! Yeah dats right you pussys didnt see dat comin did you? BOOM!!!!

        2. Tarbash The Egyptian Magician


          1. BobnMic

            I’m Bob. My wife has no idea that I’m wasting away my retirement annoying women online while I’m drunk. I’ve been wasting my life on here for so long I’m going to throw a tantrum, and spend my whole day trying to get my way, because I’m not wanted.

            1. BobnMic

              I was a total dick to the writer of this blog because I think I made her famous. Now, I’m paying the price and, like SJWs, my tears are extra salty.

            2. BobnMic

              The last time I got a pussy wet was right before I dodged the draft for Nam. We were at a splash park.

            3. BobnMic

              Does anyone know how I can join NAMBLA?

            4. BobnMic

              I’m a little Bobflake, icy and round.
              I fall from the sky (and Bob don’t make a sound).
              When it’s cold I’ll stay all day.
              When it’s warm I’ll melt away.
              I’m a little Bobflake, look at me.
              No other Bobflake is just like me.
              I’m so unique, as you can see,
              And just as special as I can be!

            5. Branch Mgr from Bolyston

              Please stop this nonsense, Bobby! For me!

          2. ZephyrCat

            Not handling retirement well? Man, I haven’t been shitfaced drunk at 1pm in decades.

            1. South Shore Turtlegirl

              He’s having a bad day. I’ve never seen anyone so openly want to join NAMBLA.

            2. ZephyrCat

              Holy shit. I had to look that up. Wish I hadn’t seen that. I’ll be back after I smash my head into the wall. Hopefully I’ll have no recollection of the last 15 minutes.

            3. South Shore Turtlegirl

              We all know Bob is bad on the Internet. This is the only website he knows how to use. Tried to get the poor bastard on Reddit a while back and he must have felt so lost in obscurity that he wanted to touch young men.

            4. BobnMic

              I’m just bored and lonely… And enjoy the company of young gentlemen… preferably in cub scout uniforms… Is that so wrong?

            5. BobnMic

              I love being day drunk and rubbing my nipples to Sears Family Photos. My wife thinks I’m on a Church Chat. LOLZ

              Does anyone know who is hiring a Santa this year? I want to volunteer my lap to impressionable children looking for presents.

            6. ZephyrCat

              Well Bob, I think Brian is at the science museum at 3. Maybe he can help you out.

            7. BobnMic

              I get a chubby watching Nick Jr.

            8. BobnMic

              If I rub gummi bears on my mouse-sized wang…. will it attract children?

            9. BobnMic

              My grundle smells like Smokey The Bear’s coffin.

            10. BobnMic

              I once jizzed all over a Genesis album cover because Phil Collins looked like he wanted it.

            11. BobnMic

              My wife likes it when I sneeze in her anus.

            12. BobnMic

              I eat semen taffy.

        3. Turd Burglestein

          Are you tryna say I’m not Turd Burglestein? Because I can assure you I am. What’s your email address? I’ll send you a picture of my id.

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