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Tonight’s the night we’ve all been waiting for – the first of three debates between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. This is actually happening in real life. Not a dream. It may or may not be followed by a white t-shirt contest. We’ll see how much time is left over. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait. Personally, I think Trump crushes her soul tonight. Hillary is more of a “do shit behind your back” politician. Her team is great about making commercials about all of Trump’s many documented fuck ups, but when it’s just him and her on a stage he’s gonna throw poo all over her face and she’s not gonna know what to do about it.
Anyway, Vegas has some really good betting lines for the debate tonight so you can play along at home. Let’s look them over and you can vote on which bet we should take…..
So the likely answer for this is gonna be yes, which is why you have to be $190 to win $100. But I like “No,” and here’s why. Read the fine print. He’s gotta say “Bill.” Trump will definitely bring up the fact that Bill can’t keep it in his pants, but I kind of think he’s gonna refer to him as “her husband.” For that reason I like taking “No.” Plus it pays out +$145 on a $100 bet.
Are you kidding me? This should be -$1,000,000. There is a 0.0% chance he doesn’t call her a liar. This is a man who nicknamed Ted Cruz, “Lyin Ted Cruz.” But before that no one really associated him with lying. Hillary Clinton’s entire brand revolves around being a liar. Yes is a guaranteed winner.
No is the clear favorite on this, as it should be. Why would Hillary bring up Melania’s name? She’s an irrelevant trophy wife who can barely speak English. Bill will be brought up because Hillary isn’t shit without Bill. Melania is just along for the ride. It doesn’t pay out much, but “No” is easy money.
Wow, once again “Yes” should be minus a billion for this one. Trump’s trump card is to call her a liar. Her trump card is to call him a bigot. She doesn’t even have to call him a bigot. She just has to refer to to the type of atmosphere that she alleges Trump has created. Literally her entire campaign revolves around Trump being an alleged bigot. Not only will she say bigot, she’ll also add in at least three or four “phobias” and/or “isms”(Islamophobia, Transphobia, Homophobia, Sexism, Racism, etc). Take “yes” for sure on this one.
Vegas has the odds right on this one for sure. Should be a toss up. I know a lot of people will be inclined to bet yes on this one, but I’m betting on “no” and here’s why. Trump calls her crooked Hillary when his base is around. They love that shit. He just feeds it to them and watches them feast on her carcass. But he’s gotta appeal to a more national audience this time around. And people who are on the fence aren’t gonna be impressed by his nickname game. He’ll stick to calling her a liar and leave it at that.
“No” is the clear favorite here and rightfully so. She knows she fucked up when she called a quarter of this country deplorable. Not a good look. But I like “Yes” on this one. At some point tonight the moderator will ask her about that time she called 75 million Americans deplorable. And she’ll be forced to answer. And Hillary always answers in complete sentences, which will force her to repeat the word deplorable. I bet she says it at least twice in one breath too. I’m going “Yes” on this one getting paid $170 on a $100 bet.
Once again I like the underdog of “No” in this one. I know that everyone associates Trump with the wall, but he’s been saying it a lot less lately. Just like “crooked Hillary” this is one of those things he says to his base that he doesn’t really have to say anymore. We get it – you’re the wall guy. Plus, he has to actually say those three words in order. He might just reference “the wall.” If this were a tossup I might consider betting “yes” but since the moneyline is right, I’ll take “No” at $225 and see what happens.
Enjoy the debate and I’m sure we’ll be recapping it tomorrow on Turtleboy Tuesdays on 100.1 FM the Pike!!
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