WTF

This Sad Welfare Fox Is What Living In Fitchburg For Two Months Can Do To Anyone

This Sad Welfare Fox Is What Living In Fitchburg For Two Months Can Do To Anyone

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

 

 

 

A turtle rider messaged us about this sad little fox that’s been roaming around Fitchburg for a couple months now:

It’s literally eating roadkill in the middle of the street and does not seem to give a shit that there are cars coming and people are watching him. In other words, if he ran for Mayor of Fitchburg he’d still probably get more votes than Kevin Lynch.

He’s gotten progressively worse over time too. Here he is earlier in the summer:

This is what a normal fox looks like when to grows up in the woods of Westminster, Ashby, or Lunenburg. Next thing you know it takes a wrong left hand turn and BOOM:

Fitchburg welfare Fox. This is what two months in Fitchburg does to an animal. Next thing you know he’s gonna be selling food stamps on Facebook and wearing a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat. Just ask the sad Fitchburg moose from a couple years ago:

11150203_10153160010418257_4037619478322538899_n

That poor gal was enjoying the great outdoors, drinking trout water and eating copious amounts of forest food. Next thing you know he wanders into Fitchburg and all of a sudden she looks like he’s ready to feed herself to a bear.

Anyway, this thing’s clearly got mange or rabies so he’s probably pretty dangerous. The turtle rider who sent it to us told us that she called the city but they didn’t get there in time. Whatever you do don’t feed this thing or try to catch it. Message this lady instead:

Or do this:

Save the Fitchburg welfare fox!!

 

We urge you to support the following local businesses. They provide terrific services for the community!

Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM

screen-shot-2016-12-05-at-8-36-43-pm

unnamed (1)

 

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

 

 

Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

24 Comment(s)
  • Nancy
    September 19, 2017 at 9:39 am

    My husband said its a fox that makes 5 dollars to much to be on welfare.. Because if he was on welfare he’d be overweight!

  • wabbitt
    September 17, 2017 at 5:06 am

    Things have sure gone downhill for Tod since the Widow Tweed passed away…

  • kevi packs a mean 9 iron
    September 16, 2017 at 12:55 pm

    “In other words, if he ran for Mayor of Fitchburg he’d still probably get more votes than Kevin Lynch. ”

    Just gold!

  • whatevuh
    September 15, 2017 at 11:12 pm

    Christ, just shoot the fucking thing, what’s wrong with you people

  • HHH
    September 15, 2017 at 10:23 pm

    Have you seen those billboards with the before and after photos of meth users?

    The towns bordering FItchburg should put up similar signs with the before Fitchburg / after Fitchburg fox photos, as a warning.

    BTW – What, no Go Fund Me for the fox, yet?

    Best TBS column in a long time!

  • chrissy
    September 15, 2017 at 6:26 pm

    OMFG the title of this post is too funny,
    and you scroll through the sad pics and get to the comment section and the comments are hilarious enough to keep you from crying:

    “The poor Fox could possibly be nursed back to physical health however the summer spent is Fitchburg has surely caused so much emotional pain…..”

    and Sue is right!

  • Sue
    September 15, 2017 at 4:43 pm

    Animals have no voice to ask for help, the sicker they get the more vicious they can become. Please help this animal get the help that he/she needs. animals are as innocent as children and just as helpless.

    • HHH
      September 15, 2017 at 10:18 pm

      ” animals are as innocent as children”…except children are human, and animals are…animals.
      Time to call DCF – Department of Children and Foxes.

  • Free Trapper
    September 15, 2017 at 4:04 pm

    Shoulda trapped that thing when it’s pelt was still good. Fuckin thing looks like roadkill now. Somebody’s gotta shoot it before it gets something else sick.

    • HHH
      September 15, 2017 at 10:15 pm

      ” before it gets something else sick.”

      Remember, it is in FITCHBURG.
      Poor thing caught “Fitchburg.”
      It is probably the healthiest thing around.

    • kevi packs a mean 9 iron
      September 16, 2017 at 1:27 pm

      Why all the down votes? Clearly you don’t get it.

  • Tony Orlando
    September 15, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    Clearly fox lives don’t matter

  • Wannabe
    September 15, 2017 at 3:46 pm

    The poor Fox could possibly be nursed back to physical health however the summer spent is Fitchburg has surely caused so much emotional pain and suffering and irreparable damage to his or her mental state that the only merciful thing to do is to put down!

  • ElJefe72
    September 15, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    Free my boi!!!! 100% FACKS!!!

  • Walt Rogers
    September 15, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    Keep that foxes name out your mouth. You have no right to judge, you dont know what its been through, so gimme a break. Only god can judge that fox.

    If this post isnt taken down by 9Am tomorrow, the fox will be calling Maura Healey personally.

  • Peckerwood
    September 15, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    Someone needs to put that thing down, its suffering. A .22 to the head would be painless, compared to what it going thru now. Either way, it’s going to die, how long must it suffer is the question.

  • Stunt Penis
    September 15, 2017 at 1:37 pm

    Is the fox on meth or heroin?

    I’m going to guess heroin only because I can’t see if it has meth mouth.

    • bigdaddy
      September 15, 2017 at 3:40 pm

      I would say more like fentanyl

  • Emily
    September 15, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    That poor little thing. I pray someone can get him/her the help it needs. It obviously has mange. It looks like a baby too, not full grown.
    Heartbreaking

  • Kevin Lynch
    September 15, 2017 at 1:25 pm

    His name is David… and he is Fiiiiiine….

    • kevi packs a mean 9 iron
      September 16, 2017 at 1:20 pm

      Love your swing baby.

  • Johnny5
    September 15, 2017 at 1:24 pm

    I’d rather fuck that fox than the guttermuppet

  • Poo
    September 15, 2017 at 1:19 pm

    Unlike most of the animals you report on, I actually feel terrible for this one.

Comment on this Post

RELATED POSTS
This Truck Driver Was Really, Really Pissed About The 65 Car Accident Pile Up On 290 In Worcester.
Chinese Guy Jumps Seven Floors To His Death To Get Out Of Shopping With Girlfriend
South African Dude Who Pretended To Sign Language Obama’s Nelson Mandela Speech Is Apparently An Insane Murdering Rapist?